Aditi devi dasi Remembers Srila Prabhupada

Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01

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Aditi: When I went in for my brahmin initiation I was nervous, because previously I thought I’d never understand the fingering counting system. But it was so clear when Prabhupada explained it. I remember I didn’t have anything to offer Prabhupada and Lila Shakti, who was in front of me, had many roses so she gave me one yellow rose to give to Prabhupada. When it was finished, I really felt overwhelmed by Srila Prabhupada’s kindness. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, you’re very kind”, and his face just lit up. I could not look at him with all that brilliance so I just bowed my head. When I raised my head back up, I saw what appeared to be a cloud. I didn’t understand what it was, but it was Lord Balaram’s Appearance Day. Because I had cooked parathas the night before for Krishna, Prabhupada asked if I could cook parathas for his lunch. I told him that I was already going to cook his lunch and that I would add the parathas to it. When I went back down to the kitchen I saw it was chaos as somebody spilled hot syrup that was going into the halava. As I was trying to focus as much as I could to make Prabhupada’s lunch nicely, Shyamasundar came down and said, “Prabhupada wants to know why you’ve been cooking for him, and you’re just now getting brahmin initiation?” I said, “I don’t know. Malati asked me to cook.” I also told him that even when I wasn’t initiated I was in charge of the kitchen and had been cooking for the deities. So actually Prabhupada made a very clear statement that only brahmins can cook for the deities and for the spiritual master. It was a very heavy day with thunder and lightning outside on this Balaram’s Appearance Day along with Srila Prabhupada’s admonition, but it was very instructive as well. In 1972 we had been given Tulasi seeds from a devotee from Africa. We planted them and began doing Tulasi puja every day. When Prabhupada came, he walked through the Tulasi room on his way to his room. He immediately said, “Oh, who is this?” We proudly said, “Srila Prabhupada, that’s Tulasi.” Prabhupada looked at the plants and said, “Oh, Tulasi’s cousin.” Before we knew it, all the so-called Tulasis were put out in the yard as they must have been a form of basil. During that time I had the service of cleaning Prabhupada’s room. When he came back from his morning walk earlier than anticipated, I thought I would ask him a question I had been thinking about for a while regarding the relationship between husband and wife and the regulative principles. I went back and forth in my head, “I’m alone with Prabhupada and I should ask him”, but I didn’t have the courage to speak my mind. The next thing I know, Prabhupada asked if I could hand him the beads from the radiator because there were initiations that day. I picked up the beads and as I handed them to Prabhupada, he said, “Chant Hare Krishna.” So I began chanting, finished my work, and I realized that I can’t disturb the spiritual master about grihasta affairs and that the answer to my question would come to me. Some Indian guests had come to a darshan with Srila Prabhupada and there was some chit-chat between them. One of the ladies gave Prabhupada a stringed flower bracelet because it was a particular day in India when sisters give to their brothers something like that to increase their longevity as a sign of love. Prabhupada put it on and at the same time he would turn the conversation from chit-chat to Krishna consciousness and the importance of them being Indians to spread Krishna consciousness. The next day when Prabhupada was on his walk, I cleaned his room and I noticed the flower bracelet, which had wilted, in Prabhupada’s garbage can. I thought, “Oh, I want to keep this as it will remind me of this wonderful room conversation and how the pure devotee was teaching all of us how to preach.” Another example of his teaching us was in Paris. We had two elderly people coming regularly to the temple, but nobody took very much time to preach to them. They weren’t going to move into the temple so we didn’t feel impelled to talk with them because we couldn’t put them up on our “scorecard” that “We made a devotee”. But Prabhupada invited both of them to sit right down in front of him while we were all in the back. Prabhupada preached to them about how they were at the last stage of their life and the importance of becoming Krishna conscious. Prabhupada was also teaching us that everybody is ready for Krishna consciousness, especially the elderly, whether they move into the temple or not. I remember one class when Prabhupada asked how much money we had spent to come to Vrindavan. I thought it was a strange question, but then we calculated how many we were and how much it cost. I think it came up to two hundred thousand dollars we had spent to come to Vrindavan. Then Prabhupada said, “This is very good use of money. Because you have come to Vrindavan, and whatever you do in Vrindavan, that is multiplied one thousand times.” One time Yamuma and I were with Srila Prabhupada at the Radha-Damodar temple in Vrindavan. I was sitting behind Yamuna and Prabhupada said to her, “I want you to come. I want all of you to come and live here.” Yamuna said, “But Prabhupada, where will we stay?” She said that because there were only four shacks and those were all occupied. He said, “You will stay in my house.” [laughs] It was obvious that Yamuna resisted his request even though it was ecstatic to be at the Radha-Damodar temple where Prabhupada had stayed for so long. Prabhupada was laughing and he said, “I am Balaram and I am dragging the Yamuna!” He got a real kick out of teasing her. But sure enough, within a few days after Prabhupada left, we moved into his house and stayed in the kitchen of his complex. Most of the devotees had left including Baradraj who was painting the deities, and his wife Rukmini who had gotten sick. Prabhupada told her to go back to the States after he finished painting the deities which further gave evidence that Prabhupada was always making sure his devotees were getting the care they needed. In Vrindavan in 1974, after the festival, there were only a few devotees present with Srila Prabhupada. An elderly Bengali couple, Vanmalini and Pranav, disciples of Prabhupada, got some personal association with him. She would offer guru puja to Prabhupada, singing and smiling, and Prabhupada would be smiling. Then on a morning walk Prabhupada would tease Pranav, “Oh, Pranav, you can’t take sannyas. You should take sannyas but you’re too attached to your wife’s cooking.” He would tease him all the time. Then on May 19th, it was Yamuna’s birthday. She was ecstatic waiting for Srila Prabhupada to return from Delhi. It was getting late and finally Madira and Yamuna started a kirtan with the five or six of us in the room. The two of them really got into chanting with their eyes were closed. I had my eyes open looking for car lights approaching, anticipating Prabhupada’s arrival. Finally I saw the lights and I was trying to tell the others but their eyes were closed. I didn’t know how to greet Prabhupada but before I knew it, there was Prabhupada standing before us with a huge smile on his face. He was so happy that they were involved in kirtan. Prabhupada came with his first disciple who was a Sanskrit scholar. Prabhupada sat down in his chair and said, “Now I want full prasad, for myself and for my guests.” And he wanted it in forty-five minutes. I thought, “Forty-five minutes? That’s impossible.” But Madira, Vanmalini and I helped Yamuna, and with the pressure cooker’s help there was full prasad; dahl, rice, subji, and chapatis cooked in forty-five minutes. Another time someone had arranged that I could go in and talk with Prabhupada. When I got in there, I didn’t have a word to say. I didn’t have a question to ask. Prabhupada was sitting there in his chair, looking around just waiting for me to say something. I was getting very uncomfortable. Then all at once I heard, “Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, and I saw Prabhupada’s face light up. I turned around and there was Krishna das Babaji, Prabhupada’s God-brother and Muni Maharaj, the one he took sannyas with. They just bubbled into the room, chanting Hare Krishna, and then Prabhupada’s face lit up. They paid their obeisances to each other, and then Prabhupada began telling them how many books were being distributed. Generally Prabhupada was so heavy and serious, but when he saw them I thought, “This is how nice it is to become elderly in Krishna consciousness, just chanting Hare Krishna and having devotee association. It was very special to see how Prabhupada interacted with his God-brothers and how loving they were toward each other. I was the pujari in Delhi when Prabhupada arrived from Vrindavan. I don’t know why but I moved the fan off the deities perhaps thinking I didn’t want Krishna’s peacock feather to fall or His hair to get messed up. I finished what I was doing and went into the darshan with Prabhupada and about six other devotees. The first thing Prabhupada said was, “Krishna is feeling hot.” I thought, “Oh my God, how does Prabhupada know?” He said something about the fan isn’t cooling or something to that effect, and then he gave a whole lecture on how Krishna, the deity, is Krishna Himself. As soon as I could, I put the fan back on Krishna. I realized Krishna is personally present with Prabhupada and speaks with him and tells him things. It was a real eye opener for me. One time in Delhi, after Shyamasundar had left, Prabhupada personally took money out and he gave it to his wife, Malati. He said, “Buy yourself a nice sari.” But he was also concerned about Shyamasundar asking questions about his well-being. Then Madira came in with her new baby, hoping to get Prabhupada to name her. Madira thought she would get the name Vrindavanisvari or some nice Vrindavan name. Prabhupada said, “She will be called Tejiyasini”, which was her husband’s name plus the ‘ini’ at the end that made it a girl’s name. What made it funny was that Madira was always at odds with her husband and I’m sure Srila Prabhupada was fully aware of that fact. The last time I saw Srila Prabhupada was in England at the Manor. He was very ill and we didn’t expect him to come downstairs from his bedroom to the temple room. To our surprise, however, the devotees carried him down on a palanquin. It was kind of a mixture of ecstasy and sadness to see Prabhupada because he was very thin and his feet were swollen. They placed him on the vyasasana for guru puja, but there was a heaviness about everything. Not a word was spoken except, “Jai, Prabhupada” over and over. Prabhupada the whole time had his hands in front of him offering his respects to the devotees as everybody was crying, including Prabhupada. Then some men carried Prabhupada backwards on the palanquin up the stairs so we could see him on his way back up to his room. I didn’t know it, but that was the last time I would see him. It was like saying goodbye. Goodbye and thank you. But Prabhupada isn’t limited to his physical body, thank goodness, because the Prabhupada I saw in person is also there when I read his books. As far as dreams are concerned, a devotee from New Vrindavan told me she said to Prabhupada, “Oh, Prabhupada, I had a dream about you.” He said, “When I am here, you take instruction from me directly, but once I have left, then I can come to you in dreams.” I have had many dreams, but one in particular was really wonderful. I must have been reading Srutakirti’s book about slipping shoes on Prabhupada’s feet, because in the dream I’m in front of a huge vyasasana, and I only see Prabhupada’s feet. I slip on one slipper, and then all at once Prabhupada leans over, looks at me and I look up. Prabhupada said to me, “Will you please buy me some nice socks?” I said, “Yes, Prabhupada” and then I slip the other shoe on and then the dream faded away. It was amazing because after that, I went to a few temples and devotees would be wearing their chaddars and socks, and then I’d see Prabhupada, the murti of Prabhupada, without socks. I would mention something to the devotees and they would say, “Oh, it’s not winter time yet.” But everyone was wearing chaddars and socks. So from my dream I realized that Prabhupada would like to have some socks too. We have to realize Prabhupada is here for us, either in his murti form or through dreams as long as we’re sincerely following his instructions. He will reciprocate with us.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 57 - Aditi dd, Ballavhi dd, Chaitanya dd, Nanda dd

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com

Following Srila Prabhupada

Interview DVD 03

Aditi: So I’d been in the temple already a year-and-a-half, and Prabhupada was coming. So I remember that Malati, Jyotir-mayi, Mandakini and myself, we stayed back, everybody else went to the airport. And I was feeling really, really badly because all the other devotees that had already met Prabhupada were on another platform and they were so excited. And Mandakini, we had to do everything. It pushed me to the point where I was kind of feeling negative, so I was feeling really bad about myself. So Prabhupada came through the door into Bury Place and Malati was first in line, then Jyotir-mayi I think, then Mandakini, and there was the temple door and I hung back to the back. So Prabhupada walked in with a big smile on his face and he gave a garland to Malati, he gave a garland to Jyotir-mayi, he gave a garland to Mandakini and then he turned to go into the temple room. So I thought, “Well, this is right because I’m such a nonsense. I don’t deserve anything from Prabhupada.” But I remember when he went into the temple room, it was late in the evening, Prabhupada offered his obeisances very deliberate and very slow and just very transcendental. Then he stood up and he just held his hands and just looked to the Deities so nicely. Then he went upstairs, and then all the devotees got back from the airport and we were all in a big room. It was either Ekadasi or it was going past midnight and it was going to become Ekadasi. So Prabhupada was giving out sweets and he gave them to each devotee, and I stood way in the back because I was feeling so badly. He kind of forced me to come. I didn’t feel right coming up, but he forced me with his hand and put it in my hand like that, he smiled and dropped it in my hand. Then there was some talk about, “Oh, it’s Ekadasi, and there is cornstarch in the icing sugar that goes into Simply Wonderfuls.” And Prabhupada, he said something like, “We are not fanatics,” and everybody took their Simply Wonderfuls.

Interview DVD 05

Aditi: I was upstairs with Himavati, and we were gluing together the peacock fan for the aratik that Prabhupada was going to do. So we were finishing up the peacock fan. I remember when it came time to offer the camphor…usually we’d put a little ghee wick and sprinkle a little bit of camphor on it. Prabhupada, he didn’t want that. He sent it back up. He wanted a big chunk. So he put a big chunk of camphor and then the big billowing camphor. We never did that because it would make black and everything. So we would be very conservative, put a few sprinkles, but he wanted a big piece. Then the fan was OK, he used the fan. I remember one lecture in Fogel Ashram Prabhupada was saying, “So my devotees, you are so many and you have spent each so much money to come here.” He was adding it all up and he was saying, “This is the right use of money,” that devotees should come every year to become inspired and then to go back and to preach. So he was encouraging devotees to come.