Manjuali devi dasi Remembers Srila Prabhupada

Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01

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Manjuali: At the end of 1971, I was in Santa Barbara when I was told that Prabhupada was going to come to Los Angeles. My friends, Dina Bandhu and Akuti, said to me, “We are going to take you to the big temple.” [laughs] I didn’t want to go to Los Angeles because I just liked the countryside. They said, “Oh no, we are going to meet Prabhupada. He is going to come.” As it turned out, Prabhupada wasn’t going to come for a couple of months, but they deposited me in Los Angeles. When Srila Prabhupada finally came to Los Angeles, the first time I saw him I actually saw his feet first. I was helping in the temple room and then there was shouting, “He’s coming!” I hit the floor and then I saw these golden feet walking by me as I got up from paying my obeisances. It was like the feet of a master and they were actually luminous. I looked up and there was Srila Prabhupada walking like a nobleman who walked with purpose and with grace. I was able to have Prabhupada’s association a few times. The first time obviously was when I got initiated. I was initiated in 1972 on Nrsimhadeva’s Appearance Day. He gave me the name Manjuali devi dasi and then he looked at me and said, “Gopi name.” Three months later on Balaram’s Appearance Day, they needed help in the kitchen, so I got brahmana initiation, which was my first opportunity to be able to speak with Srila Prabhupada. The quality that Srila Prabhupada exhibited at that moment was patience because I was so nervous. I was trying to do the Gayatri and he looked at me and said, “Not on the cracks!” [laughs] I was shaking as he went through with me a few times the Gayatri mantra and how you touch the different digits of the fingers with the thumb. I finally got it after a few tries, but Prabhupada’s quality of patience definitely manifested that day. The next time I had association with Srila Prabhupada was when I got married. In 1972 I was a brahmacarini and had been in the ashram for ten months. I was asked to get married and I had twenty-four hours to make up my mind. [laughs] Seven days later I was married to Jayatirtha who was the temple president at that time. Srila Prabhupada invited us to come to his rooms after the wedding ceremony that was held in the garden of Dayananda and Nandarani. It was held in their garden instead of the temple because Srila Prabhupada was upset that many of his married disciples who made their vows in front of the Deities were breaking their commitment. A few weeks after the wedding, Prabhupada gave a lecture and he talked about his own marriage. He had some attraction to one particular woman, but his father chose the one that was a little less attractive. The idea was that a beautiful wife was the enemy to the husband because she might distract him from his spiritual endeavors. And then a few days later we came to meet Srila Prabhupada in his garden in Los Angeles. Prabhupada was sitting on his asana in the early afternoon when we entered with a plate of prasad. Srila Prabhupada looked up at me, looked at Jayatirtha, and then again looked at me. He said, “Oh, she is beautiful.” I went, “Oh, my God. I’m an enemy already.” [laughs] And then he smiled this oceanic smile like he was just being a loving father. I gave him the plate of prasad, and then we sat down in the back of the garden, and he said, “No, no, come closer, come closer.” We moved in closer right next to Srila Prabhupada and he was so full of affection. Prabhupada had already had his lunch prasadam before we arrived, so he just took the drink I had made. He savored it and then looked over at Jayatirtha and said, “And she can cook!” [laughs] I went, “Shwwoo,” and thought to myself, “At least I can do something. [laughs] By your grace, Srila Prabhupada.” Then he asked so lovingly, “So what do your parents think of this Krishna consciousness?” I rang my mother a couple of days before the wedding and said, “Oh, by the way, mum, I’m getting married on Saturday.” She asked, “Can I come?” I said, “Of course,” and we bought her a ticket from Chicago to Los Angeles. She didn’t come into the garden with us nor did Jayatirtha’s parents who also attended the ceremony. I told Srila Prabhupada that my mother was very favorable and respectful and that when she washed her dishes she would chant Hare Krishna. She was a Catholic, but she liked to chant. My mother had given me a check for the wedding of fifty dollars, and so I presented Prabhupada with my dowry. [laughs] That very check eventually came back to me because my mother saved it with his signature on the back of it from October 1, 1972, paid to the account of A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. The quality Srila Prabhupada exhibited in that moment was of a loving father with a sense of humor. I think Prabhupada spoke to me in such a caring mood because he knew Jayatirtha and I rarely spoke with each other except when I would ask him a question like “What color are the Deities wearing tomorrow?” Our marriage was like a marriage in India when the couple gets married without ever even seeing the other person. That is the reason Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Affection comes through service. If Krishna is in the center, your marriage will be successful.” He could tell that this was a big surrender on my part, but he was so loving, and I can still see his smile and still feel his affection and his blessing. He could see what the journey ahead would be. I had no clue, but I knew that it was Srila Prabhupada’s gift and it would be good for my spiritual life. In 1976 George Harrison was visiting the Bhaktivedanta Manor and he was able to have a darshan with Srila Prabhupada upstairs in Prabhupada’s bedroom. We were called up because Prabhupada wanted prasadam for George and he asked me to make samosas for him. I used to do that when George previously came to the Manor. At this time Prabhupada wanted us to serve George lunch in his bedroom because Prabhupada wasn’t very well that day, and so he met with George and some senior disciples from his bed. The bed with all of its pillows and white sheets made it appear that Prabhupada was riding a swan or as if his bed was a palanquin. George came in and sat on the floor, but Prabhupada said, “No, sit on the chair.” George said, “No, no, no,” and Prabhupada said, “Sit on the chair,” with a firmer voice. [laughs] George obeyed and sat on that little white chair that was in the corner in Srila Prabhupada’s bedroom. Prabhupada then instructed us to lay out sheets on the floor along with the plates and to serve out the lunch, which consisted of samosas, tomato chutney and strawberry nectar. Prabhupada wasn’t eating, but he did have a drink and held his little finger up in the air as he drank. [laughs] Prabhupada was having a lively conversation with George and all the devotees, and I was impressed with Srila Prabhupada’s magnanimity. He wasn’t feeling well, but he was still preaching from his bed. Just like at the end of his time with us, with his last breath he was preaching. The lesson I learned is that even if I don’t feel well, I’m not going to have the day off. No days off. [laughs] I witnessed Srila Prabhupada’s affection for George, which was really tangible and present in the way he ordered him to sit in his chair. Generally, you don’t sit in the guru’s chair, [laughs] but George surrendered because Prabhupada was so loving and forceful. One day in 1976 I was going to clean Prabhupada’s quarters at the Bhaktivedanta Manor, and unbeknownst to me, he had already returned from his morning walk. I was racing in the door with two vases in my hand to get them on his desk, and as I looked up, Prabhupada was chanting his Gayatri mantra. I was startled and said, “Oh, my gosh.” [laughs] He looked at me, and with his head he nodded at me, giving me permission to enter and put the vases down. Srila Prabhupada taught me at that moment to just calm down—do your service—permission granted. I realized that it is important in our spiritual life to have moments when we hit the pause button, reflect, calm down, and be present in the moment, and to not act in fear like a rabbit in front of the car lights. Krishna Kanti prabhu was the engineer for a recording of Srila Prabhupada at Golden Avatar Studios in Los Angeles, and everybody wanted to be part of it. [laughs] Jayatirtha loved to sing, but he wasn’t much of a mridanga or kartal player, and I remember he came home that day quite mortified because, while he was playing the kartals during the recording, Prabhupada told him to stop because he was playing off beat. Prabhupada was so musically in tune that everything had to fit together, and if there was anything not to perfection, then Prabhupada would actually chastise that devotee. But Prabhupada did it as a teaching lesson. By the grace of Srila Prabhupada in 1975, he instructed my husband to bring me to India for the opening of the Krishna-Balaram temple for Janmastami. It didn’t open at that time, but Prabhupada told Jayatirtha, “Bring your wife.” [laughs] Shock. When we got to Delhi, we met up with Tejiyas and his wife, Madhira, who had opened the temple there. It was a tiny temple with no other women there and Tejiyas’ office became Prabhupada’s quarters. Madhira invited me to help her cook, and as we were making Srila Prabhupada’s lunch, he was playing the harmonium and singing the entire time songs of Narottama das Thakura, Bhaktivinode Thakura and Krsnadas Kaviraja. Prabhupada was doing his bhajan, his spiritual practice, as he was home in mother India and he was just glorifying the masters. I’ll never forget that time of cooking and not having a tape on, or a cassette, or a record player in the background, but actually our spiritual master was singing to Krishna and to Mahaprabhu the glories of the Goswamis, the glories of Krishna consciousness. That was a huge gift that I’ll never forget. When Prabhupada came in 1977 to Bhaktivedanta Manor, it was such a challenging time because Prabhupada was so unwell and he was so weak. When he came, Jayatirtha and everyone took him upstairs on the palanquin, and when he got off of the palanquin, he stood up and he hugged Jayatirtha. Tears were running down Prabhupada’s eyes, and he said, “I have come for your tirtha.” They were both sobbing. Prabhupada could see the future. Prabhupada could see that there were challenges ahead for Jayatirtha. But Prabhupada had so much love and kindness and mercy and affection that he came and hugged Jayatirtha, and Prabhupada cried in his arms. Most devotees know that Jayatirtha had a breakdown or whatever happened to him. It was a huge part of the drama like Mahabharata where nothing went smoothly. He did love Srila Prabhupada even though at the end he was a broken man who had mental and physical challenges. He was twenty-nine years old, the day after Prabhupada left, when he became a guru. He and the others were just young children trying to be honorable and follow a giant, a saktyavesa-avatar of Nityananda Prabhu, Srila Prabhupada. I was consciously looking for a guru before I met Srila Prabhupada, and I had studied many traditions. I knew that there was a reason for this human incarnation, so I was on the road looking. What attracted me to Srila Prabhupada at first was the fact that he set clear boundaries for devotees to live in the community. I thought that was noble. Prabhupada invited us to love God. He invited us to do this process and follow his example and he lived it. I felt he had my best interest at heart. He was noble and he was a warrior because he had a very short window to do an amazing piece of work. Srila Prabhupada met his spiritual master in 1923 at the age of twenty-seven, and when he was seventy years old, he actually started doing the work. I think, “Oh, gosh, I’m seventy, and how can I have the energy to do what Prabhupada did?” And that’s because Srila Prabhupada, I firmly believe, was empowered by Lord Krishna and by the lineage of Mahaprabhu, by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta, to be the one to bring this grace to the western countries and to touch us in a way that is miraculous. And he still encourages us every day and that’s the message of Srila Prabhupada as well. His presence isn’t just his physical presence because every day that we sit down and chant our japa, Prabhupada’s presence is there. Every day we open a book and read a sloka, our heads bowing in gratitude. He always signed his letters, “Your ever well-wisher,” and he is our true ever well-wisher.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 68 - Manjuali dd, Ravi, Tamohara, Basu Ghosh

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com

Following Srila Prabhupada

Interview DVD 03

Manjuali: All the devotees were coming back from the airport, and I remember meeting Prabhupada’s feet before meeting Prabhupada. I just remember him walking by as he was coming into the temple room and just seeing his feet walking. And I just remember that there was so much light around his feet, and I could see Prabhupada as a great huge being because I was looking up from the floor at him. That’s etched in my mind, that wonderful memory of just seeing his effulgent feet and then kind of working my way up from the feet up to his golden smile. A couple of days a week you were at the incense factory, a couple of days you were on sankirtan, and then between that and cooking offerings and distributing books as well, you were running all the time, there was a schedule all the time, there was always something to do. Your life was full of Krishna, of service. But I think one of the biggest joys for me was the sense of community, the sense that you had Prabhupada at the center, that you were all working for a common goal, you were all spiritual pilgrims really on a path together, sharing prasadam together and multi-tasking. It was exciting, it was really, really exciting, the kirtans. I remember you’d run home and throw off your thing, you’d take a shower, and then you’d run to arati and then you’d dance your heart out and sing and dance your heart out. Then there’d be a class and you’d do garlands or something to stay awake. Then you’d put the Deities to sleep, and then you’d get everything ready for the morning, and then you’d get your few hours. And the next day would come and you have your Deity worship or cooking your offerings, and life was so full. We had so much energy then too, and we were totally focused on doing what we were doing. So there was this big temple, which was the biggest temple when I joined in ISKCON. I think there were 75 devotees there then, and that was massive. New Dwaraka was the hub of book publishing, the BBT headquarters was in New Dwaraka. Prabhupada said “print books” was one of the core services of the ISKCON movement; and here in New Dwaraka it was an opulent temple, beautiful Deities, but it was a very effervescent community, very sparkly, and it was driven by our desire to please Srila Prabhupada. I think when Prabhupada came, it was like God was coming, Krishna was Himself coming, and all the stops were pulled out. You were up for days and nights just making sure that everything was really done as pucca as possible. And I think in some way Prabhupada, when he came, he appreciated our enthusiasm and our dedication, and it was an absolutely rich experience. I’m very thankful I had all those years.

Interview DVD 09

Manjuali: The 1st of October 1972 was when I got married to Jayatirtha. This was the first marriage in New Dwaraka that we didn’t actually get married in the temple room because some devotees were getting married and not taking their vows seriously, and Prabhupada was getting a little disturbed about that because they were getting married and then they were leaving the movement or they were leaving their partner. So Jayatirtha had been married once before and his partner had left, and so Prabhupada said, “You can get married but not in the temple.” So we got married in Nandarani and Dayananda’s garden down the road on Watseka, and there were three couples that got married at the same time. So we invited Prabhupada to come because he was in New Dwaraka. Prabhupada wasn’t feeling that well that day so he didn’t come, but he said to bring him prasadam. So we had the wedding, and then Jayatirtha and I went in to see Srila Prabhupada in the garden. So I came in my pink sari, tied together as one is, straight off the fire sacrifice. We came in, and we had the prasadam and everything. Prabhupada was giving all these lectures, I just remember, about a beautiful wife is the enemy to the husband. Prabhupada had a wicked sense of humor, though. So I was bringing the plate in and we had all the gopi dots on, everything was in order, all beautifully attired. Prabhupada was sitting on his chair in the garden, and Prabhupada looked up and he said, “Oh, she is beautiful,” and then he winked at me. And I thought, “Oh, no, I’m already an enemy!” I didn’t say that, that’s what I thought. Then Prabhupada said, “Come, come, sit down.” So we brought him the plate of prasadam, and then he took the drink and it was an almond drink. He took a sip of it, and I can still remember with his little finger up in the air, you know how Prabhupada did with his silver goblet. Then he looked down at the plate and then he said, “And she can cook!” Then he started to move his head from side to side like “accha,” but it was just the sense of humor Prabhupada had at that really important day in my life. It was just so warm and loving, and it was like he was my father. Get the Deities ready and all, and then the frankincense and myrrh was billowing up, and then the temple room was ready and Govinda Prayers start and the doors open, and Prabhupada just kind of swanned in with so much dignity and majesty. Then he would pay his obeisances to the Deities, and it was extraordinary when you were a pujari and he would be there and you would be doing your arati but totally conscious that Prabhupada was right behind you as well. What an honor it was. It was something that I absolutely loved, dressing the Deities, and actually every aspect of Deity worship was something that I just kind of fell into and it became natural. One day Prabhupada came and he was standing by the Deities, I could just see out of the corner when I turned around, and he was really looking at Krishna. I really felt that he was seeing Krishna because of course he was seeing Krishna, and we believed he was seeing Krishna as well. So then he gave class and we did the offerings because it was a matter of cooking and pujari work, and word came down, “Prabhupada wants to see you.” I thought, “Oh, gosh, Prabhupada never asked to see me before.” This was the first time, “Prabhupada wants to see you immediately,” and I thought, “Oh, gosh, what have I done?” So I took the apron off and went upstairs, and Prabhupada was sitting there on his asana. I went in and offered my obeisances to Srila Prabhupada, and there he was. I remember he just had a gamcha on, it was massage time, and there was a window behind Srila Prabhupada’s asana in his room and the morning light was coming through. I don’t know if it was diffused light, but I remember he actually looked golden. And he was smiling at me when I came in. Srutakirti was there and he sat down and, “So, you have dressed the Deities?” And he was saying, “Krishna is looking very beautiful. Thank you so much.” I said, “Thank you, Srila Prabhupada, because Krishna wouldn’t be here without you.” And then he said, “Oh, thank you so much. You are doing very nicely.” He was just so merciful. Then he said, “Always serve Krishna and this life will be perfect, and the next will be perfect because you’ll go back to Godhead.” So that was the nutshell. So simple. Then he waved over to Srutakirti and he said, “Give me my purse.” Then he dips his hand into his purse and takes out twenty dollars, which in 1975 was quite a lot of money, and he hands me the twenty dollars and then he said, “This is for the Deity worship.” I said, “Oh, we’ll use this for the new outfit, Srila Prabhupada,” and he said, “Very good. Very good.” And he said, “Continue as you are. You are doing very well.” I just thanked him for the opportunity to do the service. And here I was kind of lamenting because I never got to have much personal service for Srila Prabhupada in the sense of being in the inner circle. Actually that was just a fallacy really because in doing whatever we were doing we were in the inner circle, and it wasn’t about externals. It was about just being present and doing our service. And Prabhupada, he was just reaching out, and that was so wonderful. Having that little intimate exchange for that few minutes has been one of the gifts that Prabhupada has given me.