Bhakti Caru Swami Remembers Srila Prabhupada

Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01

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Bhakti Caru Swami: A middle-aged, well-to-do Indian businessman challenged Srila Prabhupada, “Why are you building new temples when there are so many old temples in need of renovation and repair?” Srila Prabhupada didn’t answer the question directly. Instead he asked that gentleman, “Who is that lady sitting next to you?” The man said, “She’s my wife.” Prabhupada asked, “Why did you get married?” The man got flabbergasted and couldn’t answer, so Prabhupada answered, “You got married because you wanted to have children. But why have children when there are so many children loitering in the streets? Just as you want to have your own child, similarly a devotee wants to build a temple, install the Deity, and offer the temple to Krishna.” One morning Hari Sauri prabhu was massaging Prabhupada on the roof of Prabhupada’s quarters in Mayapur. I went there and read to Srila Prabhupada the replies he had dictated to his letters. Prabhupada listened carefully, signed the letters, and then continued his massage. Since Prabhupada had signed the letters I should have left, but instead I just sat there watching Srila Prabhupada have his massage. Prabhupada addressed me. He said, “For many lifetimes you tried to enjoy in this material world, but you’re still not satisfied. So, just offer this life to Krishna, and don’t get involved with any woman.” He explained the futility of man-woman relationships and how sex desire is the chain that binds us in the material world. We are imprisoned in the material world due to sex desire. In this way, Srila Prabhupada spoke for about thirty or forty-five minutes. When I left, I felt that Prabhupada wanted me to become a sannyasi. One morning Srila Prabhupada wanted orange juice. There were no oranges in Prabhupada’s kitchen, so I went to the Deity kitchen and to the devotee kitchen, but there were no oranges there either. Then I went to the fruit shop to buy oranges. In those days, there were no shops in front of our temple, so I had to go quite a long distance. I finally came back with the oranges and started juicing them, when Prabhupada rang his bell. Srila Prabhupada called us by ringing a bell. I ran to Srila Prabhupada’s room, and he asked me, “What happened to the orange juice?” I said, “Srila Prabhupada, I’m just making it.” I went back and continued, but it took me some time to finish. Prabhupada rang his bell again, but this time he rang it continuously. He kept pressing the bell, and by its sound I could understand that Srila Prabhupada was angry. I finished making the orange juice, put it in Prabhupada’s silver cup, put the cup on his silver plate, and rushed into Prabhupada’s room. But as I opened the door, I heard something that sounded like a thunderbolt. Prabhupada said, “Take it away. I don’t want it. Get out of here.” But I couldn’t get out. I kept moving towards Srila Prabhupada holding the plate with the glass of juice on it. I came before Srila Prabhupada and held it in front of him. For some time Srila Prabhupada didn’t pick up the glass. Finally, he picked it up and started to drink. Then I realized that I forgot to bring the bowl of water that Prabhupada would need to wash his mouth after drinking the juice. I ran to the kitchen, got the bowl of water, and brought it to Srila Prabhupada. When Prabhupada was washing his mouth with that water, I remembered that I hadn’t brought a napkin for Prabhupada to wipe his face. This time I didn’t run to the kitchen, but went to Prabhupada’s wardrobe, pulled out a towel, and gave it to Srila Prabhupada. Then Prabhupada told me, “You try to serve me nicely, but I always chastise you. When one becomes old, one becomes short-tempered, so please don’t mind.” When Srila Prabhupada chastised me, I didn’t feel bad, but when he started to speak like that, my heart broke. I tried to say, “Please don’t speak like that, Prabhupada,” but my voice was choked. Prabhupada continued speaking on that note, and I finally managed to say, “Prabhupada, please don’t speak like that. I make mistakes, and if you don’t correct me, then what will happen to me?” That was one time when Srila Prabhupada chastised me heavily. Prabhupada was happy with the Gurukula building in Vrindavan, and after it was inaugurated he used to tell people about it when they came for darshan. Once, one of the biggest industrialists in India, Jayadayal Dalmia, along with his two daughters-in-law and their children, came to see Srila Prabhupada. Mr. Dalmia, an old man, was pious. Srila Prabhupada told him about the Gurukula education system and asked him to send his grandchildren to the Gurukula. Prabhupada explained that the modern educational system was simply meant for creating sudras, people who could get a job. “But,” Prabhupada said, “Your grandchildren do not need to get a job. They should become the leaders of society, and that’s why you should send them to the Gurukula. Indira Gandhi’s sons, Nehru’s grandchildren, come from an aristocratic, noble family, but they have become rascals and rogues. Do you want your grandchildren to become like that? No. Train them to become the real leaders of the society.” Later on I got to know Mr. Dalmia’s son, the father of one of the boys that was there that day. He told me that his father was so convinced by Srila Prabhupada that he was planning to send his grandson, Abhiseka Dalmia, to the Gurukula. Although Abhiseka didn’t go to the Gurukula, he has a sikha. Srila Prabhupada’s preaching was so potent that one of the richest men in India was considering sending his grandson to Gurukula. Just a few days before Srila Prabhupada left the planet, two prominent Indian gentlemen came to see him. One was Sriman Narayana, the Governor of Madras, and the other was his brother-in-law, Rama Krishna Bajaj, a big industrialist. At one point, they said that they wanted to discuss something with Srila Prabhupada privately, and Prabhupada asked us to leave the room. We left the room, although we didn’t want to, but while leaving I pressed the recording button on the tape recorder. These two men asked Prabhupada, “Who will continue your legacy after you leave the planet? Who will become your successor?” Prabhupada said, “I am giving the legacy to all my disciples, all my followers, and whoever follows will have the legacy.” Then those two realized that the tape recorder was on and they asked Prabhupada if they could switch it off. After that I don’t think they had any serious discussion. Srila Prabhupada made it clear that whoever follows him has his legacy. Prabhupada didn’t want to appoint a successor as such. One morning in Vrindavan, Srila Prabhupada asked me to prepare two varieties of spinach, green and red, as well as pumpkin, radish, eggplant, and bitter melon. I went to Prabhupada’s kitchen, the Deity kitchen, and the devotee kitchen, but there was no spinach. Someone told me that it was the month of spinach fast, so I told Prabhupada, “It is chaturmasya, and this month we fast from spinach.” Prabhupada asked, “Is everyone observing chaturmasya?” I got the message and I went to the market to buy everything. When I came back I told Prabhupada, “Prabhupada, I got everything.” Prabhupada asked me, “What did you get?” I said, “Prabhupada, I got two varieties of spinach, eggplant, pumpkin, and radish.” Then I remembered that I forgot to get bitter melon. It was stupid of me, but I lied to Prabhupada. I said “I also got bitter melon.” I thought I’d arrange to get the bitter melon later. Prabhupada said, “Bring them.” I ran out. At that time there was an employee in the guesthouse named Kishan. I gave him some money and said, “Go to the market and get some bitter melon.” I thought he’d take ten or fifteen minutes, and in the meantime I went to the kitchen and started to prepare. Kishan came back and said, “There is no bitter melon in the market.” I knew that there was no bitter melon in any of the temple kitchens also. I felt as if the whole world was crumbling down on me. I was praying to Krishna, “Please save me. Now I have to go and tell Prabhupada that I lied to him, that I forgot to bring bitter melon.” I was thinking, “Prabhupada is going to get annoyed with me, and who knows what kind of chastisement I’ll get.” I was so dazed that instead of taking the usual passage next to the temple to Prabhupada’s kitchen, I started to go through the Gurukula building, and there on the balcony of the Gurukula was a green bitter melon. I pounced on it and ran, thanking Krishna in every possible way. Prabhupada was taking his massage when I went into his room with all the vegetables. He told me how to cut them, and finally I said, “Prabhupada, and the bitter melon?” Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Bitter melon?” Just the way Srila Prabhupada said ‘bitter melon,’ convinced me beyond any doubt that Prabhupada knew what had happened. Prabhupada had taught to me to cook a dish called badi charchari. It’s made with patals, potatoes, and lots of ghee and red chili. One day, Prabhupada asked me to cook that dish. At that time Prabhupada’s stomach was not very good, and I felt that he shouldn’t eat red chili. When Prabhupada took a bite of my char-chari that had no red chili, he became angry. He said, “I personally taught you how to cook this dish, and you have forgotten.” For the next two days, whenever I went near him he blasted me, and whoever else went to him heard how useless I was. On the third day, when Prabhupada’s anger had subsided to some extent, Prabhupada asked me, “How could you forget when I personally taught you?” I said, “Prabhupada, I didn’t actually forget. I deliberately didn’t put red chili in it, because I thought your stomach was not good and it would not be good for you.” Prabhupada said, “Why didn’t you tell me before?” Then he said that ghee is hot and chili is hot. When there is a lot of ghee and a lot of chili, they counteract each other. What touched my heart the most was Prabhupada’s concern for everyone. Prabhupada was strict, but at the same time he was compassionate and concerned. For example, for at least two months before he passed away, Prabhupada wasn’t eating anything. Occasionally he took some fruit juice and a little diluted milk, but regularly he would inquire, “How are the devotees eating? How is the devotee prasad?” One day Prabhupada asked me to check out the devotee prasad. I came back and told him that the prasad was not so nice. Prabhupada called the temple president and chastised him. He asked, “Why is the prasadam not nice?” He hadn’t eaten for two months, but he was concerned about how the devotees were eating. We were living in Srila Prabhupada’s servants’ quarters on the top floor of the tower in Juhu, Bombay. One day a senior God-brother was annoyed with me and was chastising me heavily. I was quite sensitive, and I was feeling bad that he chastised me. When I went to Srila Prabhupada, Prabhupada said, “The sign of one’s spiritual advancement is not the big position one has. The real sign of advancement is how humble and how tolerant one has become.” That instruction took away all my heaviness of heart. I often remember that instruction. The sign of our advancement is not in our position but in how humble and tolerant we have become. When Prabhupada first went to Mayapur with his American disciples, they drove straight to our ISKCON land there without stopping at the Gaudiya Math, Chaitanya Math, or Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur’s Samadhi. Some of Prabhupada’s God-brothers commented, “He didn’t even stop at his spiritual master’s samadhi.” When Prabhupada was told that they were speaking like that he commented, “Do they think that I am ever separated from my spiritual master, even for a moment? My spiritual master is always with me.” That is how a disciple should be conscious of his spiritual master. The spiritual master is the external manifestation of the Supersoul. When a devotee attains perfection, he always considers his spiritual master to be present with him by his words of instruction. Srila Prabhupada felt that his spiritual master, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur, was always seeing his activities and was guiding him within his heart by his words. Similarly, the more we become Krishna conscious, the more we make spiritual advancement, the more we will hear Srila Prabhupada’s guidance. The benefit of being in ISKCON is that everywhere we can feel Srila Prabhupada’s presence. We can see Prabhupada in the temples he established or inspired, in the Deity worship he guided, in his books, or in his followers. Everything has come from Srila Prabhupada’s instructions and personal example, and that’s what is protecting us from the onslaughts of illusion and is pushing us towards our ultimate destination, Krishna’s lotus feet. Once I told Srila Prabhupada, “I’d like to learn Sanskrit.” Prabhupada asked me, “Why? What’s the use?” I gave him different reasons, and Prabhupada smashed all of them. Finally he said, “Our business is not to become a Sanskrit scholar. There are so many Sanskrit scholars, but what are they doing? Our main business is to preach Krishna consciousness all over the world. With whatever ability, whatever qualifications we have, we should try to preach Krishna consciousness.” Prabhupada was planning to go on parikrama of Govardhan Hill, but I felt that Prabhupada was actually planning for his final departure. I told Babaji Maharaj what I felt, and he said, “We can’t let him go.” I said, “Babaji Maharaj, the only person who can convince Prabhupada not to go is you.” Babaji Maharaj was so humble, he said, “Me? How I can tell him?” I said, “You are the only person who can convince him.” Then Babaji Maharaj got up, washed his hands and mouth, walked up to Srila Prabhupada, and said, “I heard everything, and I feel that you should not go on parikrama.” Prabhupada said, “Babaji Maharaj, if you say so, then I will not go.” At that time, we took it for granted that Prabhupada had come to Vrindavan to leave his body. Tamal Krishna Maharaj told me, “We don’t really know what to do if Prabhupada leaves his body. You go and find out what to do from Krishna das Babaji Maharaj.” Later that afternoon, I went to Madhav Maharaj’s Math, where Krishna das Babaji Maharaj was staying, but Maharaj was not there. I waited for him for a while and then returned. When I came back, Upendra Prabhu, who was Prabhupada’s servant at that time, told me that Prabhupada was looking for me. I ran into Prabhupada’s room and asked him whether he wanted me to do anything. Prabhupada asked, “Where did you go? Where were you?” I said, “Prabhupada, I went to Madhav Maharaj’s Math.” Prabhupada asked, “Why did you go there?” His voice was ringing with anger. I couldn’t answer. How could I say why I went there? I was silent, and Prabhupada’s voice kept on rising, “Why did you go there?” Finally I said, “Prabhupada, I went to see Krishna das Babaji Maharaj.” Prabhupada became angrier. He asked, “Why did you go there?” I said, “Prabhupada, Tamal Krishna Maharaj wanted me to go there.” Prabhupada said, “Oh, I see,” and became quiet. From that I learned a lesson, that Prabhupada didn’t want us to go out to anybody. Although he had a good relationship with Krishna das Babaji Maharaj, still he didn’t want us to go to him. Later on I learned that Prabhupada said, “If they say one thing different from me, then everything will be spoiled.” That’s why Prabhupada didn’t want us to go anywhere. He was like a caring father who was protecting us from danger.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 20 - Jadurani dasi, Giriraja Swami, Bhakti Caru Swami

Interview 02

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Bhakti Caru Swami: In spite of being the world acharya, Srila Prabhupada was humble. Once in Amsterdam, when Prabhupada was about to give initiation, the devotees hadn’t organized things properly and were making mistakes at every step. Prabhupada was getting increasingly annoyed and when he saw that the sacrificial altar had no fruits on it, he was further disappointed. One devotee ran to the kitchen, cut some fruits and gave the fruit to Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada got still more upset because such fruits are supposed to be uncut. A hippie who used to come to the temple regularly was present, and he had noticed that whenever someone became upset, the devotees would tell that person, “Why don’t you chant Hare Krishna?” When this hippie saw that Prabhupada was agitated, he told Prabhupada, “Why don’t you chant Hare Krishna?” Prabhupada quietly took his bead bag and started to chant.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 37 - Umapati S, Sacinandana S., BCS., Narada Muni, Dindayadri, Vaiyasaki

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com

Following Srila Prabhupada

Interview DVD 11

Bhakti Caru Swami: When we arrived in Rishikesh, one of the first things Prabhupada wanted was to drink some water. So somebody gave him some water from the tap and Prabhupada said, “Did I come to Rishikesh to drink tap water?” So I just ran down to the river and got some water from the Ganges, and Prabhupada was very pleased to drink that straight from the river. Those days I was a brahmacari, I just got initiated a couple of months ago, and Prabhupada was very restful there. We were just a handful of devotees. One day I was cooking, and Prabhupada decided to teach us how to cook. He first asked me to cut the vegetables, and then he showed also how to cook basmati rice. The rice was just mixed with ghee, and Prabhupada told me not to even wash the rice, and then put it on the fire. And when the rice was cooked, every single grain was separate. And Prabhupada showed how to make the chapatis. One day was Ekadasi, and somehow we were not careful and we broke the Ekadasi. We took some grain for breakfast, and then we realized that it was Ekadasi. So I went and told Prabhupada. Prabhupada’s immediate reaction was “So, what can be done? You broke it, you took the grain.” But then he got very annoyed. He said, “Then what’s the point in having a pandit with us if he can’t even tell us when is the Ekadasi?” And Prabhupada said then observe the Ekadasi the next day. Although he didn’t break the fast, but Prabhupada that day also took grains with us. That shows his compassion for his disciples. So everything was very wonderful in Rishikesh, and Prabhupada was very restful and we were having a wonderful time. Then all of a sudden one day there was this huge storm, and it looked so ominous. It was not only heavy rain but there was a storm, and the storm made some electric poles topple over in some place and electric supply got disrupted. And it became very cold also – cold, rainy and wind. And it was very eerie, ominous. In those days, I used to attend Srila Prabhupada from twelve to two. And it was around one o’clock Prabhupada just called me and he told me that “The time has come for me to die, and I want to die in Vrindavan. So make arrangements to take me to Vrindavan.” And it was such a shock as if it was a bolt from the blue. So that night only we packed everything up, and we decided to leave the next morning. When Prabhupada arrived, the devotees were so happy. And when Prabhupada went to his room, all the devotees came in and there Prabhupada broke the news why he came. And I remember in a flash of a moment, their ecstasy was transformed into agony. Devotees started to cry. And understanding their feelings, Srila Prabhupada then started to console the devotees by explaining about the futility of our material existence. He quoted the verse dehino’smin yatha dehe, that it is just a matter of transmigrating from one body to another. Prabhupada called me when all the devotees left and he told me, “From now on, don’t cook for me. Don’t force me to eat anything.” He said, “What’s the use of eating when there is no appetite?” And I felt that Prabhupada is actually stopping to eat and drink like Pariksit Maharaj preparing to leave his body.