Yogindra Vandana das Remembers Srila Prabhupada

Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01

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Yogindra-vandana: At one point I was having a lot of doubts. I was still selling Spiritual Sky incense, but I was a brahmacari agitated by sexual desire. I was thinking if I have to be a brahmacari, I’ve got to do something that is better for brahmacari life. I realized my doubts were not with Prabhupada, Krishna or the philosophy, but in myself because I knew I had a long way to go to cultivate divine qualities. At this time Srila Prabhupada was with us in Dallas, and he gave a Caitanya-caritamrta class while I was stuck to the floor with my own self-absorption and doubts, hoping Prabhupada could relieve my distress. At one point he was speaking about taking shelter of Radha Madan-Mohan, and when questions and answers came, I thought, “Well, I’m not going to get a chance any other way to meet with Prabhupada, so I better take the opportunity to ask a question.” But at the same time, I didn’t want to expose my ignorance or false ego too much. [laughs] I felt like I was stuck in suspended animation as I couldn’t get anything out of my mouth. Just then Srila Prabhupada literally turned his head to me as I was close to his vyasasan and he said, “Yes?” I said, “Srila Prabhupada, what do you mean by ‘Just take shelter of Radha Madan-Mohan?’ Do you mean just take shelter of the Deities?" Srila Prabhupada went on to quote that famous verse from the Seventh Canto of Srimad-Bhagavatam that Prahlad Maharaj speaks: sravanam kirtanam visnoh smaranam pada-sevanam arcanam vandanam dasyam sakhyam atma-nivedanam [SB 7.5.23–24] He quoted the whole verse very nicely and then he said, “The lotus feet of the Lord are non-different from devotional service, so take shelter of any one of these nine processes, at least one of them.” Immediately my doubts left my heart, and I felt secure in my position. I thought, “I can go home. I don’t have to go out and sell incense. I can simply chant Hare Krishna and be a brahmacari.” But after a couple of months of doing that I again went out and sold Spiritual Sky incense. [laughs] Another time on the farm in New Talavan Prabhupada was talking about the cows and machinery. I always had an aspiration to do something like Swarup Damodar and some of the other disciples where they would play devil’s advocate, or Prabhupada would play devil’s advocate with them. I wanted to do that, but didn’t want to be misunderstood because I was just Yogindra das, the brahmacari, and I didn’t want people to think that I was arguing with Prabhupada about something. But at the same time, I wanted to play that role of a materialist and Prabhupada had been talking about the cows and machinery. So, I took the opportunity to ask Prabhupada a question on that walk, and I said, “Srila Prabhupada, you say that the cows are more important than machinery. But after the cows have done their work, you have to feed them, you have to care for them, and all of that means time and labor and expense. Whereas the tractor, we just park it and turn it off.” Prabhupada turned and looked at me and just like a father said, “Yes, but the cow is your mother. The bull is your father.” That love impressed me in that it was more about the soul than just innate matter. There was a person trapped in that body and that body had been given a dharma and an important dharma. Prabhupada was teaching us on every level of life, so that was a learning experience for me.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 64 - The New Talavan Clan +3

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com