Tejiyas: People from all over America had come to see Prabhupada and Prabhupada started describing the Life Membership program. He said, “We have introduced this Life Membership program in India and America. In India it costs 1,111 rupees, and when they become a member we give them an entire set of books. This is a very good business,” and Prabhupada laughed. A lot of the devotees were young and not all of them understood Prabhupada’s humor. Prabhupada said, “We give them 500 rupees of books and we take 1,000 rupees. Very good business” and he exploded in laughter. He continued, “Then they invite us to their homes and give us a feast. In this way, we are eating our way back to Godhead, very good business.” Prabhupada laughed again and then everyone laughed. That was my first meeting with Srila Prabhupada—I saw his precise intelligence, his wit, his enormous humor, how he would teach with his humor, and how he was a highly developed manager and organizer.
Srila Prabhupada told a story about people in Spain who said it was an accident that Columbus discovered America—since he never intended to do it he shouldn’t be glorified for it. In every way they discredited Columbus. When this was brought before the Queen, Columbus said, “It wasn’t an accident.” So the Queen posed a challenge: “Whoever can answer this challenge should get the credit. Without any extraneous devices, make an egg stand on its end.” Everyone thought of different ways to get an egg to stand on end. When the others had finished, Columbus boiled the egg, tapped its end, and stood it up. Everyone protested but the Queen understood that Columbus was intelligent and he got the credit. Prabhupada told this story in relation to his God-brothers being envious of him and not wanting him to have credit for spreading Krishna consciousness. Even now people say, “It was really Lord Chaitanya who spread Krishna consciousness throughout the world.” It’s audacious and impersonal to say this, although in his humility and meekness, Prabhupada also said the same thing. He would say, “Everything that has happened is the mercy of Lord Chaitanya. It is all the kindness of my spiritual master. My spiritual master has sent me all of you to help me.” When Prabhupada said that, you knew he had no false ego. But at the same time, amazingly, Prabhupada knew who he was. It’s almost impossible to understand this—except from the position of pure devotional service.
Srila Prabhupada was asked, “Have you ever seen Krishna?” He said, “I always see Krishna in front of me.” Once, in a public pandal, a boy challenged, “Do you see God?” Prabhupada hesitated a second and then said, “Yes.” Prabhupada understood his position. It’s hard for us to estimate Prabhupada’s vision, how, although he’s the master of teaching Krishna consciousness, he sees that everything is not done because of him. Prabhupada knows precisely what he’s doing. But he’s very humble because he knows that somehow or other he has the mercy of his spiritual master. Prabhupada’s acknowledgement of his powers was in his statement, “My spiritual master liked me. I listened to his words very carefully.” Prabhupada took those words very seriously and that’s his acknowledgement of how, somehow or other—miraculously—he is given this credit.
Prabhupada was speaking to Giriraj and me about the different kendras and kalamandirs—the many big cultural halls in Delhi. As he talked, we walked past these halls, one after another because we were in the center of Delhi where they all are. Prabhupada said we should organize programs in them, and Giriraj asked Prabhupada a question about how to progressively spread this movement. At that time Prabhupada gave a sutra: “Simply it takes intelligent organization.” We can take this as a clue from Srila Prabhupada—that if in our hearts we seriously want to facilitate Lord Chaitanya’s mission and see it fully manifest as soon as possible, then we should intelligently organize.
Several times I heard Prabhupada talk about change. “In general,” he said, “your whole disease is that you want to change everything,” Devotees changed Prabhupada’s instructions. For example, Prabhupada mentioned how devotees in Los Angeles had taken down the glass windows although he didn’t want that. But, at the same time, there were things that Prabhupada did want changed. For instance, he asked the editors to change the incorrect wording in the Gita—Hayagriva had put “cattle raising” instead of “cow protection”—and because of that and other mistakes, Prabhupada had once joked, “Bhagavad-gita As It Is Not.” There were many such mistakes that needed correcting and Prabhupada sometimes got angry when we were slow to change those. So there were things we weren’t supposed to change, and also, on his instructions, other things that some devotees were to change and review. But in general, unnecessary changes were the overall disease. So we shouldn’t abuse those who were authorized to make changes. And those who were authorized should make only appropriate changes. But overall, better safe than sorry: don’t change. Like kirtan. In the beginning, after Prabhupada finished chanting Hare Krishna he would stop. Then devotees started introducing haribol from the Gaudiya Math. Prabhupada said, “What is this ‘haribol’? Don’t simply say ‘haribol’, but do it. Chant His name” or the ‘jaya jaya gurudeva’. Prabhupada said, “Which gurudeva?” One of Prabhupada’s pet peeves was “Prabhupada said.” He said, “Who said ‘Prabhupada said’? When did I say? I never said. You are always saying ‘Prabhupada said.’ Stop this.” It became a problem.
Another instruction I received was in a letter Prabhupada wrote to me. He said, “Now strain your brain to think of more and more ways to introduce my books to the intelligent class of men.” At that time I was alone in Delhi, really alone. No one would stay and no one even came there except to make trouble. I was enduring all that and I was always in anxiety. Prabhupada said, “I always want to hear from you,” and told me to report to him regularly, so I reported that I had made ten members of Parliament Life Members. Prabhupada wrote back “You have opened up a whole new history in Krishna consciousness.” I thought, “Wow.” Besides being sweet and encouraging, the way he wrote it was as if this was earth-shattering news, “Tejiyas made ten Life Members!” It was amazing what went on by Prabhupada’s mercy. The biggest members of Parliament, the hardest to crack, even mayavadis, were inviting Prabhupada to their homes. Kamla Patri Pati, who, after Indira Gandhi, was the most respected person in the Congress Party—he was called Panditji—invited Prabhupada and all the ministers and top members of Parliament to a program at his house. At that program Prabhupada was on fire as he spoke about Rupa and Sanatan Goswamis and how they left their prestigious government posts to take up the mission of Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.
I wrote a letter to Prabhupada about my anxiety. I was disheartened because the devotees I trained would abandon me three weeks later. Even my wife would argue and run away. Prabhupada’s reply was, “Actually we are not after making members, we are not after collections, we are not after selling books, we are not after any of these things. These are just different ways to engage in service to Krishna and thus to become Krishna conscious. You need not worry. Do not be in anxiety.” Two weeks later I got another letter from Srila Prabhupada increasing my responsibilities five-fold. He wrote, “Make the members of Parliament Life Members.” I had so many responsibilities that I was getting more and more anxious. I hadn’t made a Life Member in 45 days. I was trying to follow Prabhupada’s instructions of being detached, thinking, “I’m a servant of Krishna and whatever I get is Krishna’s arrangement.” But I was also thinking, “Why am I in such anxiety?” The daily reality I faced was that the devotees in Vrindavan would starve if I didn’t send money, and I had to take care of the devotees in Delhi also. At the same time, Prabhupada put me under stringent financial directives. I had to give 50% of the Life Membership money to the BBT and 50% to construction. So I had no money for maintenance and I was the little maintainer of the Vrindavan and Delhi ISKCON temples. Beyond this, there were always new problems, more things to do and not enough prasadam. I got sick. The devotees revolted. Every afternoon Srila Prabhupada would take a leisurely hour-long massage. He had so many things to do, but he was leisurely about everything he did. I went and sat there for a while. Then I told Srila Prabhupada, “I’m worried that I’m not progressing correctly in spiritual life. In Bhagavad-gita it says, brahma-bhutah prasannatma na socati na kanksati, that when one attains the brahma-bhutah platform or is Krishna conscious, anxiety and lamentation are gone. But I’m always in anxiety and I’m concerned that I’m making an error in my spiritual life. Srila Prabhupada, please correct me.” Prabhupada’s reply was amazing. Prabhupada looked at me softly and kindly and said, “No. Your anxiety is all about pleasing Krishna. Mother Yasoda is always in anxiety, that this demon Trinavarta might steal Krishna or that Krishna might be hungry. So, all your anxieties are simply in relation to pleasing Krishna and are transcendental.” He was so kind.
I was staying at the Hyderabad farm, which was important to Srila Prabhupada. When I heard that Srila Prabhupada was not feeling well and that there was a chance he might leave the world, I went to see him in Vrindavan— around November 8th. Prabhupada’s room was packed with devotees and I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, to not disrupt the mood. Everyone was very quiet, and I could see Prabhupada’s condition. He hadn’t eaten for almost six months. He was lying in bed, emaciated, weighing maybe 70 pounds if that much, drinking one spoon, two spoons of water, maybe eating a little bit. I was sitting in the back, listening. There was kirtan, and Kirtanananda came in and offered Srila Prabhupada strawberries from New Vrindavan. Srila Prabhupada asked, “What is the value of strawberries?” No one knew what to say. Several devotees poked me to say something, as I’m known as a walking encyclopedia. I didn’t want to intrude on Prabhupada, but I said, “Srila Prabhupada, the value of strawberries is that they are very high in fructose and that provides immediate energy.” Even lying on his departure bed, not eating, Prabhupada was pragmatic. The devotee next to Prabhupada said, “Tejiyas says that . . .” and he repeated what I’d said. Prabhupada said, “Oh, Tejiyas is here? How is the Hyderabad farm?” Even in his state he was so cognizant. I gave him a report that we were growing corn, rice, mung beans and so on. As soon as I said corn, Prabhupada said, “Oh, corn. You can grind the corn and then there are big pieces which you can cook with water like rice,” it was called bhata. “And the fine powder, you make that like a chapati and you cook it on the cooking pan. The villagers like this very much.” From a physical point of view Prabhupada was starving, but what was he thinking? How we could make corn in the most delicious way to make the villagers happy when they took prasadam. This is a person of unlimited compassion.
