Rajendranandana: The pure devotee is not under the influence of the modes of material nature. When he sleeps, the pure devotee is not in ignorance but is engaged in Krishna’s service. One morning when Srila Prabhupada woke up, Tamal Krishna Maharaj helped him rise and Prabhupada immediately began preaching enthusiastically. With a loud voice he said, “I want you to go to the West and preach. Ask people, ‘Do you want to grow old?’ No. You are forced to grow old. Do you think I want to get old? Nobody wants to grow old, but this is the law of nature. You are forced. You must surrender to Krishna if you want to become free of birth, death, disease and old age.” For Srila Prabhupada to wake up and in one moment preach on the transcendental platform, it would seem that during his sleep he was meditating on how he wanted his disciples to carry on.
In his final days, when Srila Prabhupada was lying on his bed and had not eaten for a long time, he said, “Now I am finished with eating. I have conquered sleeping. There is no question of sex life, and now all material activities are finished.” And he asked the devotees, “Why do you pray for me to stay? This bag of bones is useless.” Devotees don’t like to see the film of his last days. They don’t like to see pictures of Srila Prabhupada in the antya-lila. But, the goswami that our spiritual master was, he stayed with us so we would develop more and more attachment to him. At the time, he said as much to Bhavananda Maharaj that, “It is my duty to draw from you this attachment to me.” At this time, some of Srila Prabhupada’s God-brothers and Gaudiya Math sannyasis came to visit him in his room. Srila Prabhupada asked to be propped up on some pillows and he said to them, “Please excuse me for not being able to receive you properly.” And he said, “Please forgive me for all my offenses. Sometimes strong words are spoken in preaching, and I would like to ask your forgiveness for those words.” Prabhupada was so humble. And his God-brothers and the Gaudiya Math sannyasis appropriately responded, “No, no, there has been no offense. The offense is ours. Please forgive us.” And then they began talking in Bengali. Later I asked a Bengali-speaking devotee what they had said. This devotee told me that Prabhupada said, “Also please forgive my disciples. Sometime they think that only they are devotees. I’ve had time to teach them prachar but not achar,” meaning he taught us preaching, the essence, but not proper behavior. What else could he do in the short time that he had with us? He had to send us out—an army of monkeys—to spread the glories of Lord Chaitanya via book distribution, harinam and all the other wonderful activities of ISKCON. Prabhupada said, “I didn’t have time to teach them etiquette, so sometimes they fall short in that regard.” Prabhupada’s every move, every thought and every word was dictated by the Supreme Lord, and only out of compassion for us did he remain with us in those last months. The Christians glorify Jesus Christ by saying, “He died for our sins,” and for myself, my love for Srila Prabhupada was secured during his last months. It is his glory that he chose to stay with us longer than it was convenient for him. Prabhupada’s doctor said that when Srila Prabhupada was lying on the bed with no body fat left due to fasting, it was like he was on fire—his skin and nerves rubbed against his bones. But did Srila Prabhupada complain even once? No. Did he ask for morphine for the pain? No. He simply wanted to be with his disciples and for his disciples to chant Hare Krishna. Out of love, he instructed all of his disciples to come and be with him for his passing. He loved us so much. He didn’t forget any single service. We’ve heard devotees share insignificant things that they’ve done for Prabhupada and how he responded with, “Jaya!” That is Srila Prabhupada. How can we give up his service? How can we turn away from him or forget him? We owe him everything.
In the garden we were reading the Sanskrit, the word-forword translations, the verse and the purport from the First Canto of Srimad- Bhagavatam. When we read the word-for-word translation of the word muni, it wasn’t a noun—muni means a thoughtful person—but it was a verb. Srila Prabhupada said, “Read that again?” The devotee read it again and Srila Prabhupada said, “Who has done this? Who has changed this? Who is that rascal?” Some prabhu’s name was mentioned and Prabhupada said, “If you change one word of my books it can ruin our movement.” He was emphatic and heavy about this point. Not to be misunderstood, let me explain that I offer all respects to the devotees who Srila Prabhupada assigned as editors, like Dravida Prabhu, but my understanding is that we can’t change the message of the spiritual master. There’s a great danger in that, and I personally saw how Srila Prabhupada was fiery in making that point.
