Sama Priya: I saw Srila Prabhupada in the Henry Street temple in New York. I felt that he looked through me and saw all my contamination. At that time I was going through some anxiety. Four kinds of people come to Krishna consciousness: those who are in need of money, those who are distressed, those who are curious, and those who are wise; and I was definitely distressed. Before I saw Srila Prabhupada I had read some of his books: the Krishna book, The Nectar of Devotion, and the Bhagavad-gita. Previously I had also read a different translation of the Bhagavad-gita. I was crying when I saw Srila Prabhupada, but he looked at me in such a way that I realized my tears were based on the bodily concept of life. He was not impressed by my emotion on seeing the pure devotee. He knew that it was a false show. I immediately stopped crying and felt how he saw everything about me. As the years went on, every time I saw Srila Prabhupada I got a little bit less contaminated, and finally many years later I was happy when he saw me. I was getting a little, teeny bit more pure, and I was understanding my position as a fallen soul. I got a little shadow of humility. A lot of devotees experienced how, when Prabhupada looked at them, he looked at the soul. The material assets that we try to fool ourselves with didn’t fool him.
When I wanted to get initiated, Gunagrahi, the temple president in San Diego, recommended me because I had spent some time in the San Diego temple. Jayatirtha did the fire sacrifice. When I went up to get my beads from Srila Prabhupada, I paid my full dandavats. I spread right out on the floor. At that time I lived outside the temple, and I didn’t know the rule that ladies shouldn’t pay their dandavats. I got up and extended my right hand with a little bouquet that I had made for Srila Prabhupada and reached with my left hand to accept my beads. Jayatirtha said to me, “Don’t accept your beads with your left hand. Accept your beads with your right hand.” I put the flowers in my left hand, extended that hand to Prabhupada and reached for my beads with my right hand. Jayatirtha said, “Don’t give Srila Prabhupada flowers with your left hand. Give them with your right hand.” I was going back and forth and getting nervous. Finally, Srila Prabhupada looked at Jayatirtha and said, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” This was my first experience of feeling the fool in front of my spiritual master. All my little anecdotes are about that realization, of how I was a fool in front of my spiritual master.
Srila Prabhupada was going to make some recordings at the tape ministry, Golden Avatar Studios. My daughter and I lived in the “Agni Apartments,” next to the fire station, which was across the street from Golden Avatar. I brought a fruit plate to present to Srila Prabhupada and put it inside the studio next to where Prabhupada would sit. There were just four or five devotees there. When Srila Prabhupada came, his driver parked the car, but the sidewalk was a little high and the car was low. Prabhupada had to step up to get onto the sidewalk. The driver opened the car door, and Srila Prabhupada struggled to get out of the car. It would have been difficult for anyone. I was thinking to the driver, “Please extend your hand to help Srila Prabhupada.” Then I felt that I should do that. But I didn’t. Finally, without assistance, Srila Prabhupada got out of the car and walked into the studio. During the hour and a half that Srila Prabhupada recorded, I felt very guilty that I did not extend my hand. It was the perfect opportunity for me to serve the spiritual master. (Although it was probably best that I didn’t do it.) When Prabhupada walked out, I went to him and said, “Srila Prabhupada, please forgive me for not helping you get out of the car.” Srila Prabhupada looked at me and said, “What?” I said, “Srila Prabhupada, when you arrived I should have helped you get out of the car. It looked like you needed some assistance. Please forgive me.” Prabhupada looked at his servant and said, “What did she say?” The servant said, “Oh, it’s nothing important, Srila Prabhupada.” I said, “Srila Prabhupada, it is very important. Please forgive me for not having helped you get out of the car when you first arrived.” Prabhupada saw my face and said, “Oh, it’s okay.” Again I was being a complete fool in front of my guru.
In a letter Prabhupada told me to worship Lord Chaitanya in my home, to chant at least sixteen rounds, and to read his books every day. Then maya would never touch me. Prabhupada told me that if I always remained in the fire of Krishna consciousness, then my spiritual master would pray to Krishna for my spiritual advancement. So in my life I try to at least follow those three instructions every day.
