Chaturatma: It was announced one morning that they needed a cleaning crew for Prabhupada’s room. My hand went right up along with four others and we would go over every morning and clean Srila Prabhupada’s apartment. I was somehow able to secure a garland each day and for five days we went over to Prabhupada’s apartment and when he came down from the second floor, we would offer obeisances and put a garland on him. One really vivid memory was that it had rained the night before and the ground was a little wet. It was just a light drizzle that morning and Prabhupada came out. We put the garland on him, offered our obeisances and he stopped us. He said, “No.” He said, “If you do this in the rain, then you will become sick and your service to Krishna will be hampered.” That made such an impact on me that here was the spiritual master of the entire universe, but he was more concerned about our health and our well being than being honored as the Jagat Guru.
A reporter came from one of the Chicago television stations to do an interview with Srila Prabhupada. Brahmananda brought in a television set so Prabhupada could see himself on the evening news. Nowadays, evening news is at 11 o’clock but I’m not sure that was the case then, maybe 9 or 10 o’clock. So they put on the television and Brahmananda sat down along with Pradyumna, Upendra and me. There may have been others but I was not noticing anything except the fact that I was sitting up there watching TV with Srila Prabhupada. The first newscast that came on was about a teacher’s strike that was going on in Chicago at that time. Brahmananda Prabhu, having been a teacher, spoke up and he explained to Srila Prabhupada, “Srila Prabhupada this is about the teachers of Chicago who are striking because . . .” and at that point Prabhupada cut him off and said, “Because they are nonsense and they do not know how to teach.” Finally Prabhupada came on and he watched it. You could see him smiling and he was very happy with the presentation.
One night there was a darshan with one musician. I never got the understanding whether this was a person coming to Krishna consciousness or this person was already a devotee. Anyway, this was someone who wanted to use his western rock and roll guitar style in service to Lord Chaitanya. Prabhupada was very adamant and the guy kept bringing the point up two or three times and Prabhupada finally said, “No.” He pointed to a beautiful picture of the Panchatattva on the wall of his room and said, “You see Mahaprabhu, kartals and mridanga. That’s all.”
Prabhupada would take darshan of the deities and then he would come for charnamrita. I got the opportunity to be the one with the chandan and put it on his forehead after he took his charnamrita. It was just a simple little service but it was one personal thing that I got to do for Srila Prabhupada. I remember the first day everybody stood around and someone said, “Somebody lead a kirtan.” In St. Louis I was the kirtan leader. I had a decent voice and I knew the songs so I thought, “I’ll lead the kirtan for Prabhupada.” Just then Tusta Krishna said, “No you won’t. I will. I’m the sannyasi.” (laughs) So I felt, “All right.” The next day a similar thing happened. I rushed down to offer arati to Srila Prabhupada and as I was about to step on the little grass asana that we had, my God-brother, Pancha Tattva Prabhu slipped right in front of me. Prabhupada was sitting right there, so how much of a scene can you make? I said to Pancha Tattva in his ear out of the side of my mouth, “Pancha Tattva, what are you doing? I’ve been waiting all week to do this.” He turned to me and with complete confidence said, “Well, then I’ve got you beat. I’ve been waiting my whole life.” And I had to secede. (laughs) Years later, I mean twenty something years later I came in contact with Pancha Tattva and I related that story to him. He felt so bad and embarrassed about the whole thing and I said, “No, no prabhu. I have used that story for years as an example of your superior thinking to mine.” (laughs)
One event that really stuck out in my mind with Srila Prabhupada was during the Ratha-yatra parade in New York City. When the carts got to Washington Square Park, Subhadra’s cart had to stop for some time. Prabhupada was curious and became so concerned that he said to Tamal Krishna Maharaj, “Go and find out.” Tamal got down and inquired from someone and he came back. Because I was fanning Prabhupada I was close enough to hear these exchanges and he said to Srila Prabhupada, “Srila Prabhupada, the problem is that so many people showed up for the festival that they don’t have anywhere to put the carts.” Prabhupada leaned back and smiled. I saw that this was what Prabhupada wanted: Fifth Avenue, New York City, the most important city in the world, Ratha-yatra. You could see Prabhupada was so pleased that “There is no room for the cart because so many people have come out for the Rathayatra.”
I didn’t see Srila Prabhupada again until one month before his departure in Vrindavan. I think any devotee who was there at the time can attest to the fact that the Srila Prabhupada we saw then, was not the Srila Prabhupada we knew. The last time I saw Srila Prabhupada he was robust, full body and then when he came to Vrindavan it was in his final eight weeks on the planet and he was completely withdrawn. It was really a shock to me. The thing that really stuck with me was that Prabhupada still wanted to come for darshan of the deities. He could still be brought out at that time and the devotees would dance. Prabhupada took such great pleasure in that and to me that was a real lesson. Prabhupada said many times, “Don’t think this won’t happen to you.” But as it was happening he was still relishing devotional service, coming and seeing the deities, hearing the kirtan, seeing his disciples dance. These were the things that were important to him. They would take him around in a chair to circumambulate the deities. Shortly thereafter, two things happened. I got malaria and didn’t get out of the room I think for a week or two. And then when I did recover from that, Prabhupada was completely bed ridden. I didn’t get any opportunities to see him except one morning I was called in for doing the ‘quiet kirtan’. Hamsadutta Prabhu was leading at the time and here was Prabhupada laid out, but still he was speaking the Bhagavatam giving instructions. We have all seen these tapes which are heart wrenching when you see them but here was Prabhupada preparing to leave this planet but he was still preaching to us; still giving it to us, still knowing it’s what we needed and had to have in his example of an acharya and teaching us, “Don’t just lay there and die”, drugged up or whatever, but “grasp on to Krishna and give Krishna.” This is what he was doing all the way to the end. Unfortunately I didn’t have the mature foresight to stay. I left Vrindavan at that time and went back to America before Prabhupada departed. That was my little bit of realization from being there close to Prabhupada; just hold on to Krishna even at the very end.
