Giriraj Swami:A guest asked, “If everything comes from Krishna, then illusion also comes from Krishna. But how can illusion, which comes from Krishna, cover Krishna?” Srila Prabhupada replied, “Everything comes from the sun. The cloud also comes from the sun, but the cloud doesn’t actually cover the sun. The cloud covers our vision of the sun, but the sun is never covered.” Then I asked, “There are so many swamis and yogis. Each one presents a different method of self-realization, and each one claims that his method is best. How can I know which one is actually best?” Srila Prabhupada replied by asking another question. He said, “What is your goal? Do you want to become God, or do you want to serve God? If you want to become God that means that right now you’re not God. How can not-God become God? God is always God. Krishna is God. He never has to become God by meditation or yoga. When He is playing on the lap of mother Yasoda, He’s God. When He is speaking Bhagavad-gita to Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, He’s God. He’s always God. He never has to become God. You can become godly, but you cannot become God. God is in your heart, and He is ready to help you. If you sow the seed of service to God, then God will give fresh air and sunlight to make that seed grow. Water the seed by chanting. God is within you. He’s in your heart. He’s ready to help you if you want to serve Him. But if you want to become God, why should God help the competition?”
I said, “Srila Prabhupada, what is it like to be with Krishna?” When Srila Prabhupada replied, I thought he said, “That’s inconceivable,” but Hansadutta thought Prabhupada said, “That’s confidential.” Anyway, we drove to Harvard Divinity School, where Srila Prabhupada gave a brilliant lecture to a group of proud students. At the end of the lecture Srila Prabhupada said, “Any questions?” and many hands shot up. One young man said, “What is the utility of Krishna consciousness?” He mentioned how the Russian Revolution did some good for the people, but he could not see what good Krishna consciousness would do. Srila Prabhupada said, “Since the Russian Revolution, are the people in Russia happy?” The student said, “No.” Srila Prabhupada said, “Then what is the use? Even if things get better for some time, again after some time they will get worse, so what is the use?” Then he explained the benefit of Krishna consciousness. Another young man asked, “You say we should chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, but couldn’t we get the same effect by just counting numbers?” Srila Prabhupada replied, “You can try counting and after you’re tired of counting you can try chanting.” Everyone laughed. Then someone asked, “Have you seen God?” Srila Prabhupada said, “If I tell you that I have seen God, will you believe me?” At first the student didn’t understand. Srila Prabhupada repeated, “If I tell you that I have seen God, will you believe me?” The boy said, “No.” Srila Prabhupada said, “Then what is the use of the question?” One after the other, quickly and without any hesitation, Prabhupada completely defeated all the opponents. The students were stunned, and the whole room became hushed. They realized that they were in the presence of a superior personality.
After I had been in the temple for only two-and-a-half months, I received a wonderful initiation letter from Srila Prabhupada. He wrote, “I’m glad to know that you’ve experienced at least some of the bliss of Krishna consciousness. Giriraj is a name of Govardhan Hill where Krishna tends his cows. Sometimes devotees take a stone from Govardhan Hill and worship it as Krishna. When I met you, I prayed to Krishna that this soul become aware of the importance of Krishna consciousness.” Our family’s name was Teton and as far as we knew we were the only Tetons in the whole world. We were very proud of our name. We identified with the Grand Teton Mountains. When Prabhupada gave me the name of a mountain, I was astonished. I thought, “He knows everything. He even knew I was proud of my mountain name and he gave me another mountain name just so I wouldn’t feel I lost anything.” That was my initiation.
During a morning walk at Cheviot Hills in Los Angeles, I asked, “We preach that Krishna is the origin of everything, but sometimes people ask, ‘What is the origin of Krishna?’” Srila Prabhupada replied, “You tell them that as far as our information goes, Krishna is the origin. If you have something or someone who is the origin of Krishna, we will worship that thing or that person. But until you find someone who is the origin of Krishna, then worship Krishna as the origin of all.”
One day in Surat when Srila Prabhupada was taking his massage, I asked, “How can we deal with envy?” I knew that I was envious, and I knew that envy was bad. Before I asked the question, I had been considering the subject, and I had come to the conclusion that there was no use in being envious, because Krishna is unlimited and Krishna’s service is unlimited and Krishna’s mercy is unlimited. If someone has some special service to Krishna or is getting some special mercy from Krishna, it doesn’t really prejudice my chances, because there’s unlimited service and unlimited mercy. But at the same time being envious was hurting my Krishna consciousness, so I asked Srila Prabhupada, “What to do with envy?” Srila Prabhupada replied by asking me, “Can you think of any reasons why you shouldn’t be envious?” I had already thought of many reasons so I said, “Yes.” Then Srila Prabhupada said, “To be envious of someone means that you don’t like that person. That ‘not liking’ should be directed against the demons that are causing so much trouble to the devotees and so much havoc in the world. That ‘not liking’ should not be directed towards the devotees.”
I went into Srila Prabhupada’s room in Calcutta and said, “Before I came to Krishna consciousness, I used to make movies. Do you think I should make movies for Krishna?” Srila Prabhupada replied, “There are others who can do that. Our main medium is books.” Then I said, “I also like to cultivate big people.” He said, “Oh that is very important. Yes, you should cultivate big people and convince them of the importance of Krishna consciousness.” I said, “Srila Prabhupada, right now you’re here, and everything is going nicely. But what if in the future, when you’re not here, ISKCON falls from the standard? What should I do?” Srila Prabhupada replied, “You are also one of the important members of the Society. You work to correct the problems, but don’t leave.”
When we first arrived in India, we thought we should do harinam in the streets every day as we had done in America. We were shocked when Srila Prabhupada said, “If you chant in the streets in India, people will think you’re beggars. In India many people chant in the streets just to get some paisa.” At this time, Srila Prabhupada was having many preaching programs, and we would accompany him, but we didn’t really know what to do until he unveiled the Life Membership Program. According to this program, the member would contribute 1,111 rupees and would get a lifetime subscription to Back to Godhead, all of Srila Prabhupada’s books, and free guest facilities in all ISKCON centers. Srila Prabhupada commented that he devised this membership program as a means to distribute his books. Tamal Krishna Goswami said, “If we give them all the magazines and all the books and free stay and prasadam in all the temples, during the Member’s life we may end up spending much more than 1,111 rupees.” Srila Prabhupada replied, “You’ll always be going back to the Life Members, and they’ll always be giving more and more. He may only give 1,111 rupees to become a Life Member, but in the course of his life he may give 10,000 rupees.” I understood that Srila Prabhupada wanted us to actively cultivate the Life Members and encourage them in Krishna consciousness. After the first Bombay pandal, Srila Prabhupada called for the first meeting of the Life Members, and he spoke to them about the six exchanges of love. He said, “The Membership Program is meant to facilitate these six exchanges. We give you books, we give you Krishna consciousness, and you give us contributions. We invite you for prasadam, you invite us for prasadam, you reveal your mind and ask questions, and we reveal our mind and answer.” The way Srila Prabhupada explained the whole thing was very sweet and transcendental. His idea was that we would make friends with the Life Members, they would become convinced about Krishna consciousness, and gradually become Krishna conscious and support the Movement.
The main quality of Srila Prabhupada that strikes me is his compassion. His compassion was manifest in his intense desire to make everyone Krishna conscious. And his compassion was manifest in everything he did. Once Srila Prabhupada was giving a public program in the street, and there were hundreds and hundreds of people. The kirtan had just finished, and Prabhupada was about to lecture. I had many questions that I wanted to ask, and without thinking, I went up to Srila Prabhupada in the middle of the program and in front of everyone. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, you know the verse such-and-such, where does it come from?” Srila Prabhupada looked at me and said, “Perhaps Haribhakti- sudhodaya.” Then I sat down and the program continued. Years later, I reflected on that incident, because sometimes devotees would interrupt me when I was in the middle of some activity or some thought, and I’d be disturbed. Then I’d think of how, right in the middle of a big public program and for no reason at all, I asked Srila Prabhupada this silly little question. He didn’t get upset at all. He patiently and considerately answered it. Whenever I feel someone is interrupting me or intruding, I think of Srila Prabhupada and how kind he was.
Srila Prabhupada said, “Do you ever feel like getting married?” I didn’t, so I said, “No. The only thing is that sometimes I see all the GBCs are married, so I think maybe I should marry.” He said, “You will never be GBC.” Then he said, “The demands of the body, like sex or any other demand, are like itching. If you try to scratch the itch, it will get worse. The best thing is to tolerate, and gradually the itching will subside. Whatever it may be, hunger also. It will subside. The best thing is to tolerate. You remain brahmachari for some time, and then I will give you sannyas.” I understood what Prabhupada wanted, and I decided without any doubt to remain a brahmachari.
In Boston we hardly made any new devotees, but after some months a young man named Peter came. Peter was eccentric. He used to sit in the hallway at the entrance to the building, lean his back against the wall with his legs out straight, and read. Sometimes he would lay down in the hallway and sleep. We were getting upset because the first thing that a new person would see was Peter slouched in the hallway and sometimes asleep. Satsvarupa Maharaj wrote Srila Prabhupada, “What to do?” Srila Prabhupada wrote back, “What’s the matter, can’t you tolerate?” The answer was could we tolerate it? We felt uneasy, but we tolerated. After some days, “crazy Peter” left Boston and went to New York. We were a small family then, and I wondered what had happened to Peter. So on my way from Boston to India through New York, I asked about crazy Peter. The devotees said he had gone to New Vrindavan, and he was doing very well. He was going to be initiated. I was amazed. After that I lost track of crazy Peter until about twenty years later when I visited Los Angeles and I saw crazy Peter at mangal arati. I was surprised that he was still with us. I asked someone, “Who is that?” The devotee said, “Oh, that’s Kushakrata prabhu.” I thought, Kushakrata? He was famous because he translated scriptures from Sanskrit and Bengali into English. I thought, “My God, how merciful Srila Prabhupada is. By his mercy and compassion, crazy Peter, in whom we saw little potential, has come to the stage of translating Vaishnava literature.” Srila Prabhupada intensely wanted everyone to engage in Krishna’s service and act in Krishna consciousness. He saw potential in everyone, and he wanted to give everyone a chance. He was ready to extend himself to any extent for that end.
Mr. Sethi of Bombay was an older Life Member and great sankirtan devotee. He had a construction company, and when we built additional floors on the existing buildings at the back of Hare Krishna Land, Mr. Sethi did the job. When the first ashram was almost ready, Mr. Sethi took Srila Prabhupada to see it, and Srila Prabhupada gave us instructions on how to live there. He said that every morning we should lift everything off the floor and wash the floor with water. Then Srila Prabhupada said to Mr. Sethi, “Just as you are building these rooms for my disciples here, Krishna is building rooms for you in Vaikuntha.” As time went by, we built the guesthouse, and on the top floor of the tower facing the sea were Srila Prabhupada’s quarters. When his quarters were ready, Srila Prabhupada invited Mr. Sethi to see them, and he told Mr. Sethi, “Just see what they’ve done for me; marble floors, chandeliers, carved wood, nice furniture, everything. Mr. Sethi, I always wanted you to join us, but you always felt that you couldn’t accept the austere conditions. So I want you to stay here, and I will stay somewhere else.” Mr. Sethi said, “But Prabhupada, I can’t stay here. Where will you go?” Prabhupada said, “Oh, I have so many places. I can stay anywhere. You stay here.” Again, Srila Prabhupada demonstrated how intensely he wanted everyone to be engaged in Krishna’s service. And he showed how much he was willing to sacrifice to engage one soul in Krishna consciousness.
Srila Prabhupada never asked us to do anything that he wasn’t ready to do himself. Whatever austerities he asked us to accept, he accepted more. When we went to Kumbha Mela in 1971, we were living in tents, and it was freezing cold. Srila Prabhupada was right there with us in the next tent. His tent was a little bigger, because he would receive people and preach. It was so cold we could see our breath in the air, and in the mornings I wouldn’t want to get out of my sleeping bag. When devotees started to miss attending mangal arati, Srila Prabhupada got concerned. Generally a devotee used to heat water for him, and he would take bath later in the day, but just to set an example for us, one morning he took a freezing cold bucket of water from the pump and bathed in the cold. He may have gotten a little sick from that, but he did it. When we saw Prabhupada taking a cold bath, how could we stay in our sleeping bags? He was compassionate and sympathetic, but at the same time he wanted to elevate us. And he would push us.
A devotee named Dravida, who later became Pancha Dravida Swami, approached Srila Prabhupada on the veranda in Calcutta. He said “In the early days, all the devotees had a personal relationship with you, but now ISKCON has become so big.” Srila Prabhupada replied, “ISKCON may be big, but I’m still small.” Dravida said, “But in the early days devotees could come and talk to you.” Prabhupada said, “Are you not talking to me now?” Dravida wanted to be a devotee but outside ISKCON. He said, “Well Srila Prabhupada, would it be all right if I left ISKCON and practiced Krishna consciousness outside?” Srila Prabhupada said, “Yes.” Dravida said, “So, do I have your blessings to move outside?” Prabhupada said, “How can I give you my blessings to do something I don’t want you to do?”
I was cultivating the Chief Justice in the High Court in Madras, and when Srila Prabhupada came to Madras he encouraged me. I met with the Chief Justice almost every day, and he was taking a sincere interest in Krishna consciousness. Each day I would tell Srila Prabhupada what the Chief Justice had said, what I had said, what he had said, and so on. Srila Prabhupada explained that in Madras there was a big conflict between the brahmans and the non-brahmans. Prabhupada said, “I think that the Chief Justice is a nonbrahman, so tell him that we can make anyone into a brahman who follows our principles. Then the whole problem will be solved.” The Chief Justice finally came to the point where he wanted to be initiated, but he couldn’t give up tea. I told Srila Prabhupada, and Srila Prabhupada said, “Well, for a big man, we can make a little exception.” Anyway, at the end of Srila Prabhupada’s stay, the Chief Justice arranged a big program on the grounds and invited all the judges and advocates of Madras. Srila Prabhupada spoke wonderfully. He explained how the Goswamis were highly placed in the government and in society and how they left everything to join the mission of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Prabhupada appealed to these people to join us. After the lecture, we went to the Chief Justice’s house. The Chief Justice had a small silver Deity of Krishna. At this time, Saraswati, Shyamasundar and Malati’s daughter was a few years old, and Srila Prabhupada engaged her demonstrating an important lesson in Krishna consciousness. Prabhupada held the little Deity of Krishna in front of Saraswati and then hid it behind his back. Saraswati became bewildered, and Srila Prabhupada said, “Saraswati, where is Krishna?” She didn’t know. She began looking this way and that way, everywhere, but she couldn’t find Krishna. Again Prabhupada said, “Saraswati, where is Krishna?” Saraswati became even more anxious, looking here and there. Finally, one of the devotees gave a hint; “Saraswati, who has Krishna?” Her eyes lit up in recognition, “Oh, Prabhupada has Krishna.” She looked towards Prabhupada, and Prabhupada very slowly and carefully brought the Deity of Krishna from behind his back and held Him in front of her. Saraswati said, “Prabhupada has Krishna.” Srila Prabhupada explained, “This is the mood of the Goswamis. They were always anxious, ‘Where is Krishna?’ Not that ‘Oh, I’ve seen Krishna, now my business is finished.’” Prabhupada continued explaining how the Goswamis kicked off all aristocratic association to join Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and work for the welfare of others. Prabhupada knew how to reciprocate with everyone and how to satisfy everyone. Simultaneously he reciprocated with a three-year-old child and a fifty-year-old High Court Justice.
Many times he would paraphrase the Srimad-Bhagavatam or Bhagavad-gita in such a natural way that you would think he was speaking his own thoughts. Once there were construction workers staying on Hare Krishna Land. In the distance Prabhupada heard a small child crying, and he said, “Even in the presence of the mother who gives all care to the child, still the child cries. What is the reason?” Then he gave the answer, “One who is not cared for and protected by the Lord, even in the presence of the mother and the father, suffers.” Prabhupada was saying that when we do something on our own, we may or may not succeed. We must depend on the care and protection of the Lord. Later I found that he was paraphrasing Prahlad Maharaj.
Prabhupada would give a business example to businessmen. To Mr. Mota, a businessman, Prabhupada said, “According to Chanakya Pandit, even if you spend crores [one crore equals ten million] of rupees, at the time of death you still cannot get one moment more to live.” Prabhupada was saying, “Every moment is worth crores of rupees. The time that is spent in Krishna consciousness is profit, and the time that is not spent in Krishna consciousness is a loss.” Prabhupada said, “Make a balance sheet and see the profit and loss. Then you will use all your time in Krishna consciousness.”
Every morning Dr. Patel would walk with Srila Prabhupada along Juhu Beach. Sometimes Srila Prabhupada would call Dr. Patel a Mayavadi, although Dr. Patel would deny it and say that he was a Vaishnava. One morning, Srila Prabhupada criticized some famous Indian Mayavadi sannyasi, and Dr. Patel got so upset that he argued with Srila Prabhupada and chastised Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada argued back, “I’m not saying, Krishna’s saying.” The devotees were very upset, and later Tamal Krishna Goswami asked Srila Prabhupada, “Why do you spend so much time with him?” Srila Prabhupada said, “We have to engage everyone.” But it was very hard to understand Dr. Patel. Was he a Mayavadi or was he a Vaishnava? Srila Prabhupada told a story. “Once there was a man who spoke many languages. Nobody could figure out what his original language was, and everyone in the village wanted to know. They were curious, ‘Whom are we dealing with? What is his mother tongue? Where does he come from?’ But whatever language they spoke to him, he would respond perfectly and immediately in the same language. So, how to find out? Then one person said, ‘I will find out.’ So once, when the mysterious man wasn’t looking, this person came from behind and gave him a slap. Immediately the mysterious man started cursing in his original language.” Srila Prabhupada said, “Dr. Patel was like that mysterious man. Whatever language you spoke to Dr. Patel, he would respond in the same language. But when we hit on a sensitive point, then he spoke in his real language.”
When I first met Mr. Mota, he started to preach impersonal philosophy. He said, “When Krishna says ‘Me’ in Bhagavad-gita, He doesn’t mean Krishna the person. Krishna is not Krishna. Krishna means something else. The all-pervading Krishna is greater than the person Krishna.” When Prabhupada was in Bombay, I’d come to him in the evening and report my day’s activities. So that evening I told Prabhupada about my meeting with Mr. Mota. Srila Prabhupada said, “First of all, if Krishna’s not Krishna, then is Mr. Mota not Mr. Mota? Does Mr. Mota mean something else? And secondly, you should ask Mr. Mota, ‘What is more valuable to you, one hundred million rupees spread out so that one rupee is in everyone else’s pocket or one million rupees in your pocket?” Prabhupada was saying, “Even if he thinks the all-pervading Krishna is greater, he’ll get more benefit from the person Krishna.” Again, Prabhupada gave a perfect analogy according to the mentality of the person.
On the first night of the Calcutta pandal, there were many Naxalites (communists in Bengal) in the audience ready to disturb the program. On two sides of the pandal there were folding wooden chairs for VIPs to sit on, and in the middle and at the rear there was a carpet for everyone else to sit on. The Naxalites began making agitation, “Why do some people have chairs and not others?” They started to smash chairs together while Prabhupada was trying to speak. It was a big disturbance, and some devotees, went to talk to them, but the Naxalites starting shouting at the devotees and the devotees starting shouting at the Naxalites. The disturbance became worse, and we didn’t know what to do. Prabhupada stopped speaking, closed his eyes, and with intense absorption and love for Krishna, began to sing the Govindam prayers, Govindam adipurusamtam aham bhajami, over the microphone. Prabhupada was not thinking of anything else. Gradually the Naxalites were overcome by the influence of Srila Prabhupada’s devotion. They quieted down, put the chairs back in order, and left. Srila Prabhupada had complete faith in Krishna and in His holy name, more than he had faith in his personal strength or ability. When we act in the same way, depending on Krishna and Krishna’s mercy, Krishna always reciprocates.
Srila Prabhupada was not of this world. For him to be in the material world was a sacrifice, but even within the material world, he sacrificed for our sake. For the sake of the fallen souls, for the sake of spreading Krishna consciousness, Prabhupada sacrificed so much. All of Srila Prabhupada’s good qualities came together in his one effort to spread Krishna consciousness. If we could dedicate ourselves and surrender to Srila Prabhupada’s mood and mission of spreading Krishna consciousness, we would also be forced to develop all good qualities, and we would get the reward of Prabhupada’s mercy. There is nothing higher than that.
