Jananivas: While we were waiting in the Calcutta airport for Srila Prabhupada to arrive, we were having a kirtan, when suddenly Prabhupada just appeared there like a genie out of the lamp. [laughs] Revatinandana, Maharaj at that time, was chanting and playing mridanga, and he just stopped when Prabhupada arrived. Prabhupada was standing there very aristocratic. He was looking at all the devotees one after another and then he looked at me. I was a new bhakta and it seemed like he looked straight through me. It was as if to say, “I’m looking for you. I’m coming for you. [laughs] Now what do you think you are? All these identities you have, I’m seeing you as Krishna’s devotee and I’m coming to get you.” I was thinking, “I’m standing here in the Calcutta airport and I’m completely naked. The whole world is watching me. I’ve got nothing to hide from this man. He is truly seeing me.” At that time everybody had a garland and they went forward and offered their garlands to Prabhupada. I not only had a garland but also a brass bowl with rose petals that I was supposed to throw in front of Prabhupada as he walked through the airport. When I put the garland around Srila Prabhupada with the bowl in one hand, the bowl inadvertently touched Prabhupada by his right eyebrow making a ting sound. I looked at his eyes and he didn’t even blink. When something comes close to your eyes, what to speak of touching you, everyone will blink. But Prabhupada didn’t even waver. I thought, “Wow, this person is completely peaceful, completely tranquil.” At that time my idea of spiritual life was complete peace and harmony, like if you walk into water and no ripples appear. This spiritual quality is what I was looking for and this was what Prabhupada manifested. A lot of other devotees whom I spoke with at that time had that same experience. They saw what they were looking for in Prabhupada. I don’t think it was Prabhupada manifesting it, but I think Krishna was doing the manifesting. It was as if Krishna was saying, “Here is what you’re looking for. You have found it in my devotee.” I paid my obeisances, and when I got up, everyone was gone. I don’t know how long I had been paying my obeisances, but by the time we got back to Calcutta, Prabhupada was already in the temple giving his arrival address lecture. I thought to myself, “Now I am going to hear Prabhupada. I’ve been reading his books and now I am actually going to see him.” I sat down, and the first thing I heard him say was, “Do not try to see God.” I was baffled. I thought that is what we were supposed to be doing. [laughs] We were all out there seeking and that was the whole idea. We came to look for God. I meet the greatest saint I had met so far, and he was saying, “Do not try to see God.” But then he said, “But you act in such a way that God will see you by the performance of your devotional service.” That instruction was the first lesson I learned from Prabhupada.
One time in Calcutta we held a pandal program in Deshapriya Park. It was during this time that Prabhupada was considered a hero in India because he came back from America with his western disciples. After this particular program in the park, we all went to a typical Bengali household with a courtyard in the middle of the house. Prabhupada was completely relaxed even with all of the commotion of everyone coming in and settling down. I managed to squeeze into the room with Prabhupada as it became packed up with devotees and guests. I was sitting up against the back wall next to Yadubara’s wife, Visakha devi, who was Jean at that time since she had not yet been initiated. We were talking about Krishna consciousness and how great it was. I was also a rather new devotee, and at that time there wasn’t an emphasis on separation of the men and women. I was rapping away with Visakha/Jean and then Prabhupada, by the time he settled in, started looking at the two of us. Actually, he was looking just at me. He had a stern look on his face, and I thought, “Am I doing something wrong?” I thought I must have been doing something wrong since I had just been initiated and wearing saffron cloth of a brahmacari talking to a mataji. There were also many Indian family members in the room as well. It was their culture and I think Prabhupada was being strict. I thought I’d better finish talking and moved away from Visakha. Prabhupada was setting the standard by showing his disapproval at what I was doing even though we were pretty innocent in those days.
At my initiation I remembered three of the four rules and regulations, and then I thought, “What was the last one?” It completely slipped my mind, but after several moments I said, “Oh, intoxication, Prabhupada.” [laughs] It was kind of funny because intoxication was the only thing I was interested in, and I had been in India for a while following the so-called sadhus who were smoking ganja. I was surprised that I said only three of the four prohibitions and I didn’t say the one I wasn’t following at that time. I looked at Prabhupada and smiled, “Oh, no intoxication.” He said, “Okay, good.”
Another thing that Prabhupada didn’t like were the mosquitoes. And there were millions and millions of mosquitoes. We were on the bank of the Ganga, and as soon as we lit the kerosene lamp or a candle, immediately all the bugs and mosquitoes would come. So, we used to burn cow dung to make smoke. Prabhupada quite liked it, but we were all crying, although it didn’t affect him. He said, “My Guru Maharaj used to have his chapatis cooked on this gobar, cow dung patties. It gives them a very nice flavor.” But he would complain sometimes, “If I just put my hand under the mosquito net to get my books, then immediately they’re coming to bite my hand.” Prabhupada was completely unfazed in Mayapur. There was no running water and there was no electricity or anything. He had a jute stick toilet, a hole in the ground with some jute sticks around it. But still he followed exactly the same schedule. He couldn’t use his Dictaphone machine because there was no electricity. He had his typewriter under his mosquito net on his bed and he would type the purports with his two fingers. [laughs] He was unfazed. He got up at the same time, he went out for his morning walk, and he came back and greeted the Deities. Even though there was no facility, it didn’t faze him. He just kept the same regular schedule and maintained it perfectly.
Another time I was in the bhajan-kutir with Prabhupada. At that time there were different groups of spiritualists, or so-called spiritualists. They were Gauranga bhaktas, or what we call apa-sampradayas. There were quite a few of these different groups who would often bring Radha and Krishna pastimes down to a mundane level. This day one of these sadhus played the ekatarah, a one-string, one-wire and one-gourd instrument, singing, “Om jaya jagadisa hare om hari om jaya jagadisa.” Prabhupada asked me, “You know that song?” I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada. I learned it when I was in Kashmir.” He said, “Mayavadi. Go and stop him.” I thought, “Wow.” I was a new devotee. I thought, “But he’s a sadhu. You don’t tell a sadhu to stop chanting.” [laughs] But I had to do it because Prabhupada told me to do it. By the time I walked out, however, that sadhu had already started to leave. [laughs] Prabhupada instructed me about the Temple of Vedic Planetarium, TOVP, in Mayapur. He said, “No Mayavadis can come in. No Mayavadis, no lungis.” Lungi means just a piece of cloth wrapped around the waist. This is the kind of casual wear the Hindus usually wear around their house. “No lungis and no atheists. They cannot come in.” He said, “No Mayavadis, no lungis and no atheists.”
In the bhajan-kutir in 1972, Prabhupada gave me an instruction while he was talking with his managers. He told them, “This Jananivas is an ordinary person. He has to have some help. He cannot do everything.” At that time, I was the only pujari and I had to do everything morning to night. There were hardly any devotees there. But I loved it. However, Prabhupada was considerate when he said, “He should have some help. He cannot do everything.” Then he told me, “You should train up pujaris.” I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.” I didn’t really know what that meant. Then later on in that meeting he again turned to me and said, “So train up pujaris.” I said, “Yes,” even though we really didn’t have any system at that time to train pujaris. There was nothing written down as far as all the mantras that we used. As I was leaving the bhajan-kutir, with one foot inside and one foot outside, I heard “Train up pujaris! Do you hear me?” [laughs] I said, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada.” [laughs] When you get instructions three times, it is a total confirmation.
When Srila Prabhupada arrived in Mayapur one time, Bhavananda prabhu, who was the president then, told Prabhupada that the devotees were taking kaju rasa. Kaju rasa is the sap from the date palm trees that is boiled down and turns into molasses and gaur. It is made hot and the juice is drunk. However, if it is left too long, especially after sunrise, it starts to ferment and becomes alcoholic. So Bhavananda was complaining to Prabhupada, “The devotees are taking this kaju rasa, which is very strong just like whiskey.” Prabhupada said, “Oh, really?” He didn’t say anything more at the time. Then the next morning we were in a darshan with Prabhupada and one devotee named Dwija Hari das, who was a Marine before he joined the movement and kind of a tough guy, said, “Srila Prabhupada, sometimes me and the boys, we take a japa walk down the road where they are making this kaju rasa and we take a few.” [laughs] It was funny the way he said it. It was like, “Me and the boys, we go down to the bar and we knock a few back.” I was laughing at the way he was explaining it to Prabhupada. Prabhupada said, “Oh, really?” Dwija Hari kept saying, “It is really, really good.” Now Prabhupada had to make an executive decision. He heard the management’s side how Bhavananda was trying to stop the drinking of kaju rasa, and then he heard from some of the devotees who liked it. The next morning we went in for darshan with Prabhupada and then Srutakirti prabhu came in with a glass of kaju rasa. He said, “Srila Prabhupada, would you like some kaju rasa?” Prabhupada looked at it and he sniffed it. Prabhupada knew what it was because he was a Bengali and everyone in Bengal knew kaju. Prabhupada tasted the juice. “Oh, it’s quite nice.” He took another sip. “Hmm. Quite nice.” He then told Srutakirti, “Bring me an empty glass.” Srutakirti complied and Prabhupada poured the rest of his into the empty glass, gave it back to Srutakirti, and said, “Pass it around to all the devotees so they can drink it.” [laughs] So all the devotees were sitting around drinking kaju. Bhavananda was sitting there fuming. [laughs] He couldn’t get his way. We saw how Prabhupada would adjust things according to time and circumstance.
In 1973 we had just completed the lotus building in Mayapur. I went to Prabhupada’s room and asked him, “Can Lord Caitanya wear a peacock feather?” He said, “Why not? He is Krishna.” I told him some of the Gaudiya Math people were complaining that Lord Caitanya shouldn’t wear a peacock feather. Srila Prabhupada became very disappointed and he just looked down. He didn’t say anything else. I took it to mean that he was disturbed that his god-brothers always criticized him. In fact, he wrote in one letter, “How can they help when they only hinder us.” It was an open letter. My understanding was that Prabhupada was wondering why they didn’t see what he had accomplished. He picked us out of the gutter of material existence. We had shaved heads, we wore tilak and dhotis, and we were chanting Krishna’s names. In other words, “Look at what he’d done rather than fault finding.” Since that time, I found new evidence where Lord Caitanya is described as wearing a peacock feather. In the Advaita Gauranga Maji by Advaita Acharya, he gives the description of Mahaprabhu in meditation. In the description he says that He has His sikhi-piccha, the peacock feather, in His hair and another one over His ear. [laughs] In the nitya-lila of Mahaprabhu there is a description of how Mahaprabhu goes with His friends on sankirtan after breakfast. They see all the white cows and the peacocks, and He assumes the mood of Krishna when he goes out with the cows in the morning in His Vrindavan-lila. He gets into His cowherd boy mood. [laughs] He starts calling out to all of His cows, “Ah, Shyama he, Dubala he, Ganga he, Yamuna he, come on.” [laughs] All the devotees would inquire, “What’s happening?” “Oh, He’s in the mood of Krishna in Vrindavan.” The devotees were all assuming the same mood as Mahaprabhu. They would pick up sticks and start twirling them around like the cowherd boys do. “Hi, hi, hi, let’s go up to Govardhan.” Nityananda Prabhu tends to have a buffalo horn, “Woo, woo, woo, Govardhan he.” In that description Lord Caitanya wears a peacock feather. Also, Prabhupada asked Malati mataji one time, “Why Lord Caitanya is not wearing a peacock feather?” She said, “Oh, He should be wearing?” He said, “Yes.” She asked, “What about Nityananda Prabhu?” He said, “Sometimes He could wear, but Lord Caitanya should always wear.” So now we had guru, sadhu and shastra. It became a little bit controversial.
Prabhupada asked me one time, “How are you all worshiping the Deity?” I gave a step-by-step explanation. I said, “We are undressing the Deities, we bathe the deities with tilak and some lemon juice, we polish Them, and then we bathe Them. He then asked, “What mantras are you using?” I said, “We chant chintamani prayers, Prabhupada.” “Oh.” I said, “Also we always chant Brahma Gayatri as the first thing.” Prabhupada said, “Brahma Gayatri, Vedic Om, is there, very good.” [laughs] I said, “Then we dry the Deity.” Prabhupada said, “Yes, then at that time you should offer Tulasi leaves to Krishna’s feet.” Prabhupada’s instruction about when to offer Tulasi leaves to Krishna is not found in other archana-paddhatis. The offering of the Tulasi generally comes up after the bathing, the dressing, the ornamentation, offering scents and things like that. Then the pujari offers flowers and Tulasi at that time. But Prabhupada said to offer Tulasi leaves after having bathed and dried Krishna. Prabhupada made sure we were performing our Deity worship properly, especially the offering of Tulasi leaves. If we offer Tulasi, then Krishna is very satisfied. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura exemplified the importance of offering Tulasi devi when he was installing some Deities in one of his Gaudiya Maths. His disciples did all the preparations, bathed the Deities, and got everything ready. Then they called in their Guru Maharaj to come and do the prana-pratistha, which is the official calling of the Lord. The process is that the acharya comes and he calls the Lord of his heart, who is usually the Deity of the sampradaya. He calls the Deity from his heart into the Deity on the altar. This is called the prana-pratistha, the official installation, the calling of the Lord. The disciples said, “Guru Maharaj, you can come and do the prana-pratistha.” He came in to perform the prana-pratistha and he looked and saw the Tulasi leaves on Krishna’s feet. He said, “Oh, now I have nothing to do,” which indicated that he thought that Tulasi was the prime offering for Krishna, even more important than the prana-pratistha.
Around 1972 one devotee brought some Govardhan-silas from Govardhan Hill to Mayapur. Achyutananda said, “Oh, great. We always wanted to worship Govardhan-sila.” We wrote to Prabhupada, “We have Govardhan-silas here now in Mayapur, so can we put Them on the altar?” Prabhupada wrote back immediately, “Take Them back to Vrindavan.” According to my research, there were never any Govardhan-silas worshiped in any temple during Srila Prabhupada’s time. Another time a devotee in America wrote to Srila Prabhupada and asked, “I have Govardhan-silas. Can I put Them on the altar?” Prabhupada replied, “When I come, then I will see.” When he came, he said, “No.” But now They are everywhere. Anyway, Prabhupada told us to take Them back to Vrindavan.
Another time, probably in 1973, Srila Prabhupada told me, “You can offer prayers in your own language, if you like.” According to the shastra, you can only speak to the Deity in Devanagari, the Sanskrit language. In the Bhavisya Purana, bhavisya means “in the future.” It is stated there that, “One saffron clad man will come from India and he will teach the Vedas in the language of the mlecchas.” [laughs] English is the language of the mlecchas. “And he will initiate with fire.” Generally, when a disciple receives the Gayatri mantra, it’s a samskara that needs a fire sacrifice. Prabhupada used a fire sacrifice for the first initiation as well, which is not mentioned in the Vedas. It’s for the Gayatri mantras. But for the Holy Name, Prabhupada used a fire sacrifice that is unique, but is spoken of in the Bhavisya Purana. So the Bhavisya Purana indicates Prabhupada and his mission.
I had just shaven my head, taken a bath, put on clean cloth and fresh tilak when a devotee came in and said, “Prabhupada wants to see you in his room.” I went upstairs to see Srila Prabhupada. I came in, paid my obeisances and asked, “Did you want to see me, Srila Prabhupada?” He was looking at me with sparkling eyes. He was very happy looking me up and down. I thought, “Is he looking at someone else?” [laughs] But I think it was just my appearance. I think Prabhupada thought that a few years ago we were rotting in the gutter. And now we were wearing tilak and clean-shaven. He seemed to be very pleased. So perhaps you can please your guru just by your dress. [laughs]
Prabhupada never directly instructed us to worship Govardhan, but he said you should send Govardhan-sila back to Govardhan Hill. Whereas, with Saligram-sila he specifically said in his books that temples with sufficient facility should start Saligram-sila worship. Mayapur was the first temple that Prabhupada instructed to start worshiping the Saligram-sila. He said, “See if you can get some sila from some friend.” Jayapataka Maharaj had one Saligram that we brought into Srila Prabhupada’s room. Jayapataka Maharaj said, “We have this Saligram, Srila Prabhupada.” Prabhupada took the Saligram and he touched it to his head. Then he did a puja for the Saligram-sila right where he was sitting at his desk. He didn’t even get up from his seat. He made some tilak paste and he took a matchstick and painted a little face on the Saligram with little eyes, a little nose, a little M-shaped mouth like a seagull and some little gopi dots. Jayapataka Maharaj had some very fine silk cloth from Santipura and Prabhupada folded it a bit like a dhoti. Then he turned his tilak container upside down to make a throne. He put the dhoti on the Saligram-sila and then he folded the other piece of cloth to make a little chaddar. So Prabhupada took whatever was at his desk and he performed a puja. Then Prabhupada took his garland off, his own garland, and put it around the Saligram. Prabhupada proceeded to give us some instructions about this worship. He said that in the month of Vaisakha, in the summertime, we should do what we call Tulasi-Saligram-jaladan. Water is dripped on Saligram and also on Tulasi Devi in the hot countries, as it is a cooling pastime. He said, “You can pick the Tulasi leaves in the morning after sunrise.” He said, “Put Tulasi between damp cloths and they will stay fresh the whole day.” He said, “The brahmanas carry the Saligram around in a little box or in a bag.” And then he said, “They go around to different places and then they open up the box and they chant some mantras. And again they put to sleep and again they go to another place and they open and they give mantra, again sleeping.” He said, “This is Saligram puja: mantra, sleeping, mantra, sleeping.” [laughs] Prabhupada started to laugh. We had this Saligram on the altar, but nobody knew what a Saligram was because there were hardly any Indian devotees coming forward at that time. Devotees would ask, “Is it Lord Jagannatha?” I said, “Yeah, I guess so. I guess he is the Lord of the universe. I mean He is black and He has got these white eyes.” Then some Indian devotees said, “This is Narayana-sila, Krishna-sila.” I was getting confused, so I went to ask Prabhupada. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, may I ask you a question?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Some people say that Saligram is Krishna and some people say that He is Narayana.” Prabhupada said in a heavy tone, “Forget ‘Some say.’” [laughs] I bowed my way out, understanding the seriousness of his mood. Prabhupada always wanted his disciples to accept a bona fide authority as opposed to speculation. [laughs] But two days later he sent me a message and he said, “Tell the pujari he should offer the flute to Saligram.” He was indicating that we want to worship Saligram-sila as Krishna.
I had just shaven my head, taken a bath, put on clean cloth and fresh tilak when a devotee came in and said, “Prabhupada wants to see you in his room.” I went upstairs to see Srila Prabhupada. I came in, paid my obeisances and asked, “Did you want to see me, Srila Prabhupada?” He was looking at me with sparkling eyes. He was very happy looking me up and down. I thought, “Is he looking at someone else?” [laughs] But I think it was just my appearance. I think Prabhupada thought that a few years ago we were rotting in the gutter. And now we were wearing tilak and clean-shaven. He seemed to be very pleased. So perhaps you can please your guru just by your dress. [laughs]
Prabhupada never directly instructed us to worship Govardhan, but he said you should send Govardhan-sila back to Govardhan Hill. Whereas, with Saligram-sila he specifically said in his books that temples with sufficient facility should start Saligram-sila worship. Mayapur was the first temple that Prabhupada instructed to start worshiping the Saligram-sila. He said, “See if you can get some sila from some friend.” Jayapataka Maharaj had one Saligram that we brought into Srila Prabhupada’s room. Jayapataka Maharaj said, “We have this Saligram, Srila Prabhupada.” Prabhupada took the Saligram and he touched it to his head. Then he did a puja for the Saligram-sila right where he was sitting at his desk. He didn’t even get up from his seat. He made some tilak paste and he took a matchstick and painted a little face on the Saligram with little eyes, a little nose, a little M-shaped mouth like a seagull and some little gopi dots. Jayapataka Maharaj had some very fine silk cloth from Santipura and Prabhupada folded it a bit like a dhoti. Then he turned his tilak container upside down to make a throne. He put the dhoti on the Saligram-sila and then he folded the other piece of cloth to make a little chaddar. So Prabhupada took whatever was at his desk and he performed a puja. Then Prabhupada took his garland off, his own garland, and put it around the Saligram. Prabhupada proceeded to give us some instructions about this worship. He said that in the month of Vaisakha, in the summertime, we should do what we call Tulasi-Saligram-jaladan. Water is dripped on Saligram and also on Tulasi Devi in the hot countries, as it is a cooling pastime. He said, “You can pick the Tulasi leaves in the morning after sunrise.” He said, “Put Tulasi between damp cloths and they will stay fresh the whole day.” He said, “The brahmanas carry the Saligram around in a little box or in a bag.” And then he said, “They go around to different places and then they open up the box and they chant some mantras. And again they put to sleep and again they go to another place and they open and they give mantra, again sleeping.” He said, “This is Saligram puja: mantra, sleeping, mantra, sleeping.” [laughs] Prabhupada started to laugh. We had this Saligram on the altar, but nobody knew what a Saligram was because there were hardly any Indian devotees coming forward at that time. Devotees would ask, “Is it Lord Jagannatha?” I said, “Yeah, I guess so. I guess he is the Lord of the universe. I mean He is black and He has got these white eyes.” Then some Indian devotees said, “This is Narayana-sila, Krishna-sila.” I was getting confused, so I went to ask Prabhupada. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, may I ask you a question?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Some people say that Saligram is Krishna and some people say that He is Narayana.” Prabhupada said in a heavy tone, “Forget ‘Some say.’” [laughs] I bowed my way out, understanding the seriousness of his mood. Prabhupada always wanted his disciples to accept a bona fide authority as opposed to speculation. [laughs] But two days later he sent me a message and he said, “Tell the pujari he should offer the flute to Saligram.” He was indicating that we want to worship Saligram-sila as Krishna.
I had just shaven my head, taken a bath, put on clean cloth and fresh tilak when a devotee came in and said, “Prabhupada wants to see you in his room.” I went upstairs to see Srila Prabhupada. I came in, paid my obeisances and asked, “Did you want to see me, Srila Prabhupada?” He was looking at me with sparkling eyes. He was very happy looking me up and down. I thought, “Is he looking at someone else?” [laughs] But I think it was just my appearance. I think Prabhupada thought that a few years ago we were rotting in the gutter. And now we were wearing tilak and clean-shaven. He seemed to be very pleased. So perhaps you can please your guru just by your dress. [laughs]
Prabhupada never directly instructed us to worship Govardhan, but he said you should send Govardhan-sila back to Govardhan Hill. Whereas, with Saligram-sila he specifically said in his books that temples with sufficient facility should start Saligram-sila worship. Mayapur was the first temple that Prabhupada instructed to start worshiping the Saligram-sila. He said, “See if you can get some sila from some friend.” Jayapataka Maharaj had one Saligram that we brought into Srila Prabhupada’s room. Jayapataka Maharaj said, “We have this Saligram, Srila Prabhupada.” Prabhupada took the Saligram and he touched it to his head. Then he did a puja for the Saligram-sila right where he was sitting at his desk. He didn’t even get up from his seat. He made some tilak paste and he took a matchstick and painted a little face on the Saligram with little eyes, a little nose, a little M-shaped mouth like a seagull and some little gopi dots. Jayapataka Maharaj had some very fine silk cloth from Santipura and Prabhupada folded it a bit like a dhoti. Then he turned his tilak container upside down to make a throne. He put the dhoti on the Saligram-sila and then he folded the other piece of cloth to make a little chaddar. So Prabhupada took whatever was at his desk and he performed a puja. Then Prabhupada took his garland off, his own garland, and put it around the Saligram. Prabhupada proceeded to give us some instructions about this worship. He said that in the month of Vaisakha, in the summertime, we should do what we call Tulasi-Saligram-jaladan. Water is dripped on Saligram and also on Tulasi Devi in the hot countries, as it is a cooling pastime. He said, “You can pick the Tulasi leaves in the morning after sunrise.” He said, “Put Tulasi between damp cloths and they will stay fresh the whole day.” He said, “The brahmanas carry the Saligram around in a little box or in a bag.” And then he said, “They go around to different places and then they open up the box and they chant some mantras. And again they put to sleep and again they go to another place and they open and they give mantra, again sleeping.” He said, “This is Saligram puja: mantra, sleeping, mantra, sleeping.” [laughs] Prabhupada started to laugh. We had this Saligram on the altar, but nobody knew what a Saligram was because there were hardly any Indian devotees coming forward at that time. Devotees would ask, “Is it Lord Jagannatha?” I said, “Yeah, I guess so. I guess he is the Lord of the universe. I mean He is black and He has got these white eyes.” Then some Indian devotees said, “This is Narayana-sila, Krishna-sila.” I was getting confused, so I went to ask Prabhupada. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, may I ask you a question?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Some people say that Saligram is Krishna and some people say that He is Narayana.” Prabhupada said in a heavy tone, “Forget ‘Some say.’” [laughs] I bowed my way out, understanding the seriousness of his mood. Prabhupada always wanted his disciples to accept a bona fide authority as opposed to speculation. [laughs] But two days later he sent me a message and he said, “Tell the pujari he should offer the flute to Saligram.” He was indicating that we want to worship Saligram-sila as Krishna.
Every evening I would take a pot with coals, charcoal and frankincense and go into Prabhupada’s room after first offering it to the Deities. I would make the frankincense into powder to give it much more smoke. Prabhupada loved it and said, “Give me more, give more.” It would become very thick, so I asked, “Shall I open the windows and doors, Prabhupada?” “No, no, it’s okay.” “Shall I turn on the fan?” Again he said, “No,” because he liked it. In Bengal, at least, if you put smoke in the room, turn the lights off, open the doors and the windows, and put the fan on, immediately all of the mosquitoes, whoosh, fly out of the room. But Prabhupada always said, “No, keep the windows and doors closed.” The last time when Prabhupada was in Mayapur in 1977, I took the smoke into Prabhupada’s room, starting under his desk and then all around the rooms. I was sitting by Prabhupada’s side as he was chanting japa very softly, “Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna…” You could hear Prabhupada’s beads clicking with each mantra as the beads rattled in his bead bag. Then he opened his eyes, looked up at me, and said, “This smoke gives such an atmosphere of spiritual understanding. This is so nice, so nice, so nice. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna…” After all these years I finally understood that the smoke had nothing to do with the mosquitoes. [laughs] Prabhupada just allowed it because of the spiritual atmosphere it created. We thought it was to get rid of the mosquitoes.
Prabhupada was presenting the absolute truth. In those days we were seeking the “promised land.” Prabhupada came and told us what is the “promised land.” Here is Krishna, the Supreme. The “promised land” is Goloka, and we are all going back home, back to Godhead. I completely accepted it. This is what we were searching for and Prabhupada, and no one else, was giving that knowledge. Prabhupada gave us seva, which was his main thing. He came to give seva that no one else was giving because people don’t like to hear that “I am the servant.” [laughs] They would lose all their followers if they told everyone, “You are servants.” But Prabhupada was the only one who brought us seva, so I immediately accepted. As I read Prabhupada’s books, what stood out for me was the clarity of the message: “You are the eternal servant of Krishna. Krishna is the Supreme Lord and you’re His servant.” I thought to myself, “I’ll try devotional service for two years and just absorb myself in service. Then after two years, I’ll reconsider and see whether I want to stay or not.” But everything felt so good and right. Krishna fulfilled my desire, and he sent me to Mayapur [laughs] where I had to be fully absorbed twenty-four hours a day. I had no option, as there were no other pujaris. I was just completely absorbed, and then two years went by, then twenty, then forty. [laughs] I thought, “Gee, I was supposed to have a reassessment after two years.” [laughs] I forgot all about that. But that is how timeless the process of devotional service is.
