Kalpalatika: I first saw Srila Prabhupada at the airport in 1974 when he was arriving for Ratha-yatra. It was very crowded but I remember noticing Srila Prabhupada as much smaller than I expected from seeing his pictures. I just felt, however, very grateful that I could finally see my spiritual master. When I saw him again on the Ratha-yatra cart, I did have a chance to have direct eye contact with my guru. I’ll never forget it.
It was 1974, July, and I had traveled by traveling sankirtan from Dallas to Washington, D.C. to get my brahmin initiation from Srila Prabhupada. The system was that you went up to his quarters and Srila Prabhupada personally gave you the gayatri mantra. I was very excited that I was going to finally be alone with my spiritual master. I had tried to think of a deep, philosophical question that I could ask him. I don’t know how deep it was but when it was my turn to go in, I saw Srila Prabhupada sitting on a cushion behind a low table. He was so effulgent and beautiful and I just felt so much awe that I became very nervous. I paid my obeisances, put the guru-dakshin and the flowers on his table, and then I stood up. Srila Prabhupada was looking at me right in the eyes, and like with so many different devotees, you had the sense that he was just looking right into your heart, seeing all the dirt that’s there and just everything about your soul. Then Srila Prabhupada asked me a question but I couldn’t understand what he said. I said, “Excuse me, Srila Prabhupada?” He said the question again and I still couldn’t understand him. I had never had trouble understanding Srila Prabhupada before, but the one time I’m alone with him I can’t understand what he’s saying. I had to ask him a third time, “Srila Prabhupada, I’m sorry, I just don’t understand what you’re saying.” Finally I understood that he was just asking, “Are there any more people out there waiting to be initiated?” I said, “No, Srila Prabhupada.” At this point I wasn’t going to ask him any deep, philosophical questions. Then he asked me to come and sit right beside him which I did. I was feeling overwhelmed to be sitting right next to the Jagat Guru, my spiritual master. He said to me, “So you know how to do this?” and he moved his fingers like you do for gayatri mantra. I said, “Oh yes, Srila Prabhupada,” but then when I tried to do it, I couldn’t because I was too overwhelmed. So he took his hand and moved my fingers for me, which was really so kind. My realization was that even though I was acting like such a fool in front of my spiritual master, he was never impatient or angry or disturbed or disgusted. He was just kind and compassionate whereby I truly felt how Srila Prabhupada had unconditional love for me.
In Dallas Srila Prabhupada was visiting and one afternoon he was giving a lecture in his garden. I wanted to go hear him but my authorities said, “Better you just do your service. That will please Srila Prabhupada.” So this other devotee and I went upstairs to make flower garlands. Finally we looked at each other and thought, “Are we crazy? We can do this at midnight if we have to. When will we have the opportunity to hear our spiritual master again?” We ran down the stairs and peeked through a bamboo fence that was in front of the garden. Srila Prabhupada wasn’t that far away so we could actually hear him. All of a sudden Srila Prabhupada turned around and looked at us and said, “Who is that?” I thought, “Oh no, now I’m in trouble.” Somebody peeked out and said to Prabhupada, “It’s two matajis.” Srila Prabhupada said, “Oh, ask them to come in.” It was packed but they had to squeeze over and let us in because Srila Prabhupada had personally asked us. I don’t remember anything from that lecture except that one boy asked Srila Prabhupada, “Why is Krishna blue?” Srila Prabhupada said, “Because He wants to be.”
The one quality that I always believe Srila Prabhupada had that made him stand out from everybody else was how he really loved us. He exhibited his love in all his dealings with the devotees. No matter what we did, he still loved us.
