Malati devi dasi Remembers Srila Prabhupada

Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01

Malati: The first thing he said that struck me was a few straightforward words, spoken without condemnation or opinion, but as a simple fact. If it was raining now, for example, and I said, “Oh, it’s raining outside,” it would be a simple fact. You may or may not like the rain, but the fact is that it’s raining. In the same way he said to us, “There is no love in this material world.” We were all from the hippie generation, and the thrust of the hippie movement, particularly in San Francisco, was love. Every living entity is searching for love. Even little animals can’t go without love. If you have an animal in your house and you ignore it, that animal becomes despondent. Every living creature in this world needs love and innately desires to seek and find love through relationship, through creating a loving situation with others. But all of us have been disappointed. We have all been in love, or almost been in love, or thought we had been in love, only to find that the love was gone, the love was lost. The person we loved went away. That propensity to love brought sorrow, yet that wasn’t what love should be or was supposed to be. We hadn’t found love. So when he said, “There is no love in this material world,” it was such a simple and yet profound statement. It brought great relief to my heart. I didn’t have to look anymore. I didn’t have to think about it anymore. It wasn’t there. And it wasn’t a negative statement, because he went on to explain that the reason we were not finding love was because we didn’t understand what love was. He told us that real love was found in our relationship with Krishna. That was my first strong memory.

We didn’t know very much about Vaishnava etiquette, and we had to get a fire ceremony together, although we had never seen one before. We were told what to get. The first thing was ghee. I found out that it was butter, and that it was going to be put into the fire. I thought, “My God, what a waste.” The whole thing seemed bizarre. But we got the various items together, and Prabhupada performed the yajna. He gave the four of us bananas. We looked at each other, “What do you do with the banana? Well, you peel it.” Somebody came up hurriedly and told us, “No. You put it in the fire.” Okay. We put it in the fire. The next thing you know he said, “Bow down. Bow down,” but his accent was thick. There you are, you have just gotten a new name, you’ve just gotten your neck beads on, the fire is crackling, and “Bow down. Bow down.” We were looking at each other again, “What to do? What to do?” Then Haridas figured it out. He got on his hands and knees and we all got on our hands and knees and started blowing the fire right on Srila Prabhupada’s face. Srila Prabhupada’s eyes could become saucer-like, humongous, and at this time they got very large. He picked up his kartals and started a kirtan. Of course he was asking us to bow down. But we had no concept or instruction on Vaishnava etiquette. This was the third fire ceremony, and we were confused souls exhibiting our confusion through this completely astounding behavior.

In the beginning we were curious about how to chant. What do you do when you chant, and what do you think? Srila Prabhupada said, “Two things. You don’t do anything, and you don’t think anything. You simply hear.” To this day my endeavor is somehow or other to hear this chanting.

Anything from India was exotic and attractive to us. If it came from India, we thought, it must have something to do with Srila Prabhupada, because he was from India too. This was a whole new realm of mysticism. One day an aerogram came, and Janaki took it to Prabhupada, but we were just dying to know what it said, because it was from India. After a while we both went in, and we saw that it had been opened. We were waiting for him to tell us what it said. Why wouldn’t he want to tell us about this aerogram from India? But he didn’t say anything. Finally Janaki said, “Swamiji, you got a letter from India?” He said, “Yes.” “Was it good news?” He said, “Yes.” “What was it?” we asked. He said, “My sister has died. She was a pure devotee. She was a Vaishnava.” We were stunned. Suddenly we realized that Prabhupada’s connection with Krishna was on the absolute level. We got a glimpse of eternity, a glimpse of being part of an eternal connection. And we got a glimpse that there was no loss.

When we first arrived in Mayapur, it was the days of the huts with the thatched roofs, the water pump, and the mud everywhere. Srila Prabhupada was staying in the brick hut. My husband, Shyamasundar, was his secretary, and I was his cook. I had always wanted to be his cook, and Krishna had rewarded me. But in Mayapur I was faced with not only service of guru, but service of husband, service of daughter, and trying to maintain my sanity in the situation. Materially it was impossible. There was no facility. I was living in a tent. I had two buckets of water to cook with and the servant would come every day and grab one of the buckets before the meal ended to heat water for Prabhupada’s bath. Each day I had to confront the treasurer, whose duty it was to not give money, and I would usually have a royal argument with him concerning funds for Srila Prabhupada’s bhoga. Then, while going to buy the bhoga, I would have an argument concerning money with the riksha-wala, with the boatman, with the vegetable walas, because they all expected ten times the proper amount from a white person. I had to fight with everybody I dealt with. To double my anxiety, which was already at peak level, Prabhupada’s servant would come and take away the stove just before lunch. On top of that, every day I was thinking, “How can I please Srila Prabhupada?” I really wanted to cook perfectly for him. I would think about it all day. Even when I wasn’t cooking, I would be planning for the next day, “How can I do it perfectly?” And it seemed as if every single day he told me something that I was doing imperfectly. One day there was too much salt. The next day there was too little. I started thinking, “What am I doing? I can’t do it right. Everything I do is wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t be cooking. Yeah, someone else should be cooking. I will tell Prabhupada to get someone else, or I will get someone else who can do it better.” I started feeling relieved. All I had to do was tell Prabhupada, and that was it. The next day I went into his room full of this idea. His God-brothers were coming for lunch that day. Another source of my anxiety was that Prabhupada’s God-brothers were criticizing Prabhupada for many things, and one of them was that Prabhupada had a female cook. I was the cook, and therefore I felt badly about that too. Since his God-brothers were coming for lunch I thought, “He certainly won’t have me cook today. I will tell him tomorrow.” But he called me into the room and started telling me what he wanted for lunch. So, I went to make the lunch, and I brought it in. He was sitting at the end of the room like a royal king, and on each side of him were old, stately Vaishnavas with dandas. It was an impressive sight. I felt completely intimidated, but I had to go in. I entirely covered my head and hands with my sari, and I got down on the floor on my hands and knees. I curled in with the plate, put it down, offered obeisances, and started slithering back out. Then I heard Srila Prabhupada say, “Yes, she cooks for me, and all I do is criticize her. But she would slit her throat for me, and I would do the same for her.” When he said that, I completely disintegrated. By the time I got to the other door, my sari was wet with tears. I realized how mundane my consciousness had been and how my anxiety had been based upon a misunderstanding of the relationship between the guru and the disciple. Every day I had been thinking, “How can I do it perfectly? What would he want?” and he was telling me. He wasn’t criticizing me. I was just taking it in a mundane way. But because I wanted to know how it could be more pleasing to him, he told me. I was in illusion as to the position of a disciple and what the relationship of servitude meant. It is not, “You pat me on my back.” That was my misconception. When I heard Srila Prabhupada say that, I realized that it was absolutely true. There was no doubt about it. My mood was that I would have done anything for him. But it had never occurred to me how Prabhupada would also do anything for us. Then I realized that he was already doing everything for us. My insignificance at that point was immense, along with my gratitude and love for him. The potential for love was certainly revealed to me.

During the early days when we were trying to understand and follow the initial principles, Shyamasundar was carving the first Jagannath Deities. To see how the work was going, Prabhupada surprised us by visiting us in our apartment. He was looking at this Deity, that Deity, and the other Deity. All three of Them. On top of Balaram’s head was a package of Pall Malls. Prabhupada said, “What is that?” Shyamasundar said, “Oh.” Prabhupada said, “That is all right. It is very difficult to give up smoking. But why not smoke one less cigarette every day?” He said, “Don’t let such a small thing as a little cigarette stand between you and Krishna.” It was a loving, gentle instruction, and it was very clear. Shyamasundar followed that instruction. Prabhupada was tolerant, but at the same time he didn’t say, “Yes, go on smoking.” He explained how to stop smoking. It was a positive way of prohibiting smoking.

On the Vrindavan parikram, Prabhupada and all the devotees stopped at a dharmshala near Govardhan Hill. Prabhupada went into a room to have his massage while I cooked for him on the veranda. The system was that as soon as Prabhupada finished his massage, we would have his lunch ready. I only had so much fuel and so much chapati dough, and it was a tight schedule. Anyway, I had it ready, and we all sat down, the brahmacharis and sannyasis on one side and the grihasthas on the other. Just as we started to eat, two dogs began to bark, “Woof, woof, woof.” Some sannyasis and a couple of brahmacharis got up to save us from these dogs. Prabhupada said, “No, stop,” and he took his chapati, tore it in half, and gave one half to one dog and the other half to the other. Then he said, “Hut!” and they walked away. He turned to us and said, “You never know who they are, these dogs in Vrindavan.” It was intense because we suddenly had a glimpse of the fact that we were in the holy dham and, while we were seeing dogs, Prabhupada was seeing spirit souls, and we didn’t know who they were. Prabhupada didn’t discriminate. He didn’t play with dogs, he didn’t have them in his house, but he didn’t kick them either. He didn’t treat anybody in a mean way. One time in Mayapur Prabhhupada learned that the devotees were beating dogs, and he said, “The devotees who were doing that should be beaten.” Meanwhile, in their ignorance, the devotees had been proud of their dog beating activity. Prabhupada always had genuine concern. His concern was not a superficial pat on the head. He wasn’t ever falsely sympathetic or sentimentally sympathetic.

Prabhupada was personally instructing Yamuna in Deity worship. One night Yamuna was doing the arati to Prabhupada’s little Deities. She offered the flower to the Deities and then gave it to Srila Prabhupada. At that time my daughter Sarasvati started to leave the room, and Prabhupada threw the flower at her, hitting her on the back of her head. She picked it up, marched over to him and popped the flower in his mouth. Prabhupada smiled at her. Purushotam was also there and later mentioned that this incident was one of many reasons why he left Prabhupada’s service. He thought that his spiritual master shouldn’t behave frivolously with a female during arati. Saraswati went to Calcutta when she was four and a half, and Prabhupada would sometimes tease her, “I am going to put a stamp on your forehead and send you to the gurukula.” She would say, “No. No.” “Yes. I will put a stamp on your forehead and you will go to gurukula.” Eventually she did go to gurukula, but her father took her. A year later she came to visit me in India, and when Srila Prabhupada saw her he said, “Oh, you have come back from gurukula. Recite something.” She recited the first verse from the First Canto of the Bhagavatam.” He was pleased with her. “Yes very good. You must always speak like that.” Then he handed me twenty rupees and said, “Here, buy her a dress.” I said, “No. I can’t take this money from you, Srila Prabhupada.” “No. You must buy her a new dress.”

Another mystical experience I had with Srila Prabhupada was after Shyamasundar and I were released from prison. We couldn’t believe what had happened, but we had been sentenced to five years and we had to go. Totally inexplicably, after twenty-four days, we were released. Even the parole officer did not know why we were getting out. I was hesitating to sign the paper, because I didn’t know what it was, and she said, “It’s your release.” I signed it fast, and she said, “I don’t know why you’re being released, because I wouldn’t have approved. It went over my head.” We immediately went to San Francisco. Prabhupada had arrived from India while we were in prison, and the devotees told us, “Hurry up. Prabhupada is here.” We ran home, got changed, and went to see him on Carl Street. I knocked on his door, and he said, “Oh, Malati. Come in. Just last night I was thinking that five years was too much.” He said to Upendra or Kartikeya, “Bring that.” It was his case. He pulled out a sari and gave it to me, a white Bengali sari with a green and red border. It was amazing.

The special quality Srila Prabhupada had, that set him apart from all others, was his loving exchanges. We had contacted other teachers who were purporting some form of so-called spirituality but who were actually “chewing the chewed,” to use Prabhupada’s phrase. There was no spiritual taste from these people. Srila Prabhupada gave us spiritual life. He didn’t come to exploit, but he genuinely cared and was concerned for everyone who came to him. We definitely felt that. Never before, from anyone else in our lives, not even our own parents, had we felt the love and care and concern that Srila Prabhupada had for us. Krishna consciousness was a process of falling in love with Srila Prabhupada. We were responding to the warm, deep, great love that he offered us.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 08 - Revatinandana, Malati dd, Chitsukananda, Yadubara

Interview 02

Malati: Once we were getting ready for the first Radhastami at Bury Place. There was a big pot of the famous chutney, Radha Red, on the kitchen floor. My daughter ran into the kitchen and fell into this chutney which was hot off the stove. Some of the devotees were upset because they thought that we couldn’t offer the chutney. They thought that the whole pot was destroyed. Prabhupada heard about it, immediately called me, and said, “Take her to the doctor.” Prabhupada was immediately concerned and practical. Others were thinking, “What do we do about the chutney?” But Prabhupada’s thought was, “What do we do about the child?” To this day my daughter has scars from that chutney.

Just before our departure to London, we went to Srila Prabhupada’s apartment and requested his blessings. He was sitting on a low asana and had a big garland on. We were allowed to put our head to his feet, and he put his hands on our head. Then, laughing, he put out his arms and asked me to give him my child, Saraswati. Prabhupada held her by his chest, with his face and her face both facing forward. He encircled Saraswati with his garland while he was still wearing it, and then he smiled largely and said, “They will say, ‘What kind of sannyasi is he?’” He was referring to his God-brothers. He had just spoken to us about how his God-brothers had been sent to London and how they could not get anything done. He said, “The sannyasis have gone. I now am sending grihasthas.”

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 15 - The 1996 NYC and LA Reunions

Interview 03

Malati: One morning Prabhupada’s door was a little bit ajar. Since his door was never open I was feeling hesitant, almost fearful, “Why is his door open?” I pushed it a little to look inside, not knowing what to expect. I didn’t see anything but suddenly I heard Srila Prabhupada say, “Malati, come in, come in. We are watching TV.” I went in and he said, “We are going to watch them land on the moon.” I was supposed to be making breakfast but I sat down and watched them land on the moon. Immediately afterwards Prabhupada had the TV turned off and said, “They did not go.” He looked at the television and said, “This is an idiot box and it has made idiots of us.” Of course, that statement, “They did not go,” became quite controversial. There were devotees, including his servant Purusottam, who could not accept Prabhupada’s statement and cited it as a reason for their departure from devotional service. Two years ago in West Virginia—not the most enlightened state—I saw a newspaper headline, “They Did Not Go to the Moon,” and an article written by two former NASA scientists. (NASA is the space agency that backed the moon landing.) The article showed a picture of the moon landing and gave evidence that anyone could understand about why they did not go to the moon. First, there is dust on the moon, so when the spaceship came down, there should have been a huge crater made from the force of the landing. But in the picture the surface is completely smooth and there are no footprints from the astronauts. Second, the shadows of the astronauts are in the wrong direction for the time of day that the picture was taken. Third, in the background you could see a metal apparatus that was holding a light. It was like a stage and once you were informed about it you could clearly see this apparatus holding the light. The writers of the article said that the actual location was some desert test site in either Nevada or Arizona. So Srila Prabhupada needs no vindication, but for those people who doubted his word, he was certainly vindicated. I always wondered if the people who left because of his statement about the moon are back now.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 47 - Twenty Disciples Remembering SP

Interview 04

Malati: At that time we didn’t have mangal arati at 4:30 a.m., but we had it at 7:00 a.m. And all day we were busy with service. One morning Prabhupada asked all of us if we were chanting sixteen rounds (we had already been initiated). I answered honestly, “Well, not always. We try,” and I said that somehow we found it difficult. Prabhupada said, “Difficult? Why difficult?” I said, “Because we have so much to do.” Prabhupada said, “Sleep less.” He didn’t tell us to stop any of our service or to cut down on the service. He got right to the point, “sleep less.” I repeated that to make sure that I understood what he said. “In other words, Swamiji, we shouldn’t sleep so much. We’re sleeping too much.” He said, “Yes.” That was striking. We had taken vows, and we understood they were vows, but at the same time it was as if we thought, “Maybe later we’ll be able to do all of these things, not immediately.” But Prabhupada saw it as an immediate necessity.

I was honored and privileged to be Srila Prabhupada’s driver. We had one donated car, and, coming from our poverty-stricken hippie background, you can imagine what kind of a donation that was. It was a 1954 Ford, and for some reason the seats wouldn’t go up straight. You leaned back holding on to the wheel, and at anytime the trunk and the hood could fly up. We proudly stenciled “Hare Krishna” on each door. This was our Krishna car, and this was what Srila Prabhupada was transported in. Once while I was driving I said, “Srila Prabhupada, do you know how to drive?” He said, “No.” But he told me he owned two cars. I thought it was mystical that he had these cars but he didn’t drive. When I got to India I found out that generally a car owner hires a driver. So, Srila Prabhupada had a driver for his cars. But in those days we thought that Swamiji didn’t do things like we do them. Maybe he sat down in his car and it went where he wanted. I would take Prabhupada on an elevated roadway. He called it “the road in the sky.” I sensed that he liked to go fast on that road, and whenever I took him anywhere I would somehow manage to get on that road even if it was totally out of the way. We were so eager to do anything we could to please Srila Prabhupada. Whether someone was a devotee or a non-devotee, everyone who contacted Srila Prabhupada wanted to offer him something.

After Lord Jagannath appeared in the temple, there was a simple installation ceremony. The room was quite tall, and the altar was a high platform with a canopy over it that Shyamasundar had constructed at Prabhupada’s request, and as an added touch there were some lights. Prabhupada said there must be lights, so we put flashers in the light bulbs so the light bulbs blinked on and off, on and off. Srila Prabhupada liked these flashing lights on the Deities. We didn’t dress Them, as Prabhupada hadn’t explained that to us yet. They were up there as They are. Prabhupada said, “Now, you must offer all your food to Them. They must have their own plate, and nobody else should eat from that plate.” This was the beginning of Deity worship in ISKCON. For the installation ceremony we simply put Them on Their altar, closed the curtain, opened it, and everybody took turns offering a brass tray with a candle on it by circling it before the Deities while someone rang a bell. We didn’t know to touch the flame and then touch our head, but that was the installation of Lord Jagannath. There is a famous picture of Srila Prabhupada in Golden Gate Park surrounded by hippies. Mukunda, Hayagriva, and Subal are in the picture, and Lord Jagannath is standing there. On that day we were chanting in the park, and we thought, “Let’s surprise Swamiji.” He was going to join us later. So we didn’t take Subhadra and Baladev, we just left Them and took Jagannath to the park and put Him down. Swamiji was very surprised. He explained to us that first of all Lord Jagannath never goes anywhere without His Brother and Sister and that we shouldn’t arbitrarily take Him out of the temple. He comes out of the temple for Ratha-yatra.

I can give you a couple of incidents to illustrate how Srila Prabhupada was exacting. Once, in San Francisco, he asked a devotee to find something that that devotee was supposed to have taken care of and the devotee couldn’t find it. Prabhupada said, “Oh, it is lost.” The devotee said, “No, no, Srila Prabhupada, I just can’t find it.” Prabhupada said, “Well, then it is lost.” The devotee insisted, “No, it’s not lost, Srila Prabhupada. It’s just temporarily mislaid.” Prabhupada said, “If it’s not lost, where is it?” The devotee said, “I don’t know.” Prabhupada said, “If you don’t know where it is, then for you it is lost.” Prabhupada was precise. On another occasion, Prabhupada gave Krishna das, his assistant at the time, a letter to mail. Krishna das brought the letter back and said, “Swamiji, there’s a hole in the envelope.” Prabhupada said, “Yes that is all right; send it.” But Krishna das argued that he couldn’t send it, because there was a quarter-of-aninch hole in the corner of the envelope by the stamp. Suddenly, with a stern voice, Prabhupada said, “Know that all I do is perfect.” This was astounding. Prabhupada said it with such gravity. It wasn’t a proud boast but a grave statement. When he said that, Krishna das straightened, and I felt cold, as if I had a chill. I got a glimpse into the quality and the person of the spiritual master. Srila Prabhupada explained that in India, anything coming from America was bound to be stolen or ripped open because they would suspect money to be inside. He left a little hole so they could see, “Oh, it’s only a letter,” and leave it alone.

We were in England until 1970, and initially it was very difficult. We had no money, we couldn’t work, and we didn’t have any contacts. It was quite a struggle just to maintain ourselves. Sometimes we’d have to live separately in different districts all over London. But we were united and focused in our desire to get a center for Srila Prabhupada. Shyamasundar found out where the Beatles were recording and went to their studio, but it was well protected, with automatic doors and guards. There was no way to get in. But suddenly a Rolls Royce came up. In those days, the devotee men and women wore vivid yellow dhotis and saris. Shyamasundar had a very yellow dhoti on and a bright blue Nehru jacket, and he had a shiny shaved head. He was not exactly inconspicuous. He couldn’t blend in very well with any of the locals. So, when the gates opened for this big Rolls Royce, Shyamasundar hunched over on the passenger side of the car, away from the guard, and started going in with the car. Then the car window came down, a little head came out and said, “Oh, you must be George’s friend.” It was Yoko Ono. She said, “Come in.” Shyamasundar got inside Apple Studios in that way. He sat down in the little lobby, and when George came out, George said, “Where have you been, man? I’ve been waiting for you guys.” That was the initial introduction to the Beatles. Before that, we had been trying to get their attention, and we had done really silly things. Since their company was called Apple, we had gotten wind-up apples with little feet. When they were wound up they’d walk around, and we wrote “Hare Krishna” on them. We sent apple pies with “Hare Krishna” written on them. We sent letters, and we sent tapes of Hare Krishna. We had done anything and everything we could to get their attention, but this is how we finally obtained it. Prabhupada was very pleased by the record we made with George. Prabhupada felt that it was very significant. At this point we still didn’t have a center. We had made this record that was number one on the charts, and we were sent all over Europe to sing. We were excited to be preaching but discouraged that we didn’t have a center. Then somehow we got Bury Place, and, while we made it habitable, we lived in John Lennon’s house. We wanted to finish Bury Place so that Prabhupada would come, but the minute Prabhupada heard we had a place, he came and lived with us at John Lennon’s house. Daily, devotees would go to downtown London for harinam, and people would come back with them, so people were joining us even though we didn’t have a building or a center or any facility. By the time we opened Bury Place, some devotees had already been initiated at John Lennon’s place. Quite a crew was there already.

The opening of the London center coincided with the installation of Radha-London Ishvara. The temple was very crowded, and the program went on for hours. Some people had to leave, and Prabhupada said, “Oh, they are leaving, give them prasadam,” but the offering hadn’t been made. A devotee told Prabhupada, “The prasadam’s not ready yet.” Prabhupada said, “There must be something. No one can leave without prasadam.” Prabhupada had the devotees immediately cut up some fruit, put it on the altar, and at the same time distribute it. We’re ringing the bell, saying the prayers, doing our gayatri, and thinking, “Oh, it’s not offered yet,” and Prabhupada was distributing it. Prabhupada made two points at that time. He said, “First of all, no one should ever leave our center without getting a little prasadam.” We had been thinking that prasadam meant a plate full. And Prabhupada said, “As soon as it touches the altar it’s offered.” The whole process of offering is for our purification. This is significant, and it’s an instruction that we should deeply consider. Anybody who comes should get at least a little something. I try to follow these instructions in the center where I serve, because for us this is the heart of Krishna consciousness. It’s a personal instruction from Srila Prabhupada to his devotees and to the devotees of the future. What’s so difficult about cutting up an apple and an orange, offering it, and passing it out?

Little by little, we learned who and what was the spiritual master. In so many cases Srila Prabhupada was challenged by our ignorance, by our lack of spiritual education. For example, after one lecture a young woman raised her hand and said, “Swamiji, I don’t agree that we shouldn’t have illicit sex. I don’t think there’s any such thing as illicit sex. Sex is a good way to know God.” Prabhupada tried to speak to her reasonably, but she was adamant. Finally Prabhupada said, “All right. But I have brought only one medicine, so please take it,” and he began kirtan.

Srila Prabhupada had a nice way of presenting a point clearly. For example, when he lectured to students he said, “The Christians pray, ‘Dear Lord, give us our daily bread.’ This is not love of God. This is love of bread.” When he said that, all the students cheered and gave him a big round of applause.

In Surat Srila Prabhupada was treated in a way that we had never experienced before. It was in Surat that we understood that we didn’t know how to properly honor and respect our spiritual master. He was treated like a saint, although to call Prabhupada a saint is shortchanging him. Prabhupada would be offered so many garlands that we had to remove some of them, and still more would be offered. As we went down the streets, which were decorated with elaborate rice-flower drawings for Prabhupada’s pleasure, people would pour flower petals on him, and they would apply sandalwood paste liberally to his forehead. We hadn’t seen that before. Prabhupada was honored wonderfully and gloriously. And as he was honored so they also honored us, although of course not on the same level. It was during this period that Shyamasundar became Srila Prabhupada’s secretary. For some reason or other, Shyamasundar felt that he wasn’t doing enough, and he wanted to go somewhere else. When he told me that, it was so painful to me that it was like pulling a scab off a wound. I couldn’t say anything. As soon as I could get away, I ran to Prabhupada’s room and sat in a shadowy place in the back. Prabhupada said, “So, Malati, what is wrong?” Right away he understood. I said, “It’s Shyamasundar. He wants to leave.” Prabhupada said, “Tell him to come and see me.” I felt some relief, but I thought, “Oh, what will Shyamasundar think?” I went to Shyamasundar and tried to be casual. I said, “Prabhupada wants to see you.” Although Shyamasundar felt morose, he immediately went to Prabhupada. At that time I couldn’t conceive how anybody could be morose around Prabhupada, but if you’re not situated properly in your service and you’re not chanting attentively, it’s possible to be morose. Prabhupada said, “If you’re not feeling happy in Krishna consciousness, then you’re not properly executing your service. You’re not properly situated. It’s not that Krishna consciousness is rough, but it’s that we’re not properly situated.” When Shyamasundar went to Prabhupada he was tinged with moroseness, but when he returned he was like another person. He said, “Prabhupada has asked me to be his secretary and I have accepted.” He became Srila Prabhupada’s secretary right away.

The minute I started cooking for Srila Prabhupada in Jaipur, monkeys assembled. Jaipur was full of bold monkeys, and they’d grab things out of my cooking pot. I usually cooked in Prabhupada’s three-tier cooker, but I’d sometimes fry something, and monkeys would grab it out of the pan. One day I was frustrated, and Prabhupada told me, “Get a stick. Don’t hit them; just show the stick,” and he let me use his cane. The minute I picked up the cane it was like magic, the monkeys split. Prabhupada explained, “If you hit them, they will become angry and attack you. Simply shake the stick at them.” After that I got my own stick, but the first day I used Srila Prabhupada’s cane, and the minute a monkey came near I shook it.

The Deities came to London in December, and after some time there was discussion about the Indian Yatra. We got a letter from Srila Prabhupada with a list of eleven persons who were to meet him in India by September 1st. My husband, daughter, and I were on the list (my daughter was the eleventh person), and the eleven of us became focused on going to India. It was like going to England, because we didn’t know anything. We didn’t know anybody, and we didn’t have any money. But since Prabhupada wanted us to go, therefore we were going. Shyamasundar arranged some incredibly cheap airline tickets on an airline that had propeller planes. On these planes there was a wire that went from the tail to the cockpit, and the pilot pulled it to make turns. Instead of a water fountain, there was a barrel of water with a dipper, and a piece of burlap was the door for the one bathroom. This was the plane that took us to India. After we landed in Bombay, this entire airline company, “Brother’s Air Service,” was grounded and never allowed to fly again. But we got there cheap. In Bombay we didn’t know where to go or who to go to. Suddenly, people came up, garlanded us, and had us come with them. We went to a house, and they said, “Swamiji will be here shortly.” The way it happened was like a miracle or a fairy tale unfolding. Prabhupada came. We offered obeisances, and he said, “Go out on harinam.” We had just come from England, the heat was blasting, and immediately Prabhupada sent us on the streets of Bombay to perform harinam.

I had a wonderful experience last year when I went to Brazil. Very few of the devotees in South America have had physical contact with Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada went to South America only once, when he visited Caracas. Even the initiating guru in Brazil, Ishvara Maharaj, saw Prabhupada only once, very briefly, in L.A. But the devotees in beautiful Nova Gokula serve him so enthusiastically that I felt Prabhupada’s presence at every moment. Every devotee there, from the littlest to the oldest (who’s ninety-two), was focused on Srila Prabhupada. Their guru pujas are among the most enthusiastic and personal that I have ever experienced anywhere. Their mood of Srila Prabhupada is powerful and strong, even though most of the devotees have never personally seen Srila Prabhupada. But they are seeing him daily. He is making his presence manifest for the pleasure of his sincere devotees.

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 23 - Malati dasi, Srutakirti, Kirtanananda, Trivikrama Swami

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com

Following Srila Prabhupada

Interview DVD 01

Malati: That year was the first year that Lord Jagannatha ever wore clothes. Srila Prabhupada told us that we had to make clothes for Him, and he drew a little picture. I remember Shyamasundara was shocked because he was very proud of how carefully he painted the deities. He said, “They cover up the paint job.” But Jamuna and Harsharani, they immediately came to grips with the task, making beautiful outfits and turbans.

Interview DVD 02

Malati: This was the first wave of devotees to enter India as a group of Westerners, the World Sankirtan Party from ISKCON, and it was on Prabhupada’s personal order and invitation that we were together. It actually became very second nature for us to immediately begin harinam sankirtan wherever we were. That was what we were going to India for, it was under the banner of the World Sankirtan Party. So we had no…we didn’t have second thoughts about having immediate kirtans.

I was just following the crowd, most of us were. And then we arrive in this place by foot and it’s just like all the bizarre things you’d ever thought about or heard about India were right there in front of your face and going on – the naked nagar babas, men riding on elephants, the snake-charming babas – it was just all happening there. And every day Prabhupada, as you can see, would take us out on nagar sankirtan. There’s my daughter, haribol.

There was a big hundi and we’d empty the coins every day, and the next day we’d go on a walk. Prabhupada would have us give the coins to the lepers and other afflicted people. There was a whole colony of these people as part of the Mela. They’d come to the Mela to get the blessings of the sadhus and to get some paisas, they have to live. So one devotee one morning stopped and said, “Well, wouldn’t it be better if we gave them prasadam?” because we saw prasadam as a big plate of halva and kittri. Prabhupada stopped and turned and he said, “For them, this is prasad.”

Interview DVD 03

Malati: So he went down…you see that ladder, bamboo tied together with pieces of string. He goes down and he comes up, and everybody is…his all godbrothers are there, we are all there. And he now sees Brahmananda, Gargamuni, Devananda, Tamal Krishna is there. So everybody was thinking, “Who is going to speak? Who is going to speak?” I remember I was also thinking that way. And then he says, “Malati, you speak.” Everybody was floored. I was floored. So what could I say, and I’m just looking around. Here’s all these learned Vaisnavas, certainly more learned than I’d ever be. I just stood up and spoke about Srila Prabhupada. I remember I was crying a little bit. And then afterwards, I remember Gargamuni came up to me and he said, “That was very nice.” I always appreciated that. I was just reflecting on Prabhupada’s expertness and putting us forward and then utilizing us for the benefit of his mission and knowing each one of our particular ability and our limitations and even using our limitations to the best advantage. Because in this situation, as I mentioned, I was not a pandit. I don’t know Sanskrit verses, I wasn’t fully learned in the Bhagavatam, but I had no hesitation about speaking on the glories of Srila Prabhupada. And it was actually the right thing to do at that time.

Interview DVD 04

Malati: It was a little bewildering. There were all these neon flowers, neon decorations, plastic flowers, lots of electrical cords tangled and dangled. I remember at one point the devotion that was there, it hit me. What was going on was pure devotion to these Deities and that this family had been absorbed in devotion to these Deities for centuries and that Prabhupada was absorbed in devotion for these Deities. So suddenly the picture changed. Then I remember they sat us down and they were serving us prasad. It was a beautiful Bengali feast and it was served on banana leaves with such respect for Srila Prabhupada, and their respect for Prabhupada was transferred to us. They were very…Prabhupada would use the word “aristocratic.” They were very aristocratic, and their affection to Srila Prabhupada was definitely apparent as was his towards them.

As the procession began, all of a sudden the sun bursts through. So it had been a very gloomy-looking day, suddenly the sun was just shining on the whole affair and Prabhupada took his coat off. And I’m right by Srila Prabhupada, you can see in that picture, I’m right there. I just put my arms out and he put his coat on my arms. Somehow or other, Krishna let me be right by Srila Prabhupada during the whole procession.

When we arrived at Trafalgar Square, at one point Srila Prabhupada looked around and he saw a small street and he started to go down it. This wasn’t on the procession route. The whole procession starts to follow him. He was looking for a place to pass urine, and Lord Jagannatha and the whole procession was going right along with him.

I just felt like I had received so much mercy that day from Srila Prabhupada. And then after he spoke, he wanted to go back. So we went to Bury Place, Shyamasundar drove, I also went. He was so happy. He was very happy with the Rathayatra. He was very pleased that day. And he started talking about transcendental competition between the gopis. He said, “Not like this mundane competition, ‘Oh, you are doing better than me? Let me smash you.’ No. ‘You are serving so nicely. Let me try to imitate.’” He said, “In this way, ever-increasing. Ever-increasing transcendental bliss.”

Interview DVD 05

Malati: The Deities, They were originally meant to have gone to Scotland, but I guess Krishna’s desire was to stay at the Manor because that’s where They ended up. Anyway, I picked Them up from the airport. We had this Russian vehicle at the time, and I remember driving this vehicle out to Heathrow Airport to the cargo area and there were the two boxes with the Deities in them. I’m trying to think, “If I just say Deities, will he understand?” Also I knew a little bit about packing Deities, and quite often Deities arrive broken. Generally they actually weren’t broken in transit, but in the opening of the box they would take some crowbar or something and apply pressure and that was when They would break. So I was very worried about if I had to open Them up, how would it be done. He said, “All right, now, what’s this?” So I very authoritatively said in my best authoritative voice, “This is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and His eternal consort,” and they didn’t flinch, they’re British. And I said, “It’s for a temple— religious.” That was it, they let it go. Two big boxes, they didn’t open them.

After the Deities were installed, Prabhupada instructed me that “Krishna has come. Now you have to look after Him.” Still there was no money at the Manor. So myself and another devotee, Gangamayi, became the personal collectors of Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda, and we’d go out every afternoon until eleven o’clock at night and collect for Them. You know where we went? We went to the pubs. We had these cans and we’d just say…because it was so raucous in the pubs, you couldn’t really talk… we’re collecting for charity. Sometimes we’d say “for the blue boy at the Manor.” So as a purification and an atonement and to remember why we were doing what we were doing, we would wake up the Deities every morning and perform mangal arati. I remember one night we got in really late and the temple was locked. It was actually locked on purpose because some people were objecting that we were getting this money and it was going directly to the Deity fund. Prabhupada told us; he said there had to be a bank account for the Deities and that money would only be used for Their maintenance and care. So I knew that it really wasn’t an accident the doors were all locked. So Prabhupada saved us. There was one little window by the vyasasan, a small one, that we managed to squeeze through and get in.

Interview DVD 09

Malati: The first time we were in Los Angeles, Srila Prabhupada went down there from San Francisco. This is in Los Angeles 1968, and at that time we joined him. Prabhupada was living in this apartment that was so noisy. There was a guy who liked loud music at night, which was disturbing to Prabhupada. But one of the things that happened there that’s very nice, Prabhupada had started teaching us up in San Francisco. This is just after he returned to America. We had expressed a desire to learn Bengali and Sanskrit. So every day we would come into his room at a certain time and he would recite the alphabet and we would recite it after him, and then he would talk about it. I really wanted to be able to read Caitanya-caritamrta, but I couldn’t because I didn’t know the language. So Prabhupada taught me one verse from the Caitanya-caritamrta, which by the way was not printed at this time. Remember, there was only his big Caitanya-caritamrta, which was always open every morning when I cleaned his room. That’s what he would read in the early morning times was his Caitanya-caritamrta. I would find it open. It was beautiful. It just glowed. I would clean it very nicely, and I would wish that I could read it. He knew that I had this affection for Caitanya-caritamrta, and so he taught me a verse from it and he would ask me to sing it every day: sri-krsna-caitanya-nityanandau sahoditau, gaudodaye puspavantau citrau sandau tamo-nudau. And he explained the meaning of this verse is that normally the sun and the moon don’t rise together. But in this case, both the sun and the moon have arisen over the land of Gauda and they are Lord Caitanya and Lord Nityananda, who are just like the sun and the moon and They are dispelling all the darkness of the world. Every day he would say, “Govinda dasi, have you remembered that verse?” And I would sing it to him, I never forgot it. And he was so happy, he was so delighted. So then we went down to L.A. and many times he would ask me, “Have you remembered that verse?” and I would sing it to him. He loved it. While we were in L.A. that time, this is the first time, we would sit at the kitchen table and write the letters. We were learning the alphabets of Sanskrit, Devanagari. One time Prabhupada came into the room and he looked over our shoulder at what we were doing for a few minutes and then he said, “Krishna does not need our service. He simply needs our love. He simply needs to see we are trying to serve Him. Just like the teacher may see that the child is making scribbles, but he sees that the child is trying so he feels happy. So it’s like that. Krishna doesn’t need anything from us, but He wants our love. He wants to see that we are trying to love Him.” It was a very profound instruction. That was a very sweet time. I was working on the cover of the Gita, the original Gita, the purple one, and he was supervising it. It was the Universal Form. It had a lot of arms, but McMillan took them all off. But the drawing that Prabhupada had me do had lots of arms. So Prabhupada would come in, and over my shoulder he would guide me in doing that. When Prabhupada took a nap, I would sit quietly and read. The books that Goursundar had gotten were the Caitanya-caritamrta. They were done by an Indian. They were the only Caitanya-caritamrta in English prior to Prabhupada’s, seven skinny little books that Goursundar had bought at some Indian store in New York. It wasn’t Gaudiya Math, it was a translation by some scholar, but they were nice. They were better than nothing. And so I used to sit on the floor and read them while Prabhupada was resting because we didn’t have any books. Just remember, the Gita hadn’t been printed, there was only the three volumes of Srimad-Bhagavatam. So I would sit and read them and Prabhupada could see how much we liked them, and that was when he decided that he would translate Caitanya-caritamrta. And Goursundar was learning Bengali, so he would do the transliteration. He would give me a tape every day, and I would transcribe it. If you look in the front part of Caitanya-caritamrta, “Some of my friends have requested me to do…” It’s because we were so eager to have Caitanya-caritamrta.