Prabhupada 0378 - Bhuliya Tomare Purport
This is a song sung by Bhaktivinode Ṭhākura as the surrendering process. We have heard so much about surrender. So here are some of the songs how one can make surrender. So Bhaktivinode Ṭhākura says that bhuliyā tomāre, saṁsāre āsiyā, "My dear Lord, I have come to this material world by forgetting Lord. And since I have come here, I have suffered so many troubles since long, long time through different species of life. So, therefore, I have come to surrender unto You and submit unto You the story of my sufferings. First thing is that I had to live within the womb of my mother." Jananī jaṭhare, chilāma jakhona. "When I was there, compact, packed up in a airtight bag, hands and legs, I was staying within the womb of my mother. At that time, I had a glimpse of You. After that time, I could not see You. At that time I could see You, a glimpse. At that time I thought," takhona bhāvinu, janama pāiyā, "I thought that this time when I get out of this womb, I shall surely engage cent percent in the service of the Lord, worshiping the Lord. No more this repetition of birth and death, is so troublesome. Now I shall engage, this birth I shall engage myself simply on devotional service to get out of this māyā. But unfortunately, exactly after my birth," janama hoilo, paḍi' māyā-jāle, nā hoilo jñāna-lava, "as soon as I got out of the womb, immediately māyā, the illusory energy, captured me and I forgot that I was in such precarious condition, and I was crying and praying to the Lord that this time I shall get out and engage myself in devotional service. But all these senses were lost as soon as I took my birth." Then the next stage is ādarera chele, sva-janera kole. "Then I become a very pet child and everyone is taking me on the lap, and I thought, "Life is very nice, everyone loves me." Then I thought, "This material life is very good."" Ādarera chele, sva-janera kole, hāsiyā kāṭānu kāla. "Because there is no trouble. As soon as I am little difficulty, everyone comes forward to give me relief. So I thought my life will go on like this. So I simply wasted my time simply by smiling, and that smiling became attractive to my relatives and they patted me. I thought, "This is the life."" Janaki...janaka jananī-snehete bhuliyā, saṁsāra lāgilo. "At that time, a great deal of affection of parents. So I thought material life is very nice." Krame dina dina, bālaka hoiyā, khelinu bālaka-saha. "Then gradually I grew up and I began to play with my childhood friends, and it was very nice life. And after some days, when I was little intelligent, then I was put into school. So I began to study very seriously. Then after that," vidyāra gaurave, bhrami' deśe deśe, dhana uparjana kori. "Then being puffed up..." Bhaktivinode Ṭhākura was magistrate. So he was transferred from one place to another. He is stating his life, that vidyāra gaurave, "Because I was little educated, so I was posted and I was earning decently. So I was thinking, "It is very nice."" Vidyāra gaurave, bhrami' deśe deśe, dhana uparjana kori. Swa-jana pālana, kori eka-mane, "And only duty was how to maintain, how to raise family members, how to keep them happy. That became my only aims and object of life." Bārdhakye ekhona, bhakativinoda. Now Bhaktivinode Ṭhākura, in his old age, kāṇdiyā kātara ati, "Now I am seeing that I will have to give up all this arrangement, I will have to go away and take another body. Therefore, I do not know what kind of body I am going to get. Therefore, I am crying, I am very much aggrieved." Bārdhakye ekhona, bhakativinoda, kāṇdiyā kātara ati, "I am very much aggrieved." Nā bhajiyā tore, dina bṛthā gelo, ekhona ki. "So without worshiping You, without serving You, I have simply wasted my time in this way. I do not know what to do. Therefore, I surrender."