Sikhi Mahiti: The anticipation was building up. I was going to get initiated and I was going to see Prabhupada for the first time. We were in Chicago, which was a rough place in those days, and people were very American in a sense and defensive about it. If you didn’t dress like an American and you didn’t talk like an American, then you deserved to be abused. [laughs] We had to adjust to the shock that people didn’t like us because we didn’t dress like them. They were brutal in Chicago. They would arrest us on Harinam and arrest us on book distribution, even though the judge would always throw the cases out. But at the same time, police went out of their way to make us feel unwanted. This was the scene when we went to the O’Hare Airport to greet Prabhupada when he came to Chicago. I was thinking, “They are going to arrest Prabhupada.” [laughs] I was a naive nineteen-year old, but because I was low on the pecking order, the tendency was not to question authority. But in my mind, I was still thinking, “Why are they going to the airport to do this? This is going to be a disaster.” There were probably up to one hundred devotees performing kirtan in the airport, and in those days you could go right up to the terminal. The media was there, including television stations, so it was a big scene in the airport. I particularly remember the police because we were always conscious of them since we distributed books in the airport. I remember noticing the policemen standing on the side-lines watching the entire scene with faces that said, “I can’t believe these people! How dare they?” The people walking through the airport also gave us looks like, “You people, what is wrong with you?” But the devotees were absorbed in the kirtan with anticipation of Prabhupada’s arrival. For me, this was going to be the first time I was going to see a pure devotee, the person whose books I had been reading, the person I had been serving. By watching a video of Prabhupada, you got a little sense of what he was like, but it was nothing like what it was when you actually saw him in person. I think that was really one of the biggest realizations I got when I finally saw him. After the plane landed, I believe they gave Prabhupada the courtesy of coming off first. As Prabhupada came out, the kirtan was building up loudly, “Jaya Prabhupada, Prabhupada!” The most amazing thing to me was his reaction. When you see someone who doesn’t have a false ego, you notice that person doesn’t react the same way we would. If I’m coming through and there are a hundred people having kirtan for me, I’m either going to have a big smile thinking I deserve this adoration, or I’m going to act with false renunciation thinking, “Oh no, I’m not affected.” You had to have been there is the only way I can describe it. This person was transcendental. He was not ordinary. In the video I previously saw of him, I could see he was older, so I expected him to walk like an old person. But he was walking just like a young man with a cane. I thought to myself, “He doesn’t even need the cane. Why does he have it in the first place?” I noticed those policemen, who were standing with their arms folded with disdain on their faces, now all of a sudden were serving. They were now walking with Prabhupada and commanding the crowd, “Stand back. Move back,” making everybody move. They were totally changed. Everybody had changed—the TV reporters, all the karmis. That entire offensive attitude was gone. Prabhupada gave a little interview at his car and then went on to the temple. But I remember afterwards in the airport, those policemen that were there for Prabhupada’s arrival totally changed their attitudes. They no longer harassed us as before, with the exception of one officer, who died a few weeks later from a heart attack. [laughs] But the rest of them, just from seeing Prabhupada once, changed. That was it. That’s the potency of a moment’s association with a pure devotee.
The anticipation was building up. I was going to get initiated and I was going to see Prabhupada for the first time. We were in Chicago, which was a rough place in those days, and people were very American in a sense and defensive about it. If you didn’t dress like an American and you didn’t talk like an American, then you deserved to be abused. [laughs] We had to adjust to the shock that people didn’t like us because we didn’t dress like them. They were brutal in Chicago. They would arrest us on Harinam and arrest us on book distribution, even though the judge would always throw the cases out. But at the same time, police went out of their way to make us feel unwanted. This was the scene when we went to the O’Hare Airport to greet Prabhupada when he came to Chicago. I was thinking, “They are going to arrest Prabhupada.” [laughs] I was a naive nineteen-year old, but because I was low on the pecking order, the tendency was not to question authority. But in my mind, I was still thinking, “Why are they going to the airport to do this? This is going to be a disaster.” There were probably up to one hundred devotees performing kirtan in the airport, and in those days you could go right up to the terminal. The media was there, including television stations, so it was a big scene in the airport. I particularly remember the police because we were always conscious of them since we distributed books in the airport. I remember noticing the policemen standing on the side-lines watching the entire scene with faces that said, “I can’t believe these people! How dare they?” The people walking through the airport also gave us looks like, “You people, what is wrong with you?” But the devotees were absorbed in the kirtan with anticipation of Prabhupada’s arrival. For me, this was going to be the first time I was going to see a pure devotee, the person whose books I had been reading, the person I had been serving. By watching a video of Prabhupada, you got a little sense of what he was like, but it was nothing like what it was when you actually saw him in person. I think that was really one of the biggest realizations I got when I finally saw him. After the plane landed, I believe they gave Prabhupada the courtesy of coming off first. As Prabhupada came out, the kirtan was building up loudly, “Jaya Prabhupada, Prabhupada!” The most amazing thing to me was his reaction. When you see someone who doesn’t have a false ego, you notice that person doesn’t react the same way we would. If I’m coming through and there are a hundred people having kirtan for me, I’m either going to have a big smile thinking I deserve this adoration, or I’m going to act with false renunciation thinking, “Oh no, I’m not affected.” You had to have been there is the only way I can describe it. This person was transcendental. He was not ordinary. In the video I previously saw of him, I could see he was older, so I expected him to walk like an old person. But he was walking just like a young man with a cane. I thought to myself, “He doesn’t even need the cane. Why does he have it in the first place?” I noticed those policemen, who were standing with their arms folded with disdain on their faces, now all of a sudden were serving. They were now walking with Prabhupada and commanding the crowd, “Stand back. Move back,” making everybody move. They were totally changed. Everybody had changed—the TV reporters, all the karmis. That entire offensive attitude was gone. Prabhupada gave a little interview at his car and then went on to the temple. But I remember afterwards in the airport, those policemen that were there for Prabhupada’s arrival totally changed their attitudes. They no longer harassed us as before, with the exception of one officer, who died a few weeks later from a heart attack. [laughs] But the rest of them, just from seeing Prabhupada once, changed. That was it. That’s the potency of a moment’s association with a pure devotee.
In Chicago in 1975 there was a huge gathering of devotees to be with Srila Prabhupada, including the Radha-Damodar buses. Somehow or another I got myself in a position to be right in front as Prabhupada was coming in to greet the Deities. Tamal Krishna was leading the group with Sudama, Visnujana Swami and some others. I think Tamal saw my enthusiasm, so he gave me Prabhupada’s chaddar and cane to hold. I then automatically became one of the entourage right behind Prabhupada. I thought, “Wow, this is great. I can’t believe it.” When Prabhupada went up to Gaura-Nitai’s altar, which was just the Pancha-tattva picture as there were no Gaura-Nitai Deities, he laid down and paid full obeisances with his feet sticking out right in front of me. Before Prabhupada came, Tamal gave us the instruction not to touch Prabhupada’s feet because he didn’t want him to get sick from taking on our karma. I remember thinking to myself, “What’s the difference? He is going to initiate me. How is that different from me touching his feet?” I didn’t get it, but I was Bhakta Nate, so I was in no position to argue. [laughs] As I was standing there, my inner voice said, “You should touch his feet.” I said to myself, “No way you can touch his feet. We’re right here in front of the Deities and Tamal said not to do it. I’m not going to do it.” But I wanted to do it. Then after I saw them pay their obeisances, again the voice said, “If you don’t touch his feet now, you’re never going to get this opportunity again. And besides nobody is going to see you because they are all paying obeisances.” So, I said to myself, “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll do it at the next altar.” [laughs] When Prabhupada got in front of Kishore-Kishori and bowed down, I got down with my head and gently touched the bottom of his feet. Tamal Krishna Maharaj saw me. [laughs] I got caught. He looked at me with those fiery eyes and he took that chaddar and cane away from me. What could I do? [laughs] But Prabhupada didn’t say anything at all. Many years later, I was talking with Brahmananda and I told him I had put my head on Prabhupada’s feet. He looked at me and said, “You did what!?” He said, “What did Prabhupada say?” I said, “He didn’t say anything.” Brahmananda said, “I saw in Vrindavan someone did that and Prabhupada turned around and just lit him up for touching his feet in front of the Deities.” I said, “I guess he saw I was so new he didn’t say anything.” Upon reflection, I did feel I received a little extra mercy that day. I don’t know how many devotees could say they touched Prabhupada’s feet, but I got the bottom, the dust, so forgive me Srila Prabhupada for the offense in front of the Deities.
During that period in Chicago, devotees weren’t accustomed to having a large initiation even though the Evanston temple was considered a big temple in those days. They were also going to install the Gaura-Nitai Deities for the buses and then initiate all the devotees. As a matter of fact, there were so many devotees that the women couldn’t get initiated that day. They complained to Prabhupada, so he made them hold initiation for the women the next day. Things were getting a little chaotic, and the one thing you definitely noticed about Srila Prabhupada was that he did not like to waste time. At one point you could see he was getting a little annoyed as if to say, “Hey, come on, let’s get this thing going.” In time they called me up by my name, Nathanial—Bhakta Nate. I knew a month or two before that I was going to be initiated, and I was thinking, “I’m going to get some cool name like Nityananda, Narada Muni or Nrsimha. You can’t go wrong with any of those names.” I came up and, of course, I was walking a little proudly. [laughs] Prabhupada said, “What are the rules and regulations and how many rounds do you chant?” I answered everything very nicely, and as he reached out the beads to me, he said, “Your name is Sikhi Mahiti das.” I was shocked. [laughs] I thought, “Sikhi Mahiti? What the heck is that?” It didn’t even sound like a name of Krishna, but I tried not to look disappointed. Actually, the whole room was kind of quiet because Sri Caitanya-caritamrta hadn’t been published yet. Prabhupada said, “Sikhi Mahiti was one of the three and a half most confidential servants of Lord Caitanya.” He looked at me right in my face. I was still looking disappointed, and he said, “And it’s a very nice name.” [laughs] I took my beads, but I couldn’t believe Krishna just smashed my ego. [laughs] I thought, “At least it’s a unique name.” You don’t meet too many people with that name, so I can be grateful for that. But to this day even Indian people ask, “Oh, what is your name, prabhu?” I respond, “Sikhi Mahiti das.” “Oh, what does it mean?” They don’t even know what it means. Later I found out it’s a popular name near Orissa, but outside of Orissa, nobody knows. [laughs]
In Mayapur in February of 1977, I wanted to get my brahman initiation from Prabhupada. I thought it would be great to get it in Mayapur and from Prabhupada. I thought, “You can’t beat that.” I was told by my temple authorities that if I could get my own money, I could go. I immediately called my mother, who wasn’t favorable in the beginning for me being a devotee, and told her, “I need $1,500 to go to India.” Amazingly, she said, “Okay.” I thought, “Thank you, Krishna.” Then I started to think, “I want to get close association with Prabhupada if I can.” When the bus arrived from the Calcutta airport into Mayapur, they told us, “When you get off the bus, go find a room.” But I thought, “This is my opportunity. Everybody is going to be looking for a room, and I’ll go see Prabhupada right away, and whatever room is left, I’ll take that one.” I began inquiring, “Where is Prabhupada? Where is Prabhupada?” I finally got to where his room was in the lotus building on the second floor. I walked up very confidently and there was some sannyasi there I didn’t recognize, but someone obviously not from America. I said, “I want to see Srila Prabhupada.” He said, “You come back later for darshan.” I was disappointed to say the least. I walked away looking at the configurations of the building, and I said, “There must be a back door.” Sure enough, there was a back door and it was wide open. [laughs] Prabhupada was sitting behind his desk, one leg up with his arm resting on it, and he was speaking to a few local Bengali people. I didn’t go in the door but just sat in the doorway, as I was content just to see Prabhupada. However, Bhakti-Tirtha, who was named Ganashyam at the time, was in the room, and he saw me sitting there. He said to me, “Come on in.” Happily, I went in and sat down in the corner chanting on my beads softly, knowing I was not supposed to be there. Within about five or ten minutes, it was time for the Bengali guests to go and Prabhupada motioned them to the door. As the door opened, I watched them walk out, and I caught the eye of that sannyasi who had told me to come back later, and he made a face like, “You rascal you!” [laughs] I turned and looked at Prabhupada and prayed, “Please don’t kick me out. I’m not going to disturb anything. I just want to be in the room with you for some time.” I heard the door close and it was just me and Prabhupada in the room. He sat with his back against the wall, and he closed his eyes as if he was resting because he had not been feeling well at that time. Within five or ten minutes some GBCs came in as well as several sannyasis. The conversation became very grave. I had never seen such a grave atmosphere. Gradually over an hour or so the room filled with more and more devotees and the conversations were very serious. No one knew how to react because they had never seen Prabhupada in that mood. At some point the door to the room opened, and Prabhupada looked over to see his women disciples from New Vrindavan who were famous for traveling in vans and selling Prabhupada’s books. These ladies were performing the same austerities as the men of the Radha-Damodar traveling buses, if not more. At least we had a bus with Deities you could come back to, as well as a morning program and somebody to cook for you. But these girls would sleep, get up in the morning, open up the water tap to take their bath outside, and cook for themselves. They were well known in the movement for their service and they were getting big results. One mataji stuck her head in, saw there was no room, and was about to leave. Prabhupada saw her and immediately his face just lit up! His reaction to seeing her was instantaneous and he was so happy. He said to everyone in the room, “Move, move, move, move. Make room, make room.” He brought them in and he had them sit right in front. Now he was laughing and joking. I don’t remember the conversation, but the whole room just became light-hearted with laughter even though Prabhupada appeared sick and grave moments before. I saw this as evidence that this was a transcendental person and not the body. And it was amazing to see how pleased he was with these lady devotees. Many years later I met that mataji who stuck her head in the room. We were talking about Prabhupada memories, and I asked her, “Do you remember when you were in Mayapur in 1977?” She said, “Yeah, yeah. I was there.” I said, “What you didn’t see was how Prabhupada transformed when he saw you.” I said, “He was so happy with you all that he just became so joyful, instantly! Before you came in that room, he was very grave.” She said, “I didn’t know that.” Srila Prabhupada, ki jaya.
The quality that stood out for me the most about Prabhupada was how he was equipoised in all situations. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he was always just calm like the standard view people have of a transcendental person. Nowadays people think transcendental means you walk around with a stare on your face like nothing bothers you and you walk slowly and things of that nature. Prabhupada was transcendental, but at the same time, he was always a loving, joyful, determined person. If you ever observed Prabhupada on the vyasasan surrounded by hundreds of devotees, you could see he was fixed on his life’s mission. He didn’t project, “Oh, let’s have a good time now that we are all together.” Sometimes in social interactions you feel like you have to make each other feel good. And if neither party does that, then somebody is offended. You cannot imitate being a pure devotee—I walk like this, I talk like this, I hold my beads like this, or I do like that. This platform comes of its own accord as you get purified.
