Sumati: I received my second initiation from Srila Prabhupada so that I could care for the Deities, but I didn’t know anything about gayatri mantra and I didn’t know that there was a way that you counted the mantras on your fingers. Prabhupada showed me the finger movements for gayatri but I didn’t know what he was doing. When he did the same movements again I thought, “Oh, maybe he wants my beads,” so I took my beads out of my bead bag but he said, “No.” Then he took my hand in his hand, took my thumb and put it on each of the places to show me how to chant the gayatri mantra. Many years later I became aware that there were times when the guru, knowing his disciple was not pure enough to care for the Deities, would touch that person to purify him or her enough to be with Krishna on the altar. I felt, “Oh that makes sense. I certainly needed that purification.”
The large Jagannatha Deities in Boston were badly cracked. Satsvarupa asked me to write to Prabhupada to ask what we should do about it. I did that and Prabhupada wrote back saying they should be put in the sea and we should carve new Deities. At the time Lord Jagannatha’s clothes weren’t being changed at night so I also asked Prabhupada if Lord Jagannatha could wear pajamas at night. Prabhupada wrote back and said, “Yes, that would be very nice.”
The temple in Boston used to be an old house on North Beacon Street. Between the men’s and ladies restrooms there were a of couple hooks on the wall and when Prabhupada was going into the men’s room he noticed japa beads hanging from one of those hooks. He took them and said, “These beads are crying. They should never be left here next to the stool room. They should always be around your neck or in a bead bag.” When he said, “These beads are crying,” it was an important lesson about how sacred the beads are.
Once a week, Satsvarupa, Suhotra and I did a radio show at Northeastern University in Boston. It was a big radio station and a lot of people listened. We would pick a story from Krishna Book, Satsvarupa would write a script and we would do an hour-long dramatization on the show. When Prabhupada was in New York, Satsvarupa took him tapes of three or four shows. Satsvarupa played Krishna, Suhotra played the demon and I played Mother Yasoda. One story was Krishna subduing the Kaliya serpent. When Mother Yasoda saw Krishna wrapped in Kaliya’s coils she cried Krishna’s name with the utmost desperation and I really cried Krishna’s name. Srila Prabhupada said to Satsvarupa, “Stop the tape.” Prabhupada said, “Who is that?” Satsvarupa said, “That’s Sumati.” Prabhupada said, “Tell her to always cry for Krishna like that.” That’s my favorite story and I try to keep it in my heart, even though I don’t cry for Krishna like that.
I heard the maha-mantra on the radio as part of the musical “Hair,” and as soon as I heard it I loved it. It was my favorite song and I sang it all the time. I chanted for two years but I still didn’t know there was such a thing as a devotee. I didn’t even know that Krishna was a name of God. When I finally went to New Vrindavan I was brand new to Krishna consciousness. I didn’t know anyone there and felt lost. But in a Bhagavad-gita class I heard Ishan say, “If you don’t have any service and you’re not sure what to do, pray to Prabhupada and he’ll send you some.” Later that day I was sitting under a tree trying to read Bhagavad-gita. I couldn’t understand it but I suddenly remembered what Ishan had said. I thought, “Srila Prabhupada, could you please send me some service?” Instantly a woman walked up to me and said, “There’s going to be three weddings tonight. Could you go to that field and pick flowers?” I said, “Yeah, I’d love to.” I honestly felt that Srila Prabhupada was walking beside me. I felt his presence so strongly that it was almost as if I could see him. It was mystical and miraculous because at that time I had no sense of Prabhupada but I knew that he was with me. It was powerful and loving and wonderful.
I was most struck and I’m still always struck by Srila Prabhupada’s absolute faith in and his surrender to and his love for Krishna. When he spoke of Krishna, in his voice I could hear his love for Krishna. On one level, I was afraid of Prabhupada because he was also very stern and the devotees were strict about the rules and regulations. But at the same time, whenever Prabhupada would specifically talk about Krishna, there was so much love in his voice that it gave me faith in Krishna—that Krishna is real—and that faith continues to increase. I feel so grateful to Prabhupada. I’m not a good disciple anymore, but every day I thank him that Krishna is in my life and that all of my most intimate friends are devotees of Krishna. I hope that someday I’ll again be a good disciple, a good daughter.
