Visakha devi dasi Remembers Srila Prabhupada

Prabhupada Memories

Interview 01

Visakha: My first meeting with Srila Prabhupada was in March of 1971. I had a friend, John, who is now Yadubara das, who had majored in photography at the same college that I attended. I was an undergraduate and he was a graduate student. John had decided to do his Masters thesis on the Hare Krishna people and had gone to India in the winter of 1970. After he had been there for a few months, he wrote and asked me to join him there. That’s why I arrived in Bombay in March 1971. In college I had a done a term project on close-up photography. I had taken that term project to a publisher in New York, and it gradually evolved into a small specialty book about close-up photography. When I went to India, I took that book with me, and about a day after I had arrived in Bombay, John said, “We should go and meet Prabhupada.” So we went to the temple, which was on the seventh floor of an apartment building called Akash Ganga, right by the ocean. Prabhupada’s room was simple, spacious, and airy because the windows were open and the sea breeze was blowing through it. It had a lot of natural light. Prabhupada, very relaxed, sat on a white cushion behind a low table as he traditionally did. John introduced me and then took my book, which I had under my arm, and gave it to Prabhupada saying, “She has done this.” Prabhupada graciously and gentlemanly took the book and thumbed through the pages for a minute. Then he handed it back and said, “We do not know much about these things.” When I brought the book to the temple I had thought, “Here is a saintly person. Why should I show such a person a book about close-up photography?” It didn’t seem appropriate. So, when Prabhupada said what he did, I felt that he confirmed my thought. I left with the impression of a very peaceful, I wouldn’t say transcendental, because I wasn’t thinking in that way, but a peaceful person and one who was pleasant to be around.

My initiation took place early in the morning on November 29, 1971. At the time Prabhupada had taken a group of devotees to Vrindavan, India, where he personally gave us a wonderful tour of the different holy places. He took us to Varshana, where the devotees carried him on a palanquin around the area. He took us to Govardhan Hill. He bathed with us in the Yamuna and led us in circumambulating Radha Kund. It was an extraordinary time. At this ceremony, which was in Saraf Bhavan in Vrindavan, Yadubara and I were going to be married, and I was going to be initiated. It so happened that there was another couple in Vrindavan at the time who also wanted to get married at the same ceremony. Unfortunately though, the husband-to-be had already been married to a devotee and had left that woman. And his proposed new wife was already pregnant. So it was a dishonorable circumstance. How could Prabhupada agree to such a thing? But from another point of view Prabhupada couldn’t say no, either. After all, the first wife was already gone and the second proposed wife was already pregnant. So, how could he say no? It was an enigma that Prabhupada brilliantly resolved. Prabhupada told Gurudas, who was performing the fire yajna, to do the entire ceremony for this other couple first, from the mantras to the achman to the bananas in the fire to tying the cloth together. When it was complete, Gurudas got up, moved over a few steps, and started a second, separate fire sacrifice for my initiation and our wedding. At that point, Prabhupada came out of his room and sat on his vyasasana. So without saying anything, Srila Prabhupada made a clear statement. It was an ingenious solution to an uncomfortable situation. Our ceremony went on, and for my initiation Prabhupada asked me the four rules and regulations. I had rehearsed that, so I managed to say them without a problem. Then he said, “How many rounds will you chant every day?” With confidence, because I had rehearsed that part too, I said, “Sixteen.” At that juncture, Prabhupada looked at me right in the eyes and, although we had looked at each other before this, this was the first time at such a close distance. We were a couple of feet apart. It was a most memorable experience. Prabhupada’s eyes were dark, and they seemed bottomless. I felt that he saw way past the obvious, way past the body and even past the mind. He could actually perceive my consciousness, which was discomforting because my consciousness was far from what it should have been. You can say his was a penetrating look. But ordinarily the word penetrating implies a critical or judgmental or harsh look. Prabhupada’s look was none of those things. It was a caring, gentle, concerned, and perceptive look. At that time, since it was the first of several times I would experience this, I was quite surprised by how perceptive I felt he was. In the months and years that followed, when he looked at me, my reaction would always be that I was not where I should be in terms of my Krishna consciousness. But rather than being discouraged with my lacking, I wanted to improve, to become more Krishna conscious, just to please him. So when I said, “Sixteen,” and we were practically eye-to-eye, Prabhupada gravely said, “That is the minimum.” Right away I was sobered. After that it was time for him to give me a name. I was the only initiate so he hadn’t bothered to think of a name. It was rather insignificant. He looked at me for a moment and then quietly asked Shyamasundar, “Do we have a Visakha?” Shyamasundar went to another room where he apparently had some record of all the initiates. He came back and told Prabhupada, “There was a Visakha, but she’s left.” Prabhupada turned to me and said, “Your name is Visakha.”

In our young and idealistic minds, John and I had hatched the brilliant idea of doing a photo essay about a quaint Indian village. We wanted to make a wonderful cultural presentation to help people appreciate traditional life. The problem was that there are thousands upon thousands of villages in India, and we had no idea which one would be suitable for our project. John said, “Srila Prabhupada has traveled extensively in India, so we should ask him where to go.” We presented our idea to Prabhupada when he was in his room in the Akash Ganga Building. Prabhupada saw us, flushed with the fervor of youthful enthusiasm, and said, “You do not speak the language. Wherever you go they will simply cheat you and steal your cameras.” We were silent and crestfallen. There was a pregnant pause as Prabhupada observed our reaction to his words. Then he said, “Best that you go to Vrindavan and do your photo essay there.” So some four or five months later we did that. When Srila Prabhupada told us to go to Vrindavan it was only the second time he had seen me, and he knew nothing about me. My background was completely atheistic. My parents were atheists, and until I went to the ISKCON temple in New York, about a year or so before I met Srila Prabhupada, I had never been inside any church, synagogue, or a temple of any sort . . . not even to see the stained glass. It was by Srila Prabhupada’s instruction that John and I went to Vrindavan, and now looking back on it three decades later, Srila Prabhupada could not have given me more appropriate guidance. The month that we spent in Vrindavan transformed me. For weeks I wandered the Vrindavan streets and gradually became moved by the devotion of the Vaishnavas there, who were ever ready with the friendly greeting, “Jai Radhe!” Foremost in their simple lives was faith in and service to Radha-Krishna. Prabhupada’s instruction to live in that divine environment was perfect for me.

In those times our Calcutta temple had many problems. For instance, the temple was not very clean. The city of Calcutta itself is not clean, and unfortunately that uncleanliness infiltrated into the temple. Also, the prasadam was substandard, the devotees’ health was not good, and there was tension between the men and the women. Besides all that, there was a sannyasi in the Calcutta temple that was very particular about how the various instruments were played during kirtan. If he didn’t like the way an instrument was being played, he would walk up to the devotee playing it and say, “Give me that thing,” and forcibly take it away from the person. Perhaps because of these problems and because of being away from their own culture, the Western devotees fought amongst themselves regularly, which was yet another problem. In those days to go from the temple office to the prasadam area, which was on the veranda, one had to walk through the temple room. One of my early memories is of the GBC and the temple president walking through the temple room arguing with each other. Such was the temple atmosphere. During my stay at this time I was regularly thinking, “I don’t need this in my life. I have other things to do. I have a life to live.” What stopped me from leaving the temple for good was a mantra. Not the maha-mantra, but the mantra, “Prabhupada is coming. Prabhupada is coming. You can’t leave now. He will be here very soon.” Day by day I was hanging on by a thin thread. Then finally in October 1971, Prabhupada came. Prabhupada immediately assessed the situation and called for an istagosthi. Everyone in the temple went to his room. To this day when I go into Prabhupada’s room in the Calcutta temple—it’s now the office of the temple president—I still remember that istagosthi and where Prabhupada sat and where all the devotees sat and where I sat. Prabhupada gave a most deeply inspiring talk. I’d never been so affected by someone’s talk as I was on that day. It wasn’t taped, and I didn’t take notes, but basically he spoke about tolerance, friendship among devotees, enthusiasm, patience, and transcending problems. At one point he gave an example from his own life. He said that when he came to New York, he was staying with someone who kept meat in his refrigerator. He said the word meat with such disgust that it made me realize for the first time how austere that must have been for him, for a person of such caliber. When I walked out of the room after the istagosthi was over, I felt physically lighter, as if a burden had been lifted from me. By his transcendental words, Prabhupada transformed my consciousness.

Since the conditions in the Calcutta temple were poor, John and I were not comfortable living in the temple. So once, when we were in Prabhupada’s room, John said to Prabhupada, “Perhaps we should live outside and just come to the temple for the programs. In that way we could avoid the problems in the temple.” Prabhupada said, “Yes, you can do that. That is all right. But even though there’re so many problems in the temple, still it is better living in the temple than outside.” That may have been especially true in Calcutta, but perhaps that can be said of any temple in any city.

When we traveled with Prabhupada to Jaipur we were hosted at some of the various Gaudiya Maths there. Once we attended a noon arati at one of the Maths. While the pujari offered the arati, Prabhupada stood fairly close to the altar, and the devotees were somewhat back having kirtan. I was photographing Prabhupada at that time, and I noticed that he was looking around trying to catch someone’s attention. The devotees were absorbed in the kirtan and didn’t notice him, so he caught my eye and called me over. I went close to him. Since the kirtan was loud I had to put my ear next to his mouth to hear him. He said, “Do you have any rupees?” I put my mouth next to his ear and I said, “No, but I can get some. How much?” He thought for a second, put his mouth near my ear, and said, “Ten.” I walked away and found a devotee who was a little on the side, not participating in the kirtan, and said, “Prabhupada wants ten rupees.” Immediately he gave me a ten-rupee note. I returned to Prabhupada and handed it to him. Prabhupada carefully folded it in half, folded it in a quarter, and then kept it within his joined palms for the rest of the arati. Then, when the pujari blew the conch shell signaling the end of the arati, Prabhupada took that tenrupee note and put it the donation box that was in front of the altar. After I saw him do that I remembered having read that when one comes before the Deities one should make some offering. That afternoon Prabhupada observed that standard.

Srila Prabhupada was sitting on the vyasasana in the Los Angeles temple room, and I was sitting on the floor in front of him, photographing. Ramesvara, the head of the BBT at the time, had told me to take pictures of Srila Prabhupada with his eyes open. These photographs were to be published in the various Caitanya-caritamrtas and Srimad-Bhagavatams, and Ramesvara was convinced that Prabhupada should be shown with his eyes open. I wouldn’t take pictures during Prabhupada’s lectures, because the light from the flash and sound of the shutter disturbed him, so I only took photographs while Prabhupada sang the Jaya Radha-Madhava prayer. On this particular day, Prabhupada had his eyes shut. Ramesvara’s instruction was in my mind, so I sat still, waiting for Prabhupada to open his eyes. Prabhupada had his eyes closed for many verses, so I sat for a long time. Then unexpectedly, I felt a strong thump on my backside. I looked around, and a sannyasi had hit me with his danda, indicating that I had been there too long, and I should move on. After all, I was sitting at Prabhupada’s feet, which was the spot the sannyasis considered theirs. I looked up at Prabhupada, and he had opened his eyes. He had seen this little drama, and he gave this sannyasi a harsh, stern look. It was the look of a very displeased father. I was grateful that look had not been cast upon me, because it was withering. Then Prabhupada looked at me, I took some photographs, and left. Amazingly enough, although the temple room was packed shoulder-to-shoulder with devotees and guests who had come from all over the west side of America for the occasion, no one remarked at this incident. It had happened in a large room filled with hundreds of people, but mystically it was only between the three of us.

In the early 1970s in Bombay, Prabhupada would regularly leave for his morning walk on Juhu Beach just before dawn when it was still quite dark. Every day as he came down the stairs of the house where he was living, I would meet him to join him on the walk. One morning I was sitting on a landing, chanting and waiting for Prabhupada to come. It was dark so I couldn’t see very well, and Prabhupada came very softly, so I couldn’t hear him either. As he passed right in front of me, less than an arm’s reach away, he said in a baritone voice and with complete gravity, “Thank you very much.” All I was doing was chanting japa. Prabhupada was so appreciative and encouraging of the smallest effort.

In Bombay, a woman Life Member took a small group of us to a pleasant area for Prabhupada’s morning walk. After the walk, we all piled back in her car, and, as happens often in India, a destitute-looking woman carrying a small child and surrounded by a few other children came to the car and begged. Srila Prabhupada gave some paisa to the woman and to each child. I had some doubt about giving to beggars, because in Bhagavad-gita Krishna says that charity given to an unworthy person is in the mode of ignorance. Somehow I had the audacity to ask Srila Prabhupada, “Why are we giving Krishna’s money to beggars?” Prabhupada didn’t say anything. I immediately worried that I had been offensive. Since he was silent I tried to answer my own question. I said, “Is it because it is prasadam?” He gravely said, “Yes.” Of course, paisa coming from Prabhupada’s hand, from the hand of the pure devotee, may be in a different category than paisa coming from someone else’s hand. But nonetheless it was a wonderfully instructive moment.

Prabhupada spent hours looking for suitable land for our temple in Bombay. At that time he was living at the home of a wonderful Life Member family, the Mahadevias, who gave Srila Prabhupada all facility. In the evening, Prabhupada lectured in the Mahadevia’s home and occasionally, besides the regular devotees, guests would come. Once, a person who presented himself as a sadhu came. I noticed Prabhupada observing this person, and I also noticed that this person was looking at Prabhupada’s female disciples. It wasn’t overt, but it was there. So, in the course of his lecture, Prabhupada recited a Sanskrit prayer of King Kulashekar’s, that “after I’ve been engaged in the loving service of Sri Sri Radha and Krishna, when I think of sex life my face turns and I spit on the thought.”

To view the entire unedited video go to Memories 19 - Upendra, Visakha dasi, Bhargava, Sura

The full Prabhupada Memories Series can be viewed here and also at www.prabhupadamemories.com

Following Srila Prabhupada

Interview DVD 03

Visakha: After the incredibly successful pandal in Delhi where tens of thousands of people were coming every night to hear Srila Prabhupada, Srila Prabhupada took just a few of us, 20 or 30, to Vrindavan. So after all the fanfare in Delhi, the lights and distributing prasadam to all those people and the dignitaries that came, here we were in this simple village with Srila Prabhupada. I think all of us, certainly myself, felt how much Prabhupada cared for us that after this big, big preaching program, he would take the time and the trouble to bring us to Vrindavan. We stayed in a small place, Saraf Bhavan, which is about a mile from Loi Bazaar, and every day we would go by bus to different holy places. We went to Govardhan, Radha Kund, Barsana.

In Govardhan, Prabhupada was taking prasadam. Malati used to travel with us always and cook for Prabhupada, even on the bus. Prabhupada would sit in the front seat because his car had broken down. So he would be on the front seat of the bus, and Malati would be in the back seat doing whatever she was doing, nobody knew for sure. But then eventually she would come through the aisle of the bus and present to Prabhupada a beautiful plate of prasadam. It was a little bit miraculous how she did that. So she was Prabhupada’s cook during this time, and I remember in Govardhan she served Prabhupada his prasadam and a dog wandered by, a hungry dog. And Malati was about to give it the standard “hut” to drive it away when Prabhupada stopped her and threw a piece of his samosa to this dog, which actually delighted Malati. She was happy to see and also to hear Prabhupada say that “No living entity should go hungry in Krishna’s dham.”

The short devotee who is wearing a white sari is Bhavatarini-devi-dasi. She was known to all of Prabhupada’s disciples as Pisima, which means “the father’s sister” in Bengali, because she was Prabhupada’s sister. Pisima would come very often to the temple in Calcutta…that’s me with my back to the camera, we were staying there too at that time…and she would bring prasadam for Prabhupada and for the devotees as well. She was a very gentle, kind, loving person. But there was a problem because Pisima cooked, as is traditional in Bengal, in mustard oil and sometimes it would be hard for Prabhupada to digest her dishes, although they were very delicious. When Pisima heard about this problem, she said, “My brother can digest nails if he wants to.” And on his side, Prabhupada once said, “Whatever my sister cooks, we have to eat. This is her display of love for me.” And she had great devotion for her brother, not just because he was her brother but also because he is such an exalted devotee of Radha-Krishna. Srila Prabhupada said that his sister was a devotee of Radha and Krishna from her very birth. Whenever we offered Pisima the respect that she so much deserved, she was very humble. She would say, “I am a mere lady. I cannot give you anything. I cannot do anything for you.” Quite often under her sari she would carry a bottle of Ganga water or Jamuna water and she would liberally sprinkle the devotees around her with this water, which was great fun except for me because I usually had a camera with me. I would have to hide my camera under my sari when she pulled out her Ganga jal.

Interview DVD 04

Visakha: We lived in Kesi Ghat by the banks of the Yamuna, and every morning we would attend mangal arati in Kesi Ghat. And after that, Achyutananda Swami would take a sankirtan party and we’d go all the way to Raman Reti, where the Krishna-Balarama Temple was under construction. And then we’d walk back along the parikrama path that followed the Jamuna River and go to the Radha Damodar Temple in time to meet Srila Prabhupada there. Prabhupada would lead us in the Jaya Radha-Madhava prayers, and then he would speak on Srimad-Bhagavatam, First Canto, Chapter 2, “Divinity and Divine Service.” And although we had heard what he was saying before, it was the basic Krishna conscious philosophy, in that atmosphere it had tremendous impact. I can’t imagine how fortunate we were, that small group of us, to be in the most auspicious place, Vrindavan, and then within Vrindavan in such an auspicious place where the Goswamis used to sit together. And to be there at such an auspicious time, Karttika, with Krishna’s pure representative, Srila Prabhupada. It was simply Srila Prabhupada’s kindness upon us that he made this arrangement to impress upon us this incredible philosophy of Krishna consciousness – so powerful, so important, so profound. So it was an incredible month, and a month that I will remember my entire life. Certainly, it moved me very deeply.

The last day of the pandal was a Sunday, and more people attended than ever before. There were tens of thousands of people in the huge pandal. Prabhupada lectured very strongly from the vyasasana. And then when he finished, the kirtan began as it did every evening. This kirtan was especially enthusiastic. And then at one point he got up off the vyasasana and went before the Deities clapping, and then he started to circumambulate the Deities with a very light step. He went around once, and then he went around a second time and then a third time. And when he came before the Deities, very gracefully he put his arms in the air and he began to dance. It was almost as if he was weightless, he danced so effortlessly, and everyone was electrified by this. Everyone in the audience was riveted on Srila Prabhupada dancing before the Deities. At that point I was in the audience, I was photographing the pandal program, and it felt as if all the sinful reactions of all those people suddenly lifted. It was an extraordinary feeling. There was such a lightness there. It’s stated in the Nectar of Devotion that if you clap your hands in kirtan, then the sinful reactions leave you just like birds leaving a tree when there’s a sudden noise, they all fly off together. And that’s what it felt like. There was this burden of karma lifting all at one time.

Interview DVD 05

Visakha: When Srila Prabhupada offered the first arati to Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda, I was photographing him. I stood behind the arati tray and simply focused the entire time on Srila Prabhupada. As I was doing that, I was struck by how gracefully he offered the different items – the beautiful circles he made with the ghee lamp and the little circles within the circles. Also, I was even more struck by how focused he was on Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda. I was certainly focused on him and all the other devotees pretty much were focused on Prabhupada, but Prabhupada was focused on the Lord and on pleasing Them. This whole event was not about him, but it was about the pleasure of Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda and the pleasure of his spiritual master. Looking at him as I was, I could feel that. Then when he finished the arati and he started circumambulating the Deities, again his movements were very graceful, very rhythmic, and it was for the pleasure of the Lord. We were so engrossed in what Prabhupada was doing that when he gave just a little movement of his hands indicating that we also should participate in dancing for the pleasure of Sri Sri Radha Gokulananda, immediately all the devotees were involved in dancing for the Lord and it was an ecstatic moment. We were so delighted to be part of this historic event, that now Srila Prabhupada had a firm base, a beautiful base, Bhaktivedanta Manor, where Krishna consciousness could be expressed by his followers, and from that base they could start to spread Krishna consciousness throughout the country.

Interview DVD 06

Visakha: Prabhupada pointed out in his talks that even well-to-do people would come to get this prasadam. They didn’t need it, they weren’t in need of food, but they valued it as something spiritual, something that could help them in their spiritual life. And this Prabhupada said was the purpose of prasadam. It’s not just an altruistic activity that we give prasadam to poor people or destitute people. We can do that, but prasadam is for everyone because spiritually we are all poor, we are all destitute. We need this mercy from Krishna, and Prabhupada was very generous about it. The children would sometimes come twice or even three times, and Prabhupada would smile and wag his finger at them; but he would give them again and again.

Interview DVD 07

Visakha: When Prabhupada went on the stage at the end of the procession, I also tried to go on the stage. But some person who I didn’t know stopped me and said that no women were allowed on the stage. So I tried to reason with him, saying that I was authorized by the BBT trustees and they had paid for my fare and my film, but this person was adamant. So I left the stage and I went to the middle of the field behind the huge assembly of devotees and guests, and I sat down in an empty chair there. A short time later I looked and, to my surprise, Srila Prabhupada had gotten up off the vyasasana and was raising his arms in the air and beginning to dance. So I immediately climbed on the chair and began to take photographs, and it turned out that I could not have found a better position to be in than that very one where I was. So I’m grateful to this person, who apparently was an obstacle but in fact was a great help in my service.

In 1975, I was in Mayapur for the festivities, and I had the privilege of filming Srila Prabhupada when he circumambulated Radha-Madhava and rang the bell with all the devotees dancing around him and also on his morning walks. At one point, I filmed him from behind from Prabhupada’s point of view as he approached the temple. In this service, I only felt support from Srila Prabhupada. I never felt that he in any way disapproved of what I was doing but rather that he approved of it and actually encouraged it. So I took this as Prabhupada’s personal mood towards the women, not just me but towards women generally in spiritual life. There was only encouragement, enthusiasm and appreciation of our service. So in that way I felt personally protected, and also I think all the women in Prabhupada’s society felt this protection and encouragement from Prabhupada.

Interview DVD 08

Visakha: There was just one person between me and a clear view of Srila Prabhupada, and that was Tripurari Swami. So I was standing behind him, and I did everything I could think of. I held my camera in front of him, I tapped him on the shoulder, but he was just fixated on Prabhupada offering the aratik.

He remained fixed in his position and, in fact, just ignored me. So I become a little bit desperate, and I put my mouth next to his ear because the kirtan was very loud and I said loudly, “If you stand there, then you can see Srila Prabhupada offering the aratik. But if you let me stand there, then the whole world will see Srila Prabhupada offering the aratik.”

Interview DVD 09

Visakha: I had written an article for Back to Godhead magazine about how we are not the body, very basic philosophy. And the editors thought that the written part of the article was fine, they didn’t have a problem with that, but they questioned my illustration for it because I more or less dissected the human body into different parts – the head, the chest, the legs, the arms – and tried to point out how we’re not these different parts. The editors felt it was too anatomical, and they didn’t really want to use it. But they thought that since Srila Prabhupada was there at the time in Los Angeles, I should ask him his opinion. So I went up to Prabhupada’s room with a mock-up of the article showing the illustrations, and I explained to him the concept. I didn’t get the answer that I was looking for, either yea or nay. But I got something far more valuable because I saw that although Prabhupada had thousands of disciples and dozens and dozens of temples all over the world, so many responsibilities, he gave his full undivided attention to this one teeny tiny little disciple and teeny tiny little article, three- or four-page article. It was like nothing else existed for those few minutes. He was fully present to this question that I was asking, and he was unhurried. He was not going to make a quick decision, but he really looked at the illustrations and thought about it. And on top of that, he was very thorough. He felt he couldn’t make a decision about the graphics without also reading the text that went with the graphics. So it was a great lesson for me in terms of making decisions in Krishna consciousness. It’s not a snap decision, but it is a meditation to see Prabhupada’s mindfulness and his presence and his focus and his thoroughness and his thoughtfulness even for a small question that’s put before him. Later on this article was published in the September 1975 issue of Back to Godhead magazine. The illustration with all the different bodily parts wasn’t used, but instead a painting by one of the devotees.

Yadubara was filming Prabhupada chanting japa in his quarters, and I was taking still photographs as Prabhupada walked back and forth. Yadubara ran out of film so he left the room to change his film, and I was there with Prabhupada. At one point, Srila Prabhupada stopped walking and he stood in front of a large painting of Jagannatha das Babaji Maharaj and he said to me, “Such an old man and still he is chanting.” So I didn’t know what to say at the time. But on reflecting on it, I felt that this was Prabhupada’s instruction that we go on chanting, that we don’t stop because of old age or any other physical reason, but instead we learn to relish the chanting and take shelter of the chanting and understand it as our connection to Krishna and our connection to Srila Prabhupada by following his instructions.

The day before Srila Prabhupada left Chicago there was a great celebration in the temple, and four small sets of Sri Sri Gaura-Nitai Deities, brass Deities, were installed. While the devotees chanted the Maha Mantra and read from the Bhagavatam and other scriptures, They were given a full abhiseka and then the Deities were dressed. Then each set was carried out to a different bus, a Radha Damodar bus, and each set was to preside over that bus while the devotees preached and sold Prabhupada’s books. So when that was complete, Srila Prabhupada gave a talk and he mentioned how pleased he was that now with these buses devotees could go from town to town and city to city and distribute books explaining the science of Krishna consciousness. He said, “Materially racing around will not help us in spiritual life.” We were allowed to be advanced materially, but we should never forget our spiritual duty and our spiritual identity. If we do forget those things, then our human form of life is wasted. So after this talk, then there was an initiation. Seventy-five devotees became initiated at this time, and we could see how Prabhupada was pleased by the devotees’ efforts, how Krishna consciousness was being spread successfully. This pleased Prabhupada very much.

I was on the flight between Philadelphia and Berkeley with Srila Prabhupada when the captain of the jet came out of the cockpit. He sat down next to Prabhupada, and the two of them had a very animated, joyful discussion. I could see Prabhupada was relishing the conversation. So I was filming this, and I was curious what they were discussing. But, of course, I couldn’t hear it, and I was too shy to ask Prabhupada what did he talk about after it was over. So I resigned myself that I guess I wouldn’t know. But it turned out that when Prabhupada arrived in Berkeley, during his arrival address he mentioned the conversation and he said the captain was very intelligent and he asked several questions. One of the questions was, “If God is all good, then why is there evil in the world?” Prabhupada said, “For God there is no evil, there is only good.” And he gave the analogy, “Just as my back is as important to me as my chest, if there is pain in my back I take care of that, I don’t ignore it thinking that the chest is more important. So evil is like the back of God and it’s not different from His front, which is compared to goodness.” Then the captain asked, “If everything is good from God’s point of view, how can there be evil?” and Prabhupada gave another example. He said, “It’s like the sun. On the body of the sun there is no shadow. We create shadow by turning our back to the sun. So similarly, evil means when we turn away from God.” So then the captain asked a third question. He said, “How is it possible to attain peace?” And Prabhupada said, “To attain peace, we have to understand that God is the supreme proprietor, the supreme enjoyer and the supreme friend.”

Interview DVD 10

Visakha: I was on the flight between Philadelphia and Berkeley with Srila Prabhupada when the captain of the jet came out of the cockpit. He sat down next to Prabhupada, and the two of them had a very animated, joyful discussion. I could see Prabhupada was relishing the conversation. So I was filming this, and I was curious what they were discussing. But, of course, I couldn’t hear it, and I was too shy to ask Prabhupada what did he talk about after it was over. So I resigned myself that I guess I wouldn’t know. But it turned out that when Prabhupada arrived in Berkeley, during his arrival address he mentioned the conversation and he said the captain was very intelligent and he asked several questions. One of the questions was, “If God is all good, then why is there evil in the world?” Prabhupada said, “For God there is no evil, there is only good.” And he gave the analogy, “Just as my back is as important to me as my chest, if there is pain in my back I take care of that, I don’t ignore it thinking that the chest is more important. So evil is like the back of God and it’s not different from His front, which is compared to goodness.” Then the captain asked, “If everything is good from God’s point of view, how can there be evil?” and Prabhupada gave another example. He said, “It’s like the sun. On the body of the sun there is no shadow. We create shadow by turning our back to the sun. So similarly, evil means when we turn away from God.” So then the captain asked a third question. He said, “How is it possible to attain peace?” And Prabhupada said, “To attain peace, we have to understand that God is the supreme proprietor, the supreme enjoyer and the supreme friend.”

Interview DVD 11

Visakha: At some point, Yadubara asked if we could film him while he translated, and finally we got permission. We set up some lights so that they were not too bright – the bright lights bothered Prabhupada’s eyes – and we filmed him as he translated from the 10th Canto, Chapter 13, Text 53 of Srimad-Bhagavatam. Our microphone was right next to his mouth, and I had the headphones on so I heard him speaking. And he said right into my ears, “Everything is acting, moving by the supreme desire of Krishna. This consciousness is Krishna consciousness.” So although I heard that from him directly, I could in no way relate it to that situation, that Prabhupada was about to leave this planet, was speaking one of his last purports. That this was the supreme desire of Krishna was beyond my comprehension. What we wanted at that point was Prabhupada’s vibrant preaching, his good health, traveling around the world, guiding us and correcting us, enthusing us, showing us what it’s like to be a Krishna conscious devotee. And to think that now it was Krishna’s desire that he leave was unacceptable. And also in that purport, reading it today there is no way of guessing the dire circumstances that Prabhupada spoke it in. Right there in that one purport was Prabhupada’s determination and his cent percent dedication to the mission of his spiritual master, completely resolute in his purpose.

Every day was emotional upheaval. We would hear different reports from the kaviraja, we would hear what Prabhupada drank, what little bit he might have eaten. The overwhelming mood was one of despair that clearly Prabhupada was preparing to leave this world, and certainly we had no idea what would become of us and what would become of his mission in his absence. Very often his godbrothers would come to visit him to say farewell, and Prabhupada would exhibit extreme humility and apologize for saying things that perhaps offended his godbrothers. And he would ask for their forgiveness, saying that in the course of preaching perhaps he was sometimes too strong. And his godbrothers invariably would say, “No, there is no offense taken,” that Srila Prabhupada has gloriously served their spiritual master and they took him as their leader. Other times disciples would come from throughout the world, and Prabhupada would have words of encouragement for them. He would inquire about their activities. And he was also concerned for all of us in Vrindavan. He would ask if the prasad was satisfactory, if there was adequate prasad. So in this way, he exhibited his incredible concern and his awareness of what was going on even in that condition.